robodork Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Hi all, So I'll start by saying I have very little dating experience and never had a real girlfriend. I'm pretty attractive but I get shy alot around new people and have moved several times. Anyway, this girl and I started messaging on OkCupid, and on paper we are the perfect match. Our match percentage is 99% on OkCupid, we are the highest possible match on the site and she happens to only live 45 minutes away. It seemed like a "too good to be true" practical joke at first, but it wasn't. We share the exact same thoughts on everything and seem to have the same personality, it's mind blowingly weird that we are so alike. On skype we talked for hours every night and we hit it off extremely well. Anyway we went on a real life coffee date, I am a terrible dater with almost no experience and found it awkward, there were quite a few awkward pauses. I thought she didn't like me but we talked later and she said she did like me but she just "sucks at talking". She said she felt comfortable and didn't find it awkward. I'm not the worlds best conversationalist but I carried it mostly, although I was nervous as she was alot better looking then expected. She has been messaging me alot and we want to do a real date. The movies seems okay but there isn't as much time to talk. I am also afraid that us texting each other constantly could kill future conversation. I want to prevent awkward as much as possible haha. Any advice on what to do for the date? I would want to do something romantic or something that could build a connection if there is one, but I lack those skills haha. Thanks!
thatone Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) if she's still messaging you after meeting up for the first time she's still interested, so as of right now you have nothing to worry about. the skills are pretty simple. especially since you met online you have a laundry list of her interests to go by. ask questions, let her answer, ask follow up questions to show you're listening. that's first and foremost. strike up conversation that you know she will be interested in based on what you know about her, then let her take over as she opens up and respond to what she says. you don't have to sound like the coolest guy in the world, or have great and wonderous things to talk about, just talk about simple things. "you know, since i saw you mention (insert artist name) in your profile this song of theirs is stuck in my head, what else from them should i listen to?" little stuff like that can turn into 30 or 45 minutes. hell, the girl i've been talking to on the phone for the last couple days spent an hour today on football (which is pretty awesome fwiw), it's not even football season. every time she started to trail off and run out of something to say I'd just ask another question about a specific player or a specific game from last season or something similar and she'd take off again for another 10 minutes. that's how you do it. you're not responsible for making up the ENTIRE conversation you're just steering it. once you get her going let her go. when she trails off or runs out of stuff on the current subject ask a related question, or tie it in to something else. "yeah they also did this song for a movie awhile back that was pretty good, did you see it?" tada, now you're talking about movies she likes. you just occupied another 30-45 minutes. keep eye contact, nod, smile, laugh at her jokes even if they're stupid, and you're home free. Edited July 13, 2011 by thatone
Recommended Posts