dobroj Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) The glrl I'm currently talking to is gonna b 15 in november. I just turned 18 I know the age difference is an issue but I have no desire to have sexual relation with her for a long time. We are strictly friends now and are waiting a few years to b romantically involved. I'm not concerned about us as a couple I'm concerned about her. Wen we first met her parents and sum family friends sed she had been hangin around a group of shady kids or the wrong crowd. Whether that meant drinking party or sex I don't know. I don't know anything besides possible rumors and if she's hiding sumthing from me now I'm sure if i talk to her she would eventually tell me the full truth she's just that kind of person and we tell each other everything. When I'm around her she seems perfectly normal and we have a fun time together just talking and being with each other. Her parents thought id good for her to maybe steer her straight and they trust me, I respect their expectattions of me and will not dissapoint them. I'm worried about her because her parents are going through a divorce and her dad recently got in some trouble with his job. (Not going into detail) but he could lose his job or possible jail. she doesn't know about the trouble he's in yet as it was discussed at a town council meeting tonight. And I don't know whether to tell her before its a crushing blow directly or forwarn her of wats coming her way in a highly private convo. Her dad is the one she mostly cares for at this moment and if he's out of her life for a prolonged period of time idk wat shed do. She's had sum emotional problems and herd she experimenting with cutting to ease pain but also it's a rumor. Some of the guys she hangs around just want in her pants and theyr overall the wrong people she shouldn't b around. She's a beautiful girl has a lot to offer the world she's bright and not ur average 14 year old. She's entirely different and we share a lot of the same intrests. I don't know of what people say about her is true and if she's truly open to me as she says she is I know she will tell me. I just don't know whether I should try to talk to her about personal issues such as these or stay out and protect myself. If she would turn on me (highly doubt she would) but if she or her family would and id have no way to prove my innocence I could b a registerd fellon as. A chimo or sex offender and go to jail. But if something would happen to her because of drugs/alchohol/pregnancy/ or injury due to sum of the scumbag so called friends she supposedly sees I couldn't help but feel responsible because I could have interviened sumwhere. I'm 18 a virgin and proud of it. I deeply care for this girl and don't want. To see her make a bad decison that could alter her life. I'm willing to wait for her until she can make the decisionthat decision on her own only wen she's of age. Any opinions or thoughts on the topic. Sorry so long of a message it kind of feels better to get it all out at once than keep little tidbitz of info held bak from the post Edited July 13, 2011 by dobroj
smudge21 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I would be concerned about this if I were you. The fact is she is very much underage and, as you state, if someone was to suggest anything (with the way people and the media are about this stuff) you would be guilty until proven innocent, but you'd still always be guilty. Once someone is labelled a child sex offender, they are always a child sex offender, doesn't matter if they're innocent or guilty and serve time. Unlike any other crime, the label stays with them forever. I know you feel you can save this girl from herself. We all feel like that when we care for someone, but often is the case you can't save some people. You have to walk away and let them find their own path, make their own mistakes and learn from them. There is no problem with you being there for her as a family friend but you need to be careful if you even mention that you hope it will become something more. All it takes is someone to say something to the wrong person...
Author dobroj Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 For about the first week we werjust talkin chat I'm ect.... I thought to myself I really wanna make this work so id ask her to prom. (Completely oblivious of her age at this time) she sed yes.the day after she told me how old she was and I sed sorry I had even brought up the idea and to forget it for now. She didnt seem to mind. If she would stil go however I'm looking at it not as a date but simply a special moment in my life I don't want to go thru alone. Is it wrong if id share a special moment like this with sumone I care about. Her parents I think would let her go as they think I'm mature for telling them exacly how I feel about her and they trust me. Its my parents I'm concerned about because they don't even know or seen her and their basing ALL their opinions on rumors that her Granpa is saying she's always with guy friends and dresses like a slut. I know if I talk with her I know I could get sum straight answers. And her having guy friehds besides me idc I just hope they actually care for her like. I do. I don't want to see her life become more dificult than it alred e is. I know a divorce is a never ending hell and highly abusive. Mentally and emotional
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