micot Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 hi all well my story mid/late May my girl of 6 yrs broke it off with me no real reason given ,i got the i ''don't love you anymore'',''you did nothing wrong, it's me'' . we've had very limited contact since [by phone] she's even been by my place to collect things which i had no probleem with [i was trying to be mature about things] we're both in out mid 40's. And yes i've asked for a reason why we're no more when i've seen her and got a boat load of different replies like ''some comments i've made''[where from different areas and sometimes our comments,remarks are not understood nothing mean or bad though] ,''pressure'' ,''afraid to take the next step'' etc. Tonight after work she stopped over ,about 2 weeks ago when i last saw her i gave her a necklace that she returned to me [with other jewelery] the necklace i know she always loved.i put it on her told her to wear it for a bit until we see each other again then she can either give it back to me for good,or maybe we start us over,she cried when i put it on her . Anyways tonight she stopped by [as planned ] i attempted to talk to her but wasn't getting replies.i told her how i felt about her and our situation she was giving me nothing .Now i know for certain it's another guy [she knows i know] though she wont admit that to me . Two night ago we had a powe outtage and i called her to check on her,she said that's you ,i said me what,she said always carring ,i said well yea we had 6 yrs together of course i care about you even now . some of our convos during the ''limited contact'' calls some convos were good ,some not so good but it happens . Tonight she cried a little as i was talking to her,she gave me that necklace back [without any words about it ] after a while of mostly me talking she said she had an appointment [she probably didn't who knows] she left upset crying .i hatted seeing her leave like this .i gave it about 45 min i calmed down [i didn't yell ,put fingers in her face etc. that's NOT us]i figured she'd be calmer too she answerd my call i just said i just wanted to check on you make sure you're o.k. , she said she was and thanked me for calling.I asked why we can not just sit and talk as adultswhen we see each other,she didn;t know why either.i said in our lives we've both broken up with partners before yet this one is soo different and harder,she agreed.I even offerd maybe in a while we could meet up with a third party [a pastor,psycologist,counselor] and get to the root of the communication problem . she said she considers me a dear friend and who knows what the future may hold BUT she couldn't say hey how about in 2-3 weeks time [or any legnth of time]let's meet up and talk and see what happens . soo being i'm getting no answers from her i guess now not even limited contact i have to go strictly no contact as much as it's gonna hurt , we did go no contact a bit ago for about a week or so BUT nothings changed soo now i guess this is really it -theirs no other options i can see .i left the door to communication open ,BUT it doesn't work with just one sided communication .
Author micot Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 has anyone else here gone through anything like this ? what do you guys make of this kind of situation ?
TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I say, you're right! Go NC. Give her some space. You could us it too. You need to focus on healing and get your self in order. Perhaps it may make her realize what life is going to be like without you or she may realize that it's for the best. But, you need to focus on you and heal. That's my take on the situation. I wish you the best of luck and remember, whatever else happens, you'll be more than okay. You'll meet someone much better down the road.
andyg99 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 sorry for your troubles... if you know it's another guy then let her go, stop all contact and if she does contact you let her know that you know and if you want to take the higher road wish her well and ask her to not contact you anymore and let you move on... this sucks big time, I'm 2 weeks into a situation where I lost who I thought was my best friend, I haven't spoken to her since she left and every day it gets better - when I get the urge to call her I call someone else and talk through it... she chose another man over me so really what is there to discuss??
wilsonx Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 If you step out of yourself right now and read what you typed there are 2 things going on. #1 you have to give her space. you have to go complete no contact. One of the things you should learn is that you have to let her go when shes distancing herself. The main reason is to protect yourself from getting hurt. Right now, you are doing the opposite of this. You are being a stage 5 clinger. I did it for the last 4 days of my relationship. #2 shes guilty because she knows whats really going on and she doesn't want to hurt you. if she were to really tell you, you would be crushed. this is why you need to step away. You have to go NC and its going to be extremely hard with that kind of time but you need to either rely on old friends to help you or make some new friends. Even family members.
Author micot Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 k i am positive it is another guy , i've seen enough to know this .also some friends of mine have mentioned they've seen her around with some guy they described him and what he dives it's the same guy i know of I am in complete no contact now as of this morning ,unfortunatly their is something comming up in August and we'll have to be in contact just once it might be just by phone real quick . I'VE told her in the recent past what i've seen involving another guy only to get no reply,i've even mentioned it yesterday when she stopped by and said it's o.k. if you tell me then at least i'd know why you left no reply IF she didn't want to hurt me then why would she say ''i don't love you anymore'' etc. those words hurt big time no matter who it is WHEN she was leaving i said so guess this is it , her reply was ''never know what the future will bring'' i said ''i don't see anything with you in my future if you can't even sit and talk with me '' i think time and no contact will just keep us too far apart to ever get close she did say she considers me ''a dear friend'' i told her this isn't no type of friendship .I swear the woman i'm seeing and hearing now is NOT the one i met and fell for 6 yrs ago theirs no similarities,funny thing is she's been cheated on in the past and hatted it and we had the liers and cheaters talk and both agreed we wouldn't do or stand for it YET here it is happening to me by her . AND somewhere along the road we're bound to run into each other somewhere maybe just me and her maybe me her and the new guy either way it's gonna happen our towns aren't that big. and i don't think she'll be introducing us lol
Naveed161 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Looking for love? Cupid can help! Cupid.com http://www.cupid.com/aff.php?a_aid=8b6c51b0&a_bid=1e197281
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Yep! You need to let her go. Stay NC. She's going to start contacting you in the near future. Ignore it! You're not her friend (sorry to say that) She chose to have you out of her life and that is EXACTLY what you need to give her. She needs to know what life is going to be like without you in it. I know it's hard right now, but everytime you think of contacting her, think with your head and not your heart. She chose to cheat on you..she chose to be with this other guy than to be with you. She will contact you again and your first knee jerk reaction to to immediately respond, don't do it. Post here instead, if you're feeling down and depressed; post here. If you're angry and need to vent, post here.
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