funnyface Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I wrote a previous post about this whole situation that happened with my boyfriend while we were in Paris. Long story short... we went on the trip with a bunch of our friends, including some of his friends from California. During the trip, he became very very distant from me. He came home and said that he is miserable in NY and wants to move back, but doesn't want to break up with me. And that nothing is wrong between us. Okay, fine. But considering that our relationship before this trip consisted of texts every day filled with "I love you", "baby", "sweetheart", romantic gestures, unexpected flowers, the whole 9 yards, and now we're barely talking, its hard for me to accept that nothing's wrong between us. I have confronted him about this about 4 or 5 times, asking him whats wrong, practically telling him to break up with me ASAP instead of treating me like a stranger. Every single time, he has denied that there is anything wrong between us, but instead that he is feeling sad and homesick, and misses his friends and his old life. While I 100% understand that, I just don't know why we're barely talking. I don't know why he's not coming to me to comfort him. Its hard because I feel like he's shutting me out. We've been home for 4 days so far from our trip. Last night he insisted that we talk over the phone. I thought "this is it... he's going to end it." Wrong again. He was upset because he's been planning a surprise for my birthday and was texting one of my friends about it. He got upset because she asked if he was still doing it, to which he responded "why wouldn't I be?". She said because she thought that "things were weird between you guys", and assured her that it was still going on. Yet another shock for me. And even though the most he can manage these days is a text that says "hey", he keeps asking me if I'm coming with him to a wedding at the end of the month. I'm just extremely confused. I believe that he is upset, but don't know why he is pushing me away like I mean nothing to him. I just can't read his signals. Some of my friends tell me to wait it out, and he'll come around. Others tell me to dump him. I love him. I don't want to mess this up. Please help!
Rando Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 he obviously cares for you, but some people become distant when upset. youre focusing too much on his lack of communication... you don't want to smother him, so just wait it out and let him come to you. i.e. take it easy
prosense Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I am a guy and I think when guys do such things, I would say it is not a good sign. I am sorry if my statement let you down. Sometimes, guys are harsh to their girls so that girls would distant themselves from guys.. sorta of reverse psychology tactics.. maybe your guy wants to put an end to everything, but he just can't and yet he is just being not nice so that YOU will terminate. But it is just my pessimistic theory so don't take my word for it. Just sit down and talk to him. Don't confront him. Give me an ultimatum. This might bring out true colors of him. Hope things will work out!
Author funnyface Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 thank you for the advice, things only got worse. he didn't speak to me for 2 full weeks... I knew I didn't deserve that and had to end it. It was very difficult for me. I had thought for sure that the depression was just a front for being too afraid to break up with me, but then he left me a voicemail saying how sorry he was for all the bad things he did to me, how he treated me, and how he has been in a "downward spiral" and was sorry I got sucked into the "tornado." he is moving back to CA. I only now wonder if he really is telling the truth, and if he will want to come back later on...
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