U1987 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I've read a lot of threads and whenever a younger guy is having a problem with a girl, I see a lot of older guys type "This is why I don't use Facebook" or social networking in general. The problem is, a lot of young people (in the 18-25 group) do, and you'll be hard pressed to find ones who don't. Spinaroonie said that a lot of young women today have diminished attention spans because they grew up on texting, smarthphones, social networking websites, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and other "female-centric technologies;" all their social lives, they've been bombarded round-the-clock with text messages, friend-invites, Facebook and Twitter wall posts, viral videos and so forth and have lost much of their ability to take a step back, slow down and connect face to face with a guy. Social networking also means more competition from other guys as they'll constantly be texting the girl you're interested in and blowing up their facebook wall. So what does it take to keep the attention of a girl who grew up in the mid-to-late 2000's on all this technology? How do you get a girl to slow down, put down the iPhone and connect face to face? How do you subtly but effectively tell her "Hey! Listen up! I'm a great guy so pay attention! I'm not gonna play silly little texting/Facebook games with you!" Cuz I feel like it's getting harder.
alphamale Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 , I see a lot of older guys type "This is why I don't use Facebook" or social networking in general. i met a very nice attractive lady at a BBQ on Saturday. We're going out within the next week.
Cee Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Look for women who do things in real life, not simply chatter on Facebook. That may seem like a facile answer, but I know a slew of young women who do stuff like create art, start businesses, run marathons, etc. I know so many single women under 30 who are astonishing people. But these women are hard to catch because they are incredibly busy and don't necessarily make dating a priority.
TheBigQuestion Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 My advice would be to stop focusing so much energy on dating. The fact that you get considerably pissed when chicks flake on you AND when someone in a thread doesn't give you an answer you find useful is a surefire sign that you take things way too seriously. Also, all of your threads and posts eventually conclude with the same type of phrase: "How do I make a girl do ______". You can't make anyone do anything.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I read that post too. I am not being argumentative. My daughter is 23. I know lots of young people through her, both male and female. First, I don't think that technological communication of any kind is "femalecentric" and I found it amusing that someone would. Every single young guy I know is on FB, Reddit, and certainly I have never perceived YouTube as being a "feminine" kind of place! I will concede that I see more cell-phone-fixated girls than boys (texting addicts), but they seem to be more high school aged. My daughter and her friends, though they are very tech savvy (and her boyfriend of 5 years is a programmer) are CONSTANTLY doing stuff. They are deep into music and go to see bands. They play kickball with devotion. They are often going off to the hot springs or the coast, eating in cheap restaurants, and doing really wild stuff like participating in a city wide scavenger hunt (which happens to have Facebook as a platform). The "problems" that you describe are simply not present in their lives. That's not to say that they don't have plenty of relationship issues, loneliness, trouble with dating, etc. But these are not caused by cell phones, Facebook and YouTube.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I'd like to add: The whole constant bombardment thing is definitely a fact of life and I do agree that it has changed social life and can sometimes be a negative, for some people. The "femalecentric" thing I just cannot wrap my mind around. Let me ask you: Are you still only looking for casual sex? If you are, you are probably not finding many young women who have the same dating goals that you have. That's the breaks, though.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I think people are generally unable to connect with anyone, in part due to technology. I mean if you think about it almost all of the new stuff simply makes it easier to do things on your own. You no longer have to go to the video store to rent a movie, you just wait for the next movie on your netflix list to come in the mail; if you like video games you no longer go to the arcade, you just plug in your xbox and you're good to go; you don't have to go to the bookstore anymore, just buy one online or through your kindle, the list goes on and on. Naturally social people still socialize, but socializing used to also be a means of entertainment. People didn't have cable, or the internet, or vcrs, or video games at home so if they wanted to do something other than sit and watch the walls they had to go out and socialize, even if they weren't naturally social people. That's how people met, and dated. That world no longer exists. I sometimes fear for my generation, we're aiming for independence but ending up with isolation.
TheBigQuestion Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Bottom line, this whole dating thing is supposed to be fun. You have control over the degree of obsession with dating you have, as well as control over your emotional responses to being flaked on or otherwise rejected.
Author U1987 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 I'd like to add: The whole constant bombardment thing is definitely a fact of life and I do agree that it has changed social life and can sometimes be a negative, for some people. The "femalecentric" thing I just cannot wrap my mind around. Okay, I'm scrolling through my facebook right now. I have about 160 friends. The average guy, I would guess by looking at some of my male friend's accounts, has about 200-300 friends. The girls, on the other hand, have about 700-1000. The average guy on my friends list (myself included) gets about 2-3 wall posts a week. The average girl on my friends list seems to be getting 3-5 a day. And like I way back, I've had a big problem with girls texting or checking their facebook on dates (apparently, young girls have never heard of the "no cell phones on dates" rule) but I've never pulled out my phone on a date or heard of a guy who did.
sweetjasmine Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 So what does it take to keep the attention of a girl who grew up in the mid-to-late 2000's on all this technology? An interesting personality instead of a fake persona combined with scripted lines and actions meant to manipulate and control. You're welcome.
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