BetheButterfly Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 This hurts, I was really getting attached to him. I enjoyed our time together. I just don't understand why some people have to be so close minded and respect that we all have our own beliefs, and that's what makes us unique. Deeply disappointed. I am sorry you are hurting. The world is full of diversity, which is awesome! Even though your beliefs did not match his, it is very possible that there is a wonderful man out there who shares your beliefs and who would love to talk with you about them. So even though you are hurting now, remember that once you meet a guy who you like AND who shares your beliefs, you will be glad it didn't work out with this guy who didn't share them.
Audrina Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 To some people, their beliefs are very important to them. I know if some people believe certain things I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with them and that's just my personal choice, just like it's his. I'm sorry that he broke up with you, but I don't think it has anything to do with being close minded. When I was engaged to be married my ex and I had this list of things we should go over before we did, basically our core beliefs that we would not change, and we discovered that when those things were in conflict, especially with what we TRULY believe and how we would want to raise our children, there just may not be a way for the relationship to work out. Some things matter more to others than they do to us and that's just something we have to accept.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I feel the same. No offence OP and I'm very unconventional and open minded, but I couldn't be with someone I had such differing views with, ie about something (if it's an important subject I mean) I personally might find ridiculous. You're entitled to your views and ways of thinking about things of course but so is he, I want to be with someone I feel akin to and it sounds like your ex did too. It's common for r/ships to break up over differences of opinion, different views on life. To some people it won't matter, but to others it's very important to have a similar outlook on life. It doesn't mean someone is closed minded just because they don't share your view. It's for the best that he left as it leaves you free to find someone you are more compatible with Tbh, if you said to me stuff like "we're all energy", "different vibrational level", "I took it as a sign", "I believe in the power of prayer" - I would have thought you were one of these New Age nuts (or at the very least knew nothing about science), and I'd have run a mile, the same as this guy did. Stuff like "different vibrational level" just sounds like crazy talk to me - what's vibrating, and through what medium does it propagate?
HeavenOrHell Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I disagree, to find someone compatible with her she needs to be herself and not hide her beliefs from anyone, that would be false and she wouldn't find someone compatible. I agree with your last sentence. I am sympathetic to her pain But I think that to avoid a similar thing happening again, it's better to keep new-age-type beliefs to yourself. A lot of people are put off by that sort of thing. If someone says that no-one is 100% sure, that's usually an excuse to believe any old nonsense.
HeavenOrHell Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 'KEEP AN OPEN MIND, BUT NOT SO OPEN THAT YOUR BRAIN FALLS OUT' Richard Feynmann (Sorry about the caps). Good 'science begins with being open minded enough to explore the unknown & seemingly unknowable. The Earth being round & not the center of the universe was just a bunch of unscientific, crazy talk at one time too, at least until some had the courage to consider it. I also think that CG is better off without someone who is not as open minded as she is.
thatone Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 To some people, their beliefs are very important to them. I know if some people believe certain things I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with them and that's just my personal choice, just like it's his. I'm sorry that he broke up with you, but I don't think it has anything to do with being close minded. When I was engaged to be married my ex and I had this list of things we should go over before we did, basically our core beliefs that we would not change, and we discovered that when those things were in conflict, especially with what we TRULY believe and how we would want to raise our children, there just may not be a way for the relationship to work out. Some things matter more to others than they do to us and that's just something we have to accept. i disagree. it is closed minded when you tell someone you "can't take them seriously". i'm agnostic, don't make any bones about it. i have a huge catholic family, on the other hand. do you think i tell them that i "can't take them seriously" every time i see them on a holiday? no, that would be stupid on my part. you can respect people's opinions and your own without demeaning others. i don't date protestants, i will date catholics, and the reason is the points made above. i can't take intolerant people seriously. i have stopped dating women that i later found out were militantly protestant, for lack of a better word, but i was never rude about it. i just told them "look, we don't believe in the same things, and i can't be a part of your religion". it's as simple as that, there's no reason to try to belittle others unless you're insecure and using your religion as a crutch to avoid dealing with your real issues as the OP's boyfriend probably is. for those people religion is not about faith, it's about ego, and anyone who doesn't accept the people who tell them they're better than everyone else is a threat to that ego.
Audrina Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 i disagree. it is closed minded when you tell someone you "can't take them seriously". i'm agnostic, don't make any bones about it. i have a huge catholic family, on the other hand. do you think i tell them that i "can't take them seriously" every time i see them on a holiday? no, that would be stupid on my part. you can respect people's opinions and your own without demeaning others. i don't date protestants, i will date catholics, and the reason is the points made above. i can't take intolerant people seriously. i have stopped dating women that i later found out were militantly protestant, for lack of a better word, but i was never rude about it. i just told them "look, we don't believe in the same things, and i can't be a part of your religion". it's as simple as that, there's no reason to try to belittle others unless you're insecure and using your religion as a crutch to avoid dealing with your real issues as the OP's boyfriend probably is. for those people religion is not about faith, it's about ego, and anyone who doesn't accept the people who tell them they're better than everyone else is a threat to that ego. There's also a huge difference between accepting the beliefs of people in your family and circle of friends and people that you are dating. While not all people, but some, date because they are looking for someone to spend their life with and they may not be able to be with someone who's views and beliefs are in direct contrast with theirs. I dated a very devote Baptist for awhile, but after a short time I had to leave him, I knew in the long run he would want me to subscribe to his point of view, especially when it came to raising a family with his religious beliefs and that wasn't something I was willing to do. It doesn't make me close minded, I accepted him for his beliefs completely, but I realized that the long term compatibility wasn't there because of them. Maybe his delivery was too strong and blunt, but at least he didn't drag it on, made it clear about how he felt and now they both can move on.
thatone Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 There's also a huge difference between accepting the beliefs of people in your family and circle of friends and people that you are dating. While not all people, but some, date because they are looking for someone to spend their life with and they may not be able to be with someone who's views and beliefs are in direct contrast with theirs. I dated a very devote Baptist for awhile, but after a short time I had to leave him, I knew in the long run he would want me to subscribe to his point of view, especially when it came to raising a family with his religious beliefs and that wasn't something I was willing to do. It doesn't make me close minded, I accepted him for his beliefs completely, but I realized that the long term compatibility wasn't there because of them. Maybe his delivery was too strong and blunt, but at least he didn't drag it on, made it clear about how he felt and now they both can move on. yeah, in her shoes i would have been offended by the conversation, but not the decision itself. it's funny isn't it, how supposedly 'religious' people are the most rude and condescending of others, while those of us who believe in nothing are often more polite and tolerant. guess that whole "casting the first stone" bit was just for show .
Audrina Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 yeah, in her shoes i would have been offended by the conversation, but not the decision itself. it's funny isn't it, how supposedly 'religious' people are the most rude and condescending of others, while those of us who believe in nothing are often more polite and tolerant. guess that whole "casting the first stone" bit was just for show . Guess so. But I have to say, it's not like I don't understand where they are coming from. Religion is so important in some people's lives and that's their choice.
TaurusTerp Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Nearly everyone who come to New Age beliefs actually consciously chose them, instead of being spoon-fed the ideology from when they were little. It seems strange to denounce people who consciously choose their beliefs as "crazy" over those who blindly accept what they are taught.... The belief system isn't random at all. No more random than any major religious belief system. Sorry for veering off-topic again... That whole point is that she consciously chose those beliefs. That's why it's more crazy than the spoon-fed beliefs.
thatone Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 That whole point is that she consciously chose those beliefs. That's why it's more crazy than the spoon-fed beliefs. k, here's my agnostic face.... it's not at all more crazy, by definition, because neither of them are true.
Recommended Posts