Crisis Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 As for those of you'll how don't know my story, here it is. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t285713/ I feel so restless. It's been 5 weeks since the break up and entering the 3rd week of NC. I don't think about her as much and I'm not feeling much emotion. I'm thinking logically now and have noticed all the things that were unheathy in the relationship. I still WANT her, even though I'm not trying to have her anymore. I don't even think I'm a thought to her. I haven't over analyzed this in a while and I'm not going to start now. I just want to know, why I'm so restless now?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 the 3rd week of NC seems to be the turning point for most people, their emotional brain hands control over to the logical hemisphere. It doesn't happen all at once which may be why you feel that you want her back (your emotional hemisphere). but you're not feeling much emotion and admit to being able to think logically and analyse the breakup (logical hemisphere). Basically you are at that part of the healing process where everything is settling in and it should be easier from here on out. You'll still have bad days here and there but you are definitely on your way to recovery. Good for you!!!
Author Crisis Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 yay! I'm still wishing I was with her. My counselor said I should write and send her a letter, kind of my last breath to her and tell her what I need to then say good bye and be over with it. What do you'll think?
greenhorn Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Don't send any letter or anything that breaks your NC. It is tough, it is hard but it is also the rite of passage. Once you have come out well managing the end of this relationship, you will be much more confident and equipped for the next one. Take one day at a time. Say to yourself that you will send the letter tomorrow and keep doing this until you are out of the idea. It is summer time, go out have a fling or something with some hot girl. Don't hurt for someone who does not care for you.
Author Crisis Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 The point of the letter is not to make contact. It's suppose to just say, good bye finally. I don't know is she is waiting or I am but it is suppose to help me move on. Kinda of like since she broke up with me, the person I feel in love with is dead, and the letter symbolizing that I'm putting her in the ground never to see or hear from her again. Guess you could think of it that way. Saying I'm going to send it and never doing it makes me a procrastinator. I'm not, but I'm still battling with myself about it, whether to send it or not. Do I really want to say good bye in that manner. I've still yet to decide.
sookiie Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 hey crisis i agree wit greenhorn ,don send dat letter ,maintain NC
Mack05 Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 Crisis, people that want to send a goodbye letter to break NC are kidding themselves. It's just a way to stay attached to them. If she does not reply or even if she does, this letter will set your recovery back. Despite what u think, she doesn't need to know what is in that letter. Keep going forward, not looking backward. Trust me, its best for you not to send this letter..
sun_moon Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 I'm surprised that your counselor said this. Most books state this and heard other advice from therapists say to write the letter, for your own closure and healing, but not send it. It symbolizes your coming to terms with things and why the relationship doesn't work, why the person doesn't work for you. I have yet to write my letter to myself, I am procrastinating. You are restless because you are bored as hell. The more idle you are, the more thoughts creep up, the negative kind. You and I both know why! WE ARE IN TEXAS, there is a massive heat wave, temperatures are in the triple digits and if I remember correctly, Dallas has got it pretty bad. Have you gone through the rolling power outages? Thank god I haven't experienced that. Find something fun to do, indoors! LOL. I'm just trying to make you smile, keep your focus on the logical side of things. For the love of God, do not send the letter.
sookiie Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 hey greenhorn..i jus found ur post of 2005 while lokin in google for som solution...u c i hav suffered d exact same fate as u...got dumped aftr 7 yrs..n i cudnt help bt relate 2 al d thngs u said in d post ,lik hw can a prsn b so cruel 2 b rude 2 u n b normal wit othrs...its bin 2 weks since i hav bin dumped...n hav got no response wat so ever 4 mi efforts 2 gt bak..cals hav gone unanswered ,msgs unreplied...its bin 1 wek sinc NC frm mi part..i hav quit mah job cos i cant concentrate..bt dis pain is not goin away...i jus wantd 2 knw does d pain Ever go away..does d love ever go away?? Pls i realy nid ur advice vry badly..
greenhorn Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 hey greenhorn..i jus found ur post of 2005 while lokin in google for som solution...u c i hav suffered d exact same fate as u...got dumped aftr 7 yrs..n i cudnt help bt relate 2 al d thngs u said in d post ,lik hw can a prsn b so cruel 2 b rude 2 u n b normal wit othrs...its bin 2 weks since i hav bin dumped...n hav got no response wat so ever 4 mi efforts 2 gt bak..cals hav gone unanswered ,msgs unreplied...its bin 1 wek sinc NC frm mi part..i hav quit mah job cos i cant concentrate..bt dis pain is not goin away...i jus wantd 2 knw does d pain Ever go away..does d love ever go away?? Pls i realy nid ur advice vry badly.. Hey Sookiie, hang in there. It does gets better and perfectly normal. I will reply in detail a bit later. Need to start work after summer holidays, so bit busy today. Will surely get back to you !
greenhorn Posted August 23, 2011 Posted August 23, 2011 Hey Sookiie, I got late with my response and was trying to send you a PM but it didn't go through. I am not sure what site restrictions are there on PM.
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