prosense Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Hey, ya'll. This is my very first attempt to ask for any advince on this website. My story is tad long but let me make it real short so that you won't be bored. 1. 3 weeks ago So, I happened to like the sister of my good friend. My friend and I are very tight! (we both are guys and in late 20's) I asked for a permission to ask his sister out and he gave me the greenlight- Although I had had this crush for a while, I finally mustered up the courage. And we (me, my buddy and sister) hung out multilple times so it wasn't like I don't know at all. 2. 2 weeks ago so I met her somewhere in town and broached the issue. The next day, I called her and she said yes to my offer. I was very excited 3. 1 week ago We went on a date. I'd say the date was all right. We went to different places, had few awkward moments, but all in all it was a very typical date. 4. 6 days ago So, I called her the next day and asked her out again, and she said yes again! I was extatic. In the mean time, we'd talk on the phone, text each other sometimes and converse via FB. (not everyday but once in a while) 5. 3 days ago suddenly, she changed our plans and started to be a bit hesistant. And this is where I got a bad vibe from her that maybe she does not want to meet me. but she still wanted to hang out this past weekend 6. 2 days ago eventually, we met very shortly. And I gave her a lily (just one single lily nothing fancy) and we had icecream. She had to leave coz she was on her way to church and her friends were waiting for her. After the meeting, I was very sure that the bad vibe was quite present.. I don't know how to explain.. but she wasn't just there..maybe it was the flower I don't know. so I texted her that night "if i made you uncomfortable, it wasn't intentional" and she texted back"I would not say uncomfortable. truth to be told, I value our friendship and I don't want to run the risk of ruining it and making it awkward" to that I said "thanks for your honesty" and I went to bed 7. yesterday I left a msg on her fb since I thought we need sorta a closure ..although it was just a date.. you know.. I said "Hey, I just wanted to say I understand what you said last night and that I hope things are not awkward next time we all hang out together. Have a safe trip to China. Bye" to which she said "Hey! I knew that you are such an understanding person and a great listener. Don't worry I won't make it awkward! I hope we can all hang out together. Don't work too hard and I will talk to you soon" Isn't it clear that she is not attracted to me and it is time for me to move on????? I am certain that this is what is happening. right???
gorilla07 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 just be patient and dont rush anything..after a couple dates just ask her where she thinks you both are..and if you both end up just being good friends it's whats ment to be..who knows, maybe later down the road she'll change her mind, i've had it happen to me.
Author prosense Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Hey. Gorilla07. thanks for the reply. you said "after a couple dates" just ask her where she thinks you both are" I don't understand what you said.. I meant.. I don't think she wants to date me.. meaining I can't ask her out.. or can I???????
gorilla07 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Hey. Gorilla07. thanks for the reply. you said "after a couple dates" just ask her where she thinks you both are" I don't understand what you said.. I meant.. I don't think she wants to date me.. meaining I can't ask her out.. or can I??????? I would call it just throwing it out there..be like, well we've known each other for a while and i dont want to give the wrong impression to you, where do you see us going, whether it being good and her possibly wanting a relationship, or her just saying she's being happy being friends(dont be upset if she says this though!) I would just talk to her while she's gone maybe arrange a date for when she gets back, let her talk about her vacation and at the end before you leave ask her.
Author prosense Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Hey, Gorilla07. Thanks for your input again. However, as much as I would like to ask her such questions, I think I need to refrain myself from doing that. I won't prolly see her next couple weeks and this will give ample time to both me and her to think about the whole issue. I think she is VERY clear about her intentions... but I wonder what others make of this situation.. I need more advice!!
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