Teknoe Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Teknoe, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Am I? Or did you make a molehill out of a mountain? (rhetorical question) This was not a golden opportunity. ANYTHING can be made into an opportunity. You just have to see the opportunities that are there. In this case, this wasn't just an opportunity, it was a GOLDEN one. How so? TO HER (try to see it from her shoes OK?), she invited you because she cared, and she wanted to see how you would fare in such a formal setting. To her it meant a lot. But since you rejected it, IN A WAY, you rejected her. That only gives a shy girl like her more impetus that yeah, you're probably not serious enough and more of a platonic friend than BF material. Do you see? You have to look at it from HER shoes as well. Why the hell do you think she invited you? Just for fun? Girls never invite a guy friend over to dinner with her parents "just for fun." They're doing it because they want to observe how well (or not) you handle yourself. They want to see if you're the kind of guy they would want to be in a relationship with. i.e. a guy who can carry a conversation with her parents, a guy who can carry himself with confidence and class, etc. If anything it would have been a slightly awkward to neutral experience. I simply don't want to be the focus of attention at this point in our "relationship." Then maybe you're just not ready for a relationship with this girl, or anyone else at this point in time. Because relationships are focused on you and your GF. You can't just have a healthy relationship on the "down low." Why are you so insecure/afraid of being the focus of attention? Guess what, she was ASKING YOU INDIRECTLY to be, because she wanted to see how you would handle yourself in such a situation. It was a test. Girls test guys. ALL THE TIME. I also see you have a really negative mindset that needs a major shift. Why do you always think so negatively? Why not think "Dinner will go awesome" instead of "It will be awkward" ? This KILLS you, man. Time to adopt a positive outlook on life. Also I've already met her mom and she thinks I'm a decent guy. Again, you're not seeing it from HER shoes. She invited you to a SPECIAL dinner her mom was cooking. There's a huge difference between sitting down, having a meal and conversation with her parents than a quick informal meeting. You rejected her invite YOU REJECTED HER. (especially when you had nothing else going on that night. I'd understand if you had other plans BUT YOU DIDN'T) There will be other times to eat with her family. Ever hear of carpe diem? We're never guaranteed of life except for NOW. God forbid, something could happen to her or you tonight. Or simply, this was it. You can't think "there will be other times" because there truly might not be. You gotta strike while the iron's hot. SHE INVITED YOU AND YOU WERE FREE. Do you know how many guys would kill to be in your position? Many guys -- their crushes are ignoring them! Here you had a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY and you said no. Trust me, rationalizing it with "there will be other times" is grade-A talk for single people who have no sense of urgency and want to be in a magical relationship, but don't have the guts to actually work for it/make it happen. This, again, is self-sabotage at its best (or worst) "but you also lost out on a great opportunity to shifting her perspective of you as just a platonic friend." How could eating dinner at her house do that? Every man carves out his own destiny. You saw a situation as no gain and all loss, so you took your ball and went home early. I on the other hand saw a situation that was ALL gain, and a chance for you to hit a home run out of the park. It's all in your attitude, man. Dinner is an intimate time. It's a special time. Add to that her folks being there. I really am baffled you refuse to understand this. Look at all the great men in history, like Martin Luther King Jr., or ordinary men who are currently in GREAT relationships. Do you think history was made by them saying NO to opportunity and instead they went home to sleep in early, or surf the net? NO! History was made when they saw the opportunity for what it was, grabbed it by the horns and their courage/sense of urgency paid off. Frederick Douglass once said without struggle there is no progress. You always take the easy way out and you'll never experience the greater side of life. Relationships involve risk, putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable and like it or not the spotlight will be casted on you. You can't have a healthy relationship without these things being true. You clearly desire a relationship, but you refuse to do the things that will help you have (a healthy) one. It's almost like someone who wants to become a movie star, but rejects an audition that could be his big break. NO FEAR, MAN! You can't let fear get the best (or worst) of ya. I really hope something I said here resonates with you.
welikeincrowds Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Somedude, I have to say, trying to find ways to help you has been an aggravating experience. Time and again you get the same advice, but when it comes down to it, you keep insisting that you're right or that you had no choice but to do what you did, even though what you are doing is not working. When you are told to try a certain task, no matter who says it nor in what tone or tempo, you either: 1. Ignore 2. Say you will, then don't 3. Get defensive 4. Get cripplingly self-critical Certainly you can understand my frustration? "I want to do something different from what I'm doing now, but I'm unwilling to do things differently." This is what you say to us here, time and time again. I cannot believe, to this day, that you had the incredible nerve to use your being suicidal as a rebuttal to another poster. I trying to be careful with my words right now because I have very little sympathy for that behavior. Clearly you are suffering. I am not minimizing this. You need to do some things, even if you predict they'll fail, or you'll fail at them. (You know the scientific method, right?) Force yourself to do something new and unfamiliar that you won't be good at and will be sometimes uncomfortable and that you might get judged for. You have to, or your posts from 2013 will still be looking like your posts from 2009. This includes trying online dating. This includes getting a friend and going out to bars and approaching strangers. This includes talking to strangers in your day to day life. This includes holding this girl of yours's hand, or putting on a movie and pulling her into your arms to cuddle, or you not hanging out with her anymore when she keeps telling you she only wants you as a friend. If you're not trying something 3-4 times a week (if not every day), you're not doing anything to solve your problem, and you may as well be complaining to your wall. It's like that where George does the opposite of everything he usually does and gets a girlfriend and a job with the Yankees. If you catch yourself saying "No", "It's too hard", "There's no point", that means you should do it. You say "there's no point" way too often -- the real problem is that there's no point in doing anything if you think there's no point. You're not the only person who has this kind of reaction to things. I have it, too. I think everyone does. Today, I was thinking about trying a new weightlifting routine. Part of the routine is , which frankly, I'm afraid of doing. My first instinct was to try and find alternatives to doing the clean that would hit the same muscles. But I caught myself, and I've since scheduled clean practice in, two days from now. I could have figured out an alternative, but why? I would be purposefully holding myself back, out of fear. I know that I am not the first person to write a post like this. I suspect you will not listen, and you will not make real plans to do things you've never done before. But despite all evidence to the contrary, I am trying anyway, because that is the only available way to move things forward.
Author somedude81 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Teknoe, We had a phone conversation on Monday evening. She told me that she wanted to be back at home on Tuesday by six because her mom was making chili and she didn't want to miss it. I expressed my displeasure of her always having something come up where she can't spend the evening with me. Then she said something like, "you could come over for dinner." Does that clear things up for you? Somedude, I have to say, trying to find ways to help you has been an aggravating experience. Huh, where does this come from? Because I don't want to approach random women on the street or in bars? Sorry I have no interest in doing cold approaches. This includes holding this girl of yours's hand, or putting on a movie and pulling her into your arms to cuddle,My plan was to put on a movie and cuddle! See what I wrote earlier to explain why that didn't happen. Holding hands is something else I don't want to do until I've had some intimacy with her.
Teknoe Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Somedude, I have to say, trying to find ways to help you has been an aggravating experience. Time and again you get the same advice, but when it comes down to it, you keep insisting that you're right or that you had no choice but to do what you did, even though what you are doing is not working. When you are told to try a certain task, no matter who says it nor in what tone or tempo, you either: 1. Ignore 2. Say you will, then don't 3. Get defensive 4. Get cripplingly self-critical Certainly you can understand my frustration? I get your frustration, welikeincrowds. I recently was exposed to somedude, and started out really really rooting for him. Now I'm just a little aggravated myself. I'm seeing that he's often ignoring the good advice out there, or says he will do it, but then retreats to his old habits. http://www.iloveulove.com/psychology/selfsabotage.htm People who say he isn't the problem and that she is, is fooling themselves. It's clearly a case of self-sabotage, and that falls on somedude's shoulders, not this crush of his. somedude, read that link there, and let the content and truth of the article germinate in your heart.
Teknoe Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Teknoe, We had a phone conversation on Monday evening. She told me that she wanted to be back at home on Tuesday by six because her mom was making chili and she didn't want to miss it. I expressed my displeasure of her always having something come up where she can't spend the evening with me. Then she said something like, "you could come over for dinner." Does that clear things up for you? Hmm I see. That is definitely different from a formal invite. It sounded more like a pity invite... not something she discussed with her parents before hand. BTW, I can't believe she actually told you she wanted to be home by 6 because her mom's cooking chili and she didn't want to miss it. Sorry, but that is a little weird.... she's 21, not 11. Sorry to say, but I think this is a lost cause. Better luck next time. She's simply not attracted to you. If she were, she wouldn't ditch you for her mama's chili.
Author somedude81 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Yeah it was a pity invite more than a formal thing. Which is why I declined it. I'm not going to worry about why she would have preferred to have chili then spend the evening with me. So she let me pick the time to meet up so I wouldn't feel cheated. Not attracted to me? I thought that's already been established.
Teknoe Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Yeah it was a pity invite more than a formal thing. Which is why I declined it. Yeah I get that. Still, there's something to be said about this life mantra: "50% of life is just showing up." The more you show up to different events, even if they may not seem favorable to the naked eye at first, the more you will grow, one way or another. After all, you can learn just as much, IF NOT MORE, from a negative experience as you can from a positive one.
bac Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) I think you might try to use her female's instincts. Female's instinct is looking for love and attachment. Men's instinct is looking for sex. It is hard to resist instincts. She can easily say 'no' to sex but she cannot say 'no' to love if she really believes that it is true love. Take it slow, so, she would believe that her dream finally comes true and a man falls in love with her If you present all the romantic information slowly, comfortable, indirectly, using hints, she will figure out that you are in love with her. She will believe that it is about love but it is not about sex. After she gets used to idea that you are in love with her, you might be more direct and let her know that you love her and you are her humble servant who would do anything for her. In other words, let her know slowly that she is the most beaitiful girl you have ever met, that everything about her is so special for you, that you would do anything for her, that she is wonderful/perfect to you and other stuff like that. Let her know that are totally in love with her. Let her know that your relationship is all about beautiful love. It is not about sex at all !!! But, because she is so beautiful and special, so you can not help kissing and hugging her. When she believes that you are really in love with her, she is going to fall in love with you too. When she is in love with you, she would do anything including sex for you because you are the special man for her. Just take it slow matching her responses and her emotional comfort. She should be emotionally comfortable all the time if you want to make it right. Don't be shy, the romantic stuff sounds very crazy to males but it sounds different to females. They want love as much as you want sex. Edited July 14, 2011 by bac
tman666 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I think you might try to use her female's instincts. Female's instinct is looking for love and attachment. Men's instinct is looking for sex. It is hard to resist instincts. She can easily say 'no' to sex but she cannot say 'no' to love if she really believes that it is true love. Take it slow, so, she would believe that her dream finally comes true and a man falls in love with her If you present all the romantic information slowly, comfortable, indirectly, using hints, she will figure out that you are in love with her. She will believe that it is about love but it is not about sex. After she gets used to idea that you are in love with her, you might be more direct and let her know that you love her and you are her humble servant who would do anything for her. In other words, let her know slowly that she is the most beaitiful girl you have ever met, that everything about her is so special for you, that you would do anything for her, that she is wonderful/perfect to you and other stuff like that. Let her know that are totally in love with her. Let her know that your relationship is all about beautiful love. It is not about sex at all !!! But, because she is so beautiful and special, so you can not help kissing and hugging her. When she believes that you are really in love with her, she is going to fall in love with you too. When she is in love with you, she would do anything including sex for you because you are the special man for her. Just take it slow matching her responses and her emotional comfort. She should be emotionally comfortable all the time if you want to make it right. Don't be shy, the romantic stuff sounds very crazy to males but it sounds different to females. They want love as much as you want sex. This sounds like a great way to become an emotional tampon and never, ever get anywhere romantically. Sorry to be so abrasive, but I've never seen a woman/girl go for a guy who acted this way.
Queen Zenobia Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 This sounds like a great way to become an emotional tampon and never, ever get anywhere romantically. Sorry to be so abrasive, but I've never seen a woman/girl go for a guy who acted this way. That's exactly what I thought. If anything, he needs to move quicker than he did with this girl.
Dust Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 That's exactly what I thought. If anything, he needs to move quicker than he did with this girl. He needs to move a lot quicker and cut all the crap. Telling a guy who has known a girl going on years and not so much as hugged her to take it slow is pointless. Only Somedude can help somedude. We all tell him to make a move, big moves like kissing her. What does he do? He talks to her about hugs, and whines about her never being able to do stuff at night. At this point if he just had the balls to walk away and try with some one else that would be a big improvement. He needs to one 1) make moves on this girl, like hand holding, kissing etc. He needs to make such bold moves that she has no choice but to dump him or go forward. 2) If she keeps rejecting even after making moves but is still willing to string him a long he needs to forget her and go after other girls. Making it clear that he is moving on does two things it helps him move on to new girls if she is never going to happen. It also works to make her see he is not going to wait around for ever so that in itself the fear of losing him may work where everything else failed.
Queen Zenobia Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 He needs to move a lot quicker and cut all the crap. Telling a guy who has known a girl going on years and not so much as hugged her to take it slow is pointless. Only Somedude can help somedude. We all tell him to make a move, big moves like kissing her. What does he do? He talks to her about hugs, and whines about her never being able to do stuff at night. At this point if he just had the balls to walk away and try with some one else that would be a big improvement. He needs to one 1) make moves on this girl, like hand holding, kissing etc. He needs to make such bold moves that she has no choice but to dump him or go forward. 2) If she keeps rejecting even after making moves but is still willing to string him a long he needs to forget her and go after other girls. Making it clear that he is moving on does two things it helps him move on to new girls if she is never going to happen. It also works to make her see he is not going to wait around for ever so that in itself the fear of losing him may work where everything else failed. Yeah you can't move much slower than molasses going uphill. I think he needs to make quicker moves so he can discern whether or not these women are worth his time to invest in. I mean this one in particular strikes me as very odd. She was alone with him at his place having a drink and nothing happened. Women have physical needs too; if my fiance had done that after I had known him for months (going on "quasi-dates") I'd have jumped his bones, not gonna lie. Somedude should just cut his losses and go.
bac Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Sorry to be so abrasive, but I've never seen a woman/girl go for a guy who acted this way. You do not have to be so excessive and you can choose to be romantic in moderation and reasonable. As for 'you have never seen a girl who would go for a romantic love', men in the past used either the romantic approach or money to get what they want. They had never expected that they would offer just sex and a girl would go for that. The romantic approach is used in other countries these days as well but not in the US. All the men used the romance to get laid because it works out well but not because they enjoyed spending their time talking about love/BS. If they were able to get laid without washing girls' brains and spending a lot of money, they would definitely do it.
Author somedude81 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 She can easily say 'no' to sex but she cannot say 'no' to love if she really believes that it is true love. Take it slow, so, she would believe that her dream finally comes true and a man falls in love with her But I don't know if it is her dream to have a man fall in love with her. Let her know that are totally in love with her. Let her know that your relationship is all about beautiful love. It is not about sex at all !!! That's being dishonest. Of course I want to have sex with her. Just take it slow matching her responses and her emotional comfort. She should be emotionally comfortable all the time if you want to make it right. That's actually what I've been doing but I want to speed things up a bit. I know she is becoming more comfortable with me, but I don't know how much further I have to go before I can start being affectionate with her. He talks to her about hugs, and whines about her never being able to do stuff at night. He needs to one 1) make moves on this girl, like hand holding, kissing etc. He needs to make such bold moves that she has no choice but to dump him or go forward. One step at a time. I don't think I have a good chance of kissing her if she won't let me hug her yet. Though I could bring it up in conversation and see how she feels about kisses. I really have no intention of walking away till other girls are on the horizon. I think he needs to make quicker moves so he can discern whether or not these women are worth his time to invest in. I mean this one in particular strikes me as very odd. She was alone with him at his place having a drink and nothing happened. Women have physical needs too; if my fiance had done that after I had known him for months (going on "quasi-dates") I'd have jumped his bones, not gonna lie. Oh, she is odd. There's no doubt about that. Also I don't know if she has physical needs. Would a female virgin have the need to get laid? If she does, would she understand what it is?
Queen Zenobia Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I really have no intention of walking away till other girls are on the horizon. Oh, she is odd. There's no doubt about that. Also I don't know if she has physical needs. Would a female virgin have the need to get laid? If she does, would she understand what it is? Well, "walking away" implies completely avoiding her. If you care about her you probably shouldn't just drop her like a hot tamale. But, my advice to you (like it or not) is to actively seek other women, key word being "actively". Don't wait for her, you could be waiting until Hell freezes over. And as for physical needs, obviously everyone has a different sex drive, some higher some lower. But in general if you put two young people together in such an environment when there is a clear interest, things kinda just happen sometimes. Not always sex necessarily, but I mean she didn't even want to hug or kiss you, that's kind of weird. Is she from a different culture perhaps? One where women are more reserved about physical intimacy?
Els Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Just my hunch that her having 'plans in the evening' all the time when she comes to visit you is her way of setting a platonic boundary. But perhaps you knew it already. Have you ever confessed, directly, to being in love with her, OP? Sorry if I happened to miss it from before.
Els Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 You do not have to be so excessive and you can choose to be romantic in moderation and reasonable. As for 'you have never seen a girl who would go for a romantic love', men in the past used either the romantic approach or money to get what they want. They had never expected that they would offer just sex and a girl would go for that. The romantic approach is used in other countries these days as well but not in the US. All the men used the romance to get laid because it works out well but not because they enjoyed spending their time talking about love/BS. If they were able to get laid without washing girls' brains and spending a lot of money, they would definitely do it. Lol. Very true, actually. It's only on these boards that I've ever heard of men purporting to immediately kiss a girl and try to make out with her before even speaking of romantic feelings with her. I do think that the better men amongst them actually mean the lovey-dovey stuff though, and are not just BSing. But I have no doubt that sex is also on their mind, yes, simply that they do not think it a suitable thing to press before a relationship even occurs.
tman666 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 To set the record straight, not once have I ever said or even implied that a guy should just go a try to immediately kiss a girl. What I'm talking about is the notion that a guy should wait a long ass time to slowly reveal his feelings to a girl and "match" her emotional responses. Maybe I interpreted that incorrectly, but I've seen guys (hell, I've been that guy) try that approach and get nothing in return but a sense of bitterness. It's a waste of time. To me, that's an extremely pussy approach to dating. Girls already have one pussy; they don't need another one. There's nothing wrong with being romantic and gentlemanly. Forcing a kiss when there's obviously no chemistry is not being gentlemanly, romantic, or smart. However, the guy needs to be able to clearly communicate to her his reasons for hanging out with her, be it as a friend or as a romantic interest.
Dust Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I don't think I have a good chance of kissing her if she won't let me hug her yet. Though I could bring it up in conversation and see how she feels about kisses. I really have no intention of walking away till other girls are on the horizon. You should just try to kiss her even though you think it won’t work. Talking about kissing is pretty lame. Having a conversation about hugs is also pretty lame so I’m sure you will have a talk about kissing instead of just trying. You need to be willing to 1) try 2) walk away. You are capable of neither so you are at the mercy of any woman who happens to show you attention. Good job! Only you can fix all this and teach yourself. You have to be willing to fail. Because right now you’re failing just by forfeit. You forfeit because you refuse to try.
Author somedude81 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Well, "walking away" implies completely avoiding her. If you care about her you probably shouldn't just drop her like a hot tamale. But, my advice to you (like it or not) is to actively seek other women, key word being "actively". Don't wait for her, you could be waiting until Hell freezes over. I'm going to start pursuing other girls when the fall semester starts. I always meet a few girls that I'm interested in during class or club activities. Until then, there is no reason to start avoiding her. And as for physical needs, obviously everyone has a different sex drive, some higher some lower. But in general if you put two young people together in such an environment when there is a clear interest, things kinda just happen sometimes. Not always sex necessarily, but I mean she didn't even want to hug or kiss you, that's kind of weird. Is she from a different culture perhaps? One where women are more reserved about physical intimacy? Honestly I don't know if she likes me or not. For all I know she could have zero attraction to me and just see me as a friend. My interest in her is clear but I don't know about her. Also I have very little experience with girls and I'm not really comfortable with making moves. Me not really trying anything is probably a good reason why nothing has happened. Just my hunch that her having 'plans in the evening' all the time when she comes to visit you is her way of setting a platonic boundary. But perhaps you knew it already. That is a possibility. Though so far her reasons have seemed somewhat valid to me. Though one thing we have talked about is going to a movie in the park event and those take place in the evening. What I need to do is plan an activity where we have some down time and are able to talk for a bit. I'm trying to arrange a beach picnic for this weekend or next. Have you ever confessed, directly, to being in love with her, OP? Sorry if I happened to miss it from before. I have not talked about love yet. I could be in love with her but it's not something I'm willing to admit/accept until I know she has some interest in me. Most likely I won't say it to her until after I've kissed her. Though she does know that I really like her and that I want to date her.
Author somedude81 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 You should just try to kiss her even though you think it won’t work. Talking about kissing is pretty lame. Having a conversation about hugs is also pretty lame so I’m sure you will have a talk about kissing instead of just trying. Actually I have an idea how to do it. I can guide a conversation to kissing. Then I'll either ask her when the last time she kissed somebody was or if she's ever kissed anybody. I'll give my response to her answer, then lean in close and tell her she's beautiful and to close her eyes. That should be fine.
Star Gazer Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Actually I have an idea how to do it. I can guide a conversation to kissing. Then I'll either ask her when the last time she kissed somebody was or if she's ever kissed anybody. I'll give my response to her answer, then lean in close and tell her she's beautiful and to close her eyes. That should be fine. Please don't do this.
Dust Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I'm going to start pursuing other girls when the fall semester starts. I always meet a few girls that I'm interested in during class or club activities. Until then, there is no reason to start avoiding her. I think its great that you have the opportunity to meet hot college chicks once the semester starts back up and of course you should try and date them if you are single. The thing is you are 30 years old you can’t just wait for semesters to start your entire life. Even when I was young that time out of school was great to start some summer lovin. The time is now go after women now maybe mix it up a little by not always waiting for the semester. To rely and wait on school is just a disaster for you though. It’s your excuse to waist every vacation. Good job. Honestly I don't know if she likes me or not. For all I know she could have zero attraction to me and just see me as a friend. My interest in her is clear but I don't know about her. Also I have very little experience with girls and I'm not really comfortable with making moves. Me not really trying anything is probably a good reason why nothing has happened. That is a possibility. Though so far her reasons have seemed somewhat valid to me. Though one thing we have talked about is going to a movie in the park event and those take place in the evening. What I need to do is plan an activity where we have some down time and are able to talk for a bit. I'm trying to arrange a beach picnic for this weekend or next. You don’t know if she likes you or not? Could you imagine if you had a friend who you had known for going on years and you didn’t know if they were your friend or not. Seriously don’t expect her to make any moves. She’s a girl, and more inexperienced then you so really this stuff is a heck of a lot scarier for you. Take what ever fear you have about making a move and multiply it by 10. Seriously she doesn’t have testosterone levels like I’m guessing you do pushing her to make a move. You need to make some moves. If you try to kiss her and try to sexually touch her and she seems to like it you have your answer. If she doesn’t want you to do it but keeps spending a lone time you keep trying and if she never gets comfortable you just end it. Take some power back. Don’t be some doormat. If I dated this girl I would have probably been making out with her by the third date or been long gone. You’ve had plenty of opportunities. So go ahead set up one more date like activity. It’s up to you to go ahead and try and kiss her. Just trying to kiss her even if she ducks out of the way will communicate a lot more then any conversation ever will. Even if she ducks out of the way you should try again if she is still willing to hang out. When you try again she maybe ready and waiting for it. So go ahead keep on going. Just realize that if some guy like me finds this girl he won’t be so slow and you won’t be hanging out with her much longer. That’s a lot more painful then trying and failing, or trying and giving up because its going no where. I have not talked about love yet. I could be in love with her but it's not something I'm willing to admit/accept until I know she has some interest in me. Most likely I won't say it to her until after I've kissed her. Though she does know that I really like her and that I want to date her. She knows you like her. I don’t think she knows you have the balls to make a move. Women are often surprised and turned on by seeing a mans desire. You’ve done a great job hiding that though. Talking about wanting a hug or kiss is just awkward. Go for it. I think you are obsessed with this girl and possibly believe you’re in love. It’s very naïve to feel this way about some one you’ve never even kissed. You two have such walls between you that you’re not even sure of if she likes you or not. Break those walls down and go for something and make a move already. Also be willing to walk away that will answer many questions too. Some one who isn’t willing to walk away appears to be a doormat. That is the definition of doormat. They stick around and ask for more no matter what. Girls hate doormats. Doormats finish last.
Queen Zenobia Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Please don't do this. This might be the first time I've agreed with you on this thread, but you're 100% right. Somedude, just follow the KISS principle. Yes, pun intended.
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