JamieLeigh514 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I have such a hard time dealing with my boyfriend being a drinker, since I am a recovering alcoholic. I hate the fact that drinking is the prime source of entertainment between him and his friends. I cannot stand it anymore. I just don't think I have the strength to break up with him. I'm not even sure if that is what I should do. I always feel like I would be so much better off if I had a boyfriend who did not drink at all. But, most likely there would be other problems to substitute for the drinking issue. I hate this. I wish no one in the world drank alcohol so I would feel more like I fit in. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 I have had a lot of friends of both genders who don't drink. I do drink - though very rarely and never to get drunk or even close - but I've found that more and more people aren't drinking at all. Link to post Share on other sites
spencer Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 for over 10 years i didn't drink. order a seltzer with a splash of cranberry and a wedge of lime. it looks like a drink and you don't have to explain why your not a drinker. i see more AA in your future. is 85 meetings in 4 days unrealistic? Im sorry,I know it must be hard, but not everyone has a problem with alcohol. if you cant deal with a bf who drinks then you shouldn't. many men are in recovery, you fit in just fine. just mabye not this crowd . you need to find your own way Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 -- beware the man who never drinks for all of life is one heady intoxication -- Byron -- the problem with the rest of the world is that everyone is always 3 drinks behind me --- Clark Gable ( ? ) Apologies, don't mean to make light of your concerns. Personally I can't stand being around people who are getting drunk if I'm staying sober - b o r i n g. If you want to stay together insist that you do activities together which don't involve drinking and stay away when he's "out with the boys". However, if you're a recovering alcoholic and your boyfriends prime source of entertainment is drinking then I would think that your drifting apart will be inevitable. Link to post Share on other sites
corythosaurus Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 You say, I wish no one in the world drank alcohol so I would feel more like I fit in. And again, I always feel like I would be so much better off if I had a boyfriend who did not drink at all. But yet, I just don't think I have the strength to break up with him. I'm not even sure if that is what I should do. If drinking for you is a significant issue, which from what you describe it is, then take the step. You don't like alcohol and you don't want to be around it as often as you currently are. Talk to your boyfriend, explain yourself and your situation, if he is the right man for you, he'll understand and support you. If he's not, you know the path to take. The toughest bath to take is typically the right one, but remember it always starts with the first step. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 There are PLENTY of people who don't drink. I only drink once a month, give or take. Link to post Share on other sites
mj108 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Wow! This totally sounds like my situation. I know how you feel....it's definetly not fun being around people who are drunk and you're the one sober. Open up and talk to him and tell him how you feel...that's what I did and I got my answer. If he's not going to chill out and he's putting drinking #1 and not you, then the best thing to do is get out or he'll just drag you down. I know it's hard, if you decide to leave. That's what I'm going through right now....but more importantly...try to stay positive. Don't blame yourself for trying to do what's right for you and what's best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielStephen Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 well...i decided to quit drinking because i lost my only love that i ever wanted to have in my life. although it was too late maybe it'll help me in the future. just wanted to let a certain someone know that. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Hmm. A recovering alcoholic should not be around people who drink, I should think. However, it is up to you to determine what you consider to be comfortable. I, myself, am very nearly three entire months sober Just stick with it. It isn't wrong to not drink, and the decision that you have made for yourself to become sober is admirable. And you know what? I, personally, like it when people ask me if I want to go to a party, or to a bar to go drinking... And I can respond, "Sorry, man. You know I'm sober, right? Almost three months!", triumphantly. Link to post Share on other sites
danny g Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 thing is...you said you have friends that ask you to go to a bar and hang out. what's wrong with goign to the bar and being around your friends and playing darts and shooting pool and drinking a sprite or a coke? i've done it so far and not had a problem with it. i think that sometimes people believe that because they don't drink that they cannot hang out at a bar because of the atmosphere around them. personally i think that's a cop-out. for the people who cannot be around alcohol just simply say so. if you say that you "were" an alcoholic and no longer are or are a recovered alcoholic then say you don't want to be around it. but please don't lose the opportunity to go out and have a good time with your friends because they went to a place with alcohol and you can't deal with it. just go and have a good time and drink something non-alcoholic. i actually tried it the other night and my friend said "are you serious...i feel like such a jackass ordering a sprite" and i said yeah...sorry man, i'm not drinking. and he understood and let it go. hope you have people around you like that. it's a lot easier when your friends don't push you and even easier when they understand. sorry for dragging this out but i guess i just wish i knew all of this earlier. good luck with all of your hopes and dreams. thank you for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamieLeigh514 Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 This is pretty gay. I wrote all of that **** a long time ago... in my mind. Things have changed since then. I've realized a lot in my life. Major lesson number 1: Don't date an alcoholic and don't hang around with drunks all of the time. Living with an alcoholic father was a very difficult thing to grow up with. Seeing a mother cry is painful for a child. Seeing a mother freak out at a drunken father is also painful for a child. These things don't just get shrugged off by the innocent and open-minded child. They get sucked into the consciousness of a child who then becomes an adult child of an alcoholic. This adult goes through life searching for the answers to finding happiness... just like every human being on Earth. The only problem is that the dysfunctional-minded child has grown into an adult and the mind is filled with fear, many different fears and on many different levels. Relationships are hard to begin with. Maybe it's because some things just aren't meant to be. Maybe there is a plan already laid out for everyone. Maybe the future is not all about choices. If something just isn't working, there may be a major reason for it... it's time to end. Nothing lasts forever. Misery and fear do not have to be the major emotions in a person's life. Happiness and laughter are the things to strive for in life. We all have our own ways of finding joy. I'm gonna go my own way. Jamie Leigh Daniel, I hope your days may be filled with laughter. May you always be so kind, you with your kind eyes. May you always have joy and love with many. Love, Me Link to post Share on other sites
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