Muzzy2003 Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Its the same issue over and over again...I feel insecure about the relationship. he doesn't shoe or expresses how he feels. we have been together for six months and have had this issue since our first month. I want to love someone and i want to be loved myself. He doesn't love me and isn't on that same level. thats fine. what bothers me is i feel that its going to stay like this forever. if thats the case, then why should i waste any more time. we spend so much time together. he practically lives at my house. i don't understand why he can't express his feelings to me or atleast make me feel good about the relationship. If he told me he loved me or atleast made me feel like he wasn't going anywhere, i know i wouldn't feel like this. hes a great guy and i love him to death, but i don't know how to get rid of my insecurities forever. i don't want this same issue coming up again next month. is there any way for me to feel secure about this relationship?
DiorAddict Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Girl....I felt like that when I first started going out with my ex...Well, 4 1/2 years later, NOTHING changed, and to make it worse, he has not contacted me at all since I broke up with him! He missed my birthday and everything. The bottom line is, if you are uneasy, go with your instincts. I wish I had listened to mine instead of forcing it and getting emotionally involved and inevitably emotionally hurt...but it's your call. You can take a chance and it just might work out, but remember if something's lacking, and you're not satisfied, you're settling and happiness is going to be an inconsistent factor in your relationship.
Author Muzzy2003 Posted April 23, 2004 Author Posted April 23, 2004 Yeah...see thats what i have been thinking too. If i don't feel right, then why keep it going? Already, I'm attatched to this guy. He really is a good guy and part of me feels like we can work it out just because i can really trust him and we are very open with eachother. its more or less on how deep we get with eachother. so i figured if i don't spend as much time with him (and i do spend alot), i won't take the relationship as serious as what i want it to be. Instead, i guess its almost like backing away and getting to his level and be where he is at at the relationship. its just when i see him or spend time with him, i don't want him to go...so he doesn't. but if i can control that, maybe i can some how get over this...what do you think?
DiorAddict Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 You are right. You do have some sort of control over the relationship, but is he staying because he doesn't want a confrontation? Some men will do anything to avoid a serious "relationship" conversation. And that's when things get grey. When I was in your position (I'm an Aries) it didn't matter what advice people gave me and how many times they said the same things. I did what I was going to do reguardless...There's a lesson to learn in every relationship, wether it be with a lover, a friend, or even a family member, and usually, the lesson is for you and will help you mature and become a better person all the while learning things about yourself you never knew, like what you want and don't want in a man or in a career. I say, play it by ear, and if things aren't where u want them to be in 2 years, let go girlie!! Keep me posted =) Ciao!
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