GivenUp0083 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 So it's been over 2 months since my gf dumped me because she wanted "a fairy tale love story" instead of me in which I was more than happy to let her pursue. I realized I don't necessarily feel like I WANT a relationship, but I am interested in meeting girls and having a fun summer. I asked a girl at a bar for her number saturday night. She was exceptionally attractive, not a girl I'd normally pursue, and these days I don't really "pursue" anyone. I was there for a friends' bday party, which was going to be my starter party before I did my real partying later that night with other friends. Somehow we were making just friendly discussion, played a little darts, flirted quite a bit, had some interesting conversation.....and I decided to leave to meet my friends. I went up to her, said "hey, I'm headin out, it was nice meeting you, and I'd really like to talk to you again sometime. Can I have your number?" She gave it to me (no surprise, women always give it out here in Chicago, the true test is if there answer it when you call). Anyway, I was at the sox game yesterday with a friend and I decided to text her, saying "hi, it's ____, how did the rest of your night go?" but I got no response. I still feel good about it. The reason this feels good is because I don't care. I used to get all over-analytical, worry about why she didn't respond or what did I do wrong, but I honestly somewhat expected this due to it happening a lot, and I know that I took a shot at a really attractive girl that I had a fun time talking to. I struck out, but so what, at least I manned up and did it. I knew I'd never see her again, I had nothing to lose, and I'm not all that gung-ho about going on another date anyway. As one of my best friends who is a little older and been through much worse (he's going through a divorce) told me: "At some point you become hardened, your heart gets beat on enough and you just don't care what happens anymore". It feels pretty good to finally be there. I'll continue to ask girls out when I feel it's right and if they say no then who seriously gives a rats ***? It's their problem they don't know a great guy when one crosses their path. It's even better knowing they can't touch you emotionally, I feel almost invincible now! That's my story. For those hurting right now, it may be hard to know how you'll feel in the future, but maybe this will help you gain perspective. Think of the pain you feel now as something that is going to make you stronger so that you won't have to go through this again.
mywreckedworld54 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 I kind of feel the same way about the hardened heart thing, except for I feel like I can never let anyone have my heart again, and it is hardened to where I DGAF about anything including myself, oh well life goes the F*$k on right?
Author GivenUp0083 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 I kind of feel the same way about the hardened heart thing, except for I feel like I can never let anyone have my heart again, and it is hardened to where I DGAF about anything including myself, oh well life goes the F*$k on right? Damn straight. DGAF is the perfect phrase to use for yourself in any of these situations. I will only give just enough to keep the other from walking away with the feeling that I'm not interested. I will only give a piece of myself after they've given it to me on their end and I will only give a fraction of what they give. I learned the hard way, there's people out there than can fake love, and you have to be ready and prepared for that.
radiodarcy Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 hahaha... old timer me just had to look up DGAF - - i like that glad to hear you've taken that approach GivenUp. just try not to let it keep you from letting in the people who really do want to be there for you. it's not always easy to sort them out but they are out there. i should take my own advice. i was at the pool this weekend and this guy i can't decide if i'm attracted to or not kept looking at me. it was mildly gratifying and uncomfortable at the same time. but i didn't get all worked up about it like i would have before. i just kept my nose in my book and ignored him. (i doubt it bothered him that much he was there with some other girl) i'm only just now starting to get myself back -- after restarting NC four months ago. i'd kind of like to hang onto that for awhile; and learn to appreciate me for me before jumping into a relationship with someone else. so for now, i'm going to hang out in DGAF mode
Recommended Posts