Nickelbee Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Ex met my sister in a different city by coincidence. Ex was talking about how busy she had been etc, seemed happy,, and told my sister to say hi to me (you really have to say hi to him- she said that with a lot of emphasis, according to my sister). I dont think i would have said something like to this to her family,just been nice of course...is this normal? Am i reading too much into it? I was top of he world until i heard this, put me sort of back a little. After a bad breakup,i cant really imagine telling my ex family if i met them " say a big hello to my ex" ... Any thoughts? It doesnt mean anying i guess, :confused:NC for 3 months +
Movingthrough Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Ex met my sister in a different city by coincidence. Ex was talking about how busy she had been etc, seemed happy,, and told my sister to say hi to me (you really have to say hi to him- she said that with a lot of emphasis, according to my sister). I dont think i would have said something like to this to her family,just been nice of course...is this normal? Am i reading too much into it? I was top of he world until i heard this, put me sort of back a little. After a bad breakup,i cant really imagine telling my ex family if i met them " say a big hello to my ex" ... Any thoughts? It doesnt mean anying i guess, :confused:NC for 3 months + This is always the question after a breakup, it seems to be very common for this to happen and im somewhat going through it right now. I think there is a little bit of guilt, so to ease that they try to do indirect communication. Plus in all reality, they still have some sort of feelings, most of the time the dumper doesnt "hate" the dumpee, it just didnt work out. My question was always why dont they just become an adult and say it to my face, even if it is something more "emotional". The reason they dont is because they dont want you to catch feelings again, or get the wrong idea. My number one question through my breakup has been "how can she say this and that but do nothing about it?", my ex still to this day will call me or message me being completely cool and laid back. The minute we start talking more, she throws something out there like "i miss you" or something along those lines.........then i dont hear from her for months. Most of the time dumpees have a justification on why they did it, but it doesnt mean they are free of pain or feelings. I said this the other day on here, but i know 100% my ex still has feelings for me, and while everything looks happy in love land with her new guy, she is still randomly texting me. Do i think she loves me? No. Am i waiting around for her? No. But one thing that isnt discussed a lot on here is that dumpers usually even if they dont show it have some sort of something that makes them do what they do. Your ex was trying to be nice and trying to bury the hatchet if thats the word. I would feel good knowing that you are still in her head, but dont think its going to magically work back out or something. Take it for what it is, someone trying to be mature.
smudge21 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 I always think it depends on the breakup. If you there was cheating involved, lying and betrayal, then when an ex does this it's best left ignored as it's nothing more than them trying off load some guilt, looking for a reaction or some forgiveness, but deep down, they don't really care and haven't changed - if they had, they'd be coming straight back to you! If however, the break up was mutual and just because the romance had died (or something similar), then I see this kind of action as someone just showing that they do still care. Not enough to come back but just that little bit and for that reason you should take it with a smile as it shows you did have an affect on their lives and they still think about you. Like I said though, it depends on how the break up was and how you are with her. Could there be a chance to be friends once all the feelings have gone? Would that be something you'd want? I wouldn't look too much into it or even react. Just carry on with no contact. If she did want to get back with you, then she'd get back with you.
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 It sounds like your ex was in a good mood & may have experienced a sort of emotional flash back, maybe. For instance, when two people have been separated for years sometimes & are with another SO but suddenly encounter a familiar stage taken out of context, like meeting your sister but in a different setting, they will often get wrapped up in a sort of emotional flash back, (not to be confused with a cognitive one). These are the times we will accidently use your ex's name in place of your current SO's. This awkward event snaps us back to the emotional moment. after nearly 10 years of marriage I referred to my current wife by my wife of more than 20 years name when I found myself talk to neighbors I hadn't seen for years,that had lived across the street from me & my ex years ago. One Christmas a couple of years ago my wife referred to me by her ex's name to someone. Knowing what I know about this I thought nothing of it. Now if she screamed his name out while we where making love I might feel differently... No, but I would tease the hell out of her for it & for a very long time:laugh: Bottom line after all my rambling here is; I wouldn't think too much of it at all, sorry.
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