Chitowngirl Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 So I have been seriously dating this guy for a month now. He ended a 15 year relationship 2 months ago. He still has up about 30 pictures of him and his ex around the house...about 5 in his bedroom. He is trying to sell his house and he said he doesn't want to have bare walls so that's why the pictures are still up. Yesterday he mentioned her pictures don't belong in his bedroom, so that was a nice small step.... Is this normal behavior, or is he still holding onto their memories? I find it bizarre.
KOH Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 one month? ONE MONTH? I think you're being ridiculous here, people don't even date exclusively after one month let alone demand pictures to be taken down. & he does have a point, he wants to sell his house, he shouldn't change anything just so you can feel secure.
dreamingoftigers Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Gosh, he shouldn't even be seriously dating this fresh out.
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) I was married for more than 20 years & when it ended her pictures where gone! And when I sold the house the real a state person suggested I remove personal pictures so prospects could more easily identify with living there than they might with someone else s pictures around. (I had a few family pictures around). But KOH is right, you haven't been seeing him that long. Pictures should be his choice right now, not yours. Also, if he is dating two months after ending a 15 year relationship I personally would not be investing in this as a long term relationship just yet. Edited July 11, 2011 by oldguy
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Gosh, he shouldn't even be seriously dating this fresh out. Hi DOT, nice to see you back:)
Author Chitowngirl Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 I was married for more than 20 years & when it ended her pictures where gone! And when I sold the house the real a state person suggested I remove personal pictures so prospects could more easily identify with living there than they might with someone else s pictures around. (I had a few family pictures around). But KOH is right, you haven't been seeing him that long. Pictures should be his choice right now, not yours. Also, if he is dating two months after ending a 15 year relationship I personally would not be investing in this as a long term relationship just yet. Ok thanks I have met his mother and his daughter, so I think this is more than a rebound...at least I hope.
elleorbianca Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 How can you seriously date someone who was only one month out of a 15 year relationship when you started dating? That's absolutely ridiculous. If you expect this to be anything more than a rebound, I suggest you back off for several months until he is not so raw.
Hot Chick Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 hmm, I think it is a good sign he removed the photos from the bedroom, and he did that without you prompting him. Everyone's assuming that he is "on the rebound" and still mourning the relationship with his ex, but if they were together for 15 years, there is a good possibility that he had already mourned the relationship and lost feeling a long time ago, possibly years. Maybe he's the one who ended it because he lost feeling for his ex. So I don't think it is way out there for him to want to date. He probably is ready to be with someone different who is possibly more suitable for him than his ex. As far as the photos, I think he doesn't think of them in an emotional way, just a part of his life. He should probably get rid of them but maybe it just hasn't occurred to him yet.
Star Gazer Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 How can you seriously date someone who was only one month out of a 15 year relationship when you started dating? That's absolutely ridiculous. If you expect this to be anything more than a rebound, I suggest you back off for several months until he is not so raw. Totally agree.
oldguy Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Ok thanks I have met his mother and his daughter, so I think this is more than a rebound...at least I hope. I would take it slow for awhile in any case. After 15 or 20+ years it is unlikely the girl he meets with in the first few months is going to result in a long term healthy relationship. If it does I would still be patient... & careful until he has had a chance to 'get over' the last relationship. Introducing you to his mom & daughter may just be self affirmation attempt to appear to be getting back to normal. Something that is as much for him as it is for his family. If someone where married for 15 years & their wife died would you be investing as heavenly in a relationship 2 months later. For all emotional purposes this is similar but worse. He has to go through the five stages of separation before he will be emotionally available. I'm not telling you it's hopeless but I am suggesting you have a long road ahead & to tread very carefully, please.
dreamingoftigers Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Hi DOT, nice to see you back:) Thank you, I'll be in and out over the next while. Lots of stuff to do and bodies to hide.
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