krifle04 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 I just sped home crying and couldn't get here fast enough to post. Background: BF of 2.5 years left me almost 6 weeks ago due to arguing and things getting stale (no flirting and fun, etc.). A few weeks later after I tried NC he told me he missed me and we had a discussion about being friends but I didn't want that because I knew he was interested in another girl. He tried to downplay her, saying they didn't hang out as much as I think they do and that she is his way of "getting over the fact that he LOST ME." (?!) Well, I said some harsh things to him, could tell I upset him, and then NC began for good. Just a few days later he was already with this new girl. As the days went by I got worse and I texted him a few days ago. He didn't respond which surprised me because he was the one begging me to be friends. I cried for 2 hours. It was bad. 2 days later he texts me "How are you doing?" I didn't respond. (This was 3 days ago now) TODAY, my parents were renewing their wedding vows. I texted him to basically tell him it was a bad idea for him to come, but I assumed he already had decided not to anyway. (He had been planning on coming despite the breakup) I sobbed throughout the entire ceremony. Not just for my parents and their happiness, but thinking about the fact that I think the things I said to my ex that one night pushed him away forever and into the arms of another girl. I desperately feel like calling him tonight and saying "I didn't mean it when I said I hated you. Is it too late? Have I pushed you away forever?" (We're both 20, been out of high school for a while now, and the girl he is now seeing is STILL in hs :/) I need to be stopped. But everyday I feel a little worse. Not better. I just want my love back.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 I just sped home crying and couldn't get here fast enough to post. Background: BF of 2.5 years left me almost 6 weeks ago due to arguing and things getting stale (no flirting and fun, etc.). A few weeks later after I tried NC he told me he missed me and we had a discussion about being friends but I didn't want that because I knew he was interested in another girl. He tried to downplay her, saying they didn't hang out as much as I think they do and that she is his way of "getting over the fact that he LOST ME." (?!) Well, I said some harsh things to him, could tell I upset him, and then NC began for good. Just a few days later he was already with this new girl. As the days went by I got worse and I texted him a few days ago. He didn't respond which surprised me because he was the one begging me to be friends. I cried for 2 hours. It was bad. 2 days later he texts me "How are you doing?" I didn't respond. (This was 3 days ago now) TODAY, my parents were renewing their wedding vows. I texted him to basically tell him it was a bad idea for him to come, but I assumed he already had decided not to anyway. (He had been planning on coming despite the breakup) I sobbed throughout the entire ceremony. Not just for my parents and their happiness, but thinking about the fact that I think the things I said to my ex that one night pushed him away forever and into the arms of another girl. I desperately feel like calling him tonight and saying "I didn't mean it when I said I hated you. Is it too late? Have I pushed you away forever?" (We're both 20, been out of high school for a while now, and the girl he is now seeing is STILL in hs :/) I need to be stopped. But everyday I feel a little worse. Not better. I just want my love back. You two are young. You have your whole lives ahead of you. You're most likely going to meet and date several people throughout your lifetime. I'm 28, going on 29. I've had about 3 or 4 long term relationships in the past 10 years (since I was about your age). None of these people were "the one" and I have yet to find that person. Your best bet is to go No Contact for good to move on and heal. He's gone now. Don't worry about whether you pushed him away or not because honestly, it really doesn't matter in the least. It isn't your fault. He left on his own accord, you didn't push him. He most likely would have left regardless of what you said or did. That is just the nature of relationships and how life works. You did nothing wrong. Think of this as the perfect opportunity to find that person who is "the one". We already know that your ex isn't him. Therefore, he has to be out there somewhere. If you were stuck with your ex, you'd be missing out on this great opportunity to find your knight in shinning armor. Besides, many of these windows of opportunity are only open for a limited amount of time once you find them. Now that you're single, one that person comes along, you can invite them in with open arms. Of course this is after you've healed fully. I hope I could help. Chin up hun.
Author krifle04 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Thank you. I don't have the urge to call him now, but I get it everyday, worse and worse. I just miss my best friend.
Legacy1 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Don't worry about whether you pushed him away or not because honestly, it really doesn't matter in the least. It isn't your fault. He left on his own accord, you didn't push him. He most likely would have left regardless of what you said or did. That is just the nature of relationships and how life works. You did nothing wrong. Couldn't have said it better! Hang in there!
TheHurtProcess Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Thank you. I don't have the urge to call him now, but I get it everyday, worse and worse. I just miss my best friend. It will feel worse at first, then after a couple of weeks you'll notice that you feel better and better everyday until one day you feel nothing at all when you think about them. It's all about re-adapting to being "you" all over again. I miss my friend too. But my friend, the person I fell in love with is dead and buried. The person I last talked to was nothing but a hollow shell of what she used to be and to be quite honest, I don't like that person anymore, but I miss my friend.
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