FlyMoon Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 I know many people have replied to my threads and I really do appreciate all the support given. After thinking over and over for weeks, and reading over those comments repeatedly, I decided to talk to him, thinking after all those we've gone through, (or more of what he's done to me) he would hear me out. So I texted him bc i wanted to meet up for a talk. This was 6th week of NC. "Hows everything" Guess what, ignored. (Maybe I should have just texted him saying that I want to talk?? Would that have made any difference -any guys view??) After an hour, For the first time ever, I logged onto the messenger and asa I did, he went offline hurriedly. Yea, that pretty much solidified it all. Now its just really sad bc I know even after years pass by, I would still have sosme feelings for him. He probably would never bc he never had any.
Exit Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Well... just try to take some positive from the negative, for those 6 weeks you probably held onto some secret hope that there would be contact in the future and good things would happen, and now you know that from this point forward you can let go of that last bit of hope. It doesn't matter if you said "how's everthing?" or "I'd like to talk", all that matters is that he didn't respond.
RIO5 Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Well if you had to talk to him, I would say its all about your approach. Time is money and nobody wants to be bothered by their ex if its gonna be a waste of time. Maybe you should have explained as to why you were contacting him...that would have helped out. But to randomly pop out of nowhere and ask 'hows everything'...wont get you the response that your looking for. If someone I wasnt talking to approached me in a serious manner, I would hear them out and give them a reply but that applies to all walks of life...not just ex girlfriends
EgoJoe Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 It's ok. I did it too on friday after 30 days...my reason was a little more self serving and she had responded to everything before etc. I didn't want to leave on bad terms 'cus of all the anger involved. Now you've learned. Walk away.
geegirl Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 If he wanted to talk, no matter what you texted, he would have entertained it or at least let the convo. stretch long enough to end it if he felt uncomfortable or fed it if he was on the same page as you're in.
Author FlyMoon Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Yea its just so unfair how I was always there for him to talk even after he made huge irrevocable mistakes. I gave him many chances bc he asked for it and apologized. Guess what, he wont even gonna hear me out for once. I really liked him and all he did was to USE me "FOR A LONG TIME" and then neglect me after all.
latexyankee Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 If he wanted to talk, no matter what you texted, he would have entertained it or at least let the convo. stretch long enough to end it if he felt uncomfortable or fed it if he was on the same page as you're in. ^ THIS, she nails it every time.
Author FlyMoon Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Well if you had to talk to him, I would say its all about your approach. Time is money and nobody wants to be bothered by their ex if its gonna be a waste of time. Maybe you should have explained as to why you were contacting him...that would have helped out. But to randomly pop out of nowhere and ask 'hows everything'...wont get you the response that your looking for. If someone I wasnt talking to approached me in a serious manner, I would hear them out and give them a reply but that applies to all walks of life...not just ex girlfriends Well I thought about telling him in the first text. but whenever he wanted to talk in previous BU, he texted me jusst like that claiming that he needs to know where he stands. So I thought that was what he would expect. And besides with him having treated me with such cruelty and disrespect, I didn't want to lete myself down anymore than initiating the contact to be honest. I dunno.....
geegirl Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 And besides with him having treated me with such cruelty and disrespect, I didn't want to lete myself down anymore than initiating the contact to be honest. I dunno..... Read this please. You realize that he was cruel and disrespectful to you. You are letting yourself down and doing yourself a great injustice by contacting him. Contacting him, no matter what you said, is you willingly, opening yourself to additional cruelty and disrespect from him. Stop pondering on the little stuff as to what you should have texted to entice a response. There is a bigger picture here Fly. Start realizing that this is an unhealthy person to pursue and a toxic situation to be in. Instead of going backwards, start going forwards by telling yourself you deserve much more than this.
RIO5 Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Well I thought about telling him in the first text. but whenever he wanted to talk in previous BU, he texted me jusst like that claiming that he needs to know where he stands. So I thought that was what he would expect. And besides with him having treated me with such cruelty and disrespect, I didn't want to lete myself down anymore than initiating the contact to be honest. I dunno..... Well, you can say that if he wanted to talk to you...he would talk to you. YES that is true! BUT UP TO A CERTAIN POINT. Its all about how you deliver your approach. Understand that he is your ex boyfriend. Understand that he would rather spend his time talking to someone else who is not going to cause any drama. Now, look at what you sent him: a very 'out of the blue' text message. A lot of people would look at that text message that you sent as a waste of time. Its like your bothering him for no reason at all. If its been a while since the two of you have talked, maybe you should go with a different approach. Try emailing him. Explaining as to why you are contacting him. If you do it in a mature, respectable manner then the chances of him replying back should be good. He would have to be one bitter S.O.B. to not reply back. If that's the case, keep your head high and walk away knowing that you have tried. Also, if the guy treated you like crap...why bother even going back?
Author FlyMoon Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Also, if the guy treated you like crap...why bother even going back? Well I guess he was just really manipulative PLUS I have very strong feeling for him. Always believed/hoped maybe this time it will be different.. Never had the good moments but always being used, arguments that ensued from me confronting such issues etc etc... If I ever had any good memory then I think I can really negate the anger and frustration or whatever feeling I have right now... I really need that good moment to not hate him for the rest of my life - hating obviously requires energy and time, hence I do not want to do that FOR myself..
Author FlyMoon Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Read this please. You realize that he was cruel and disrespectful to you. You are letting yourself down and doing yourself a great injustice by contacting him. Contacting him, no matter what you said, is you willingly, opening yourself to additional cruelty and disrespect from him. Stop pondering on the little stuff as to what you should have texted to entice a response. There is a bigger picture here Fly. Start realizing that this is an unhealthy person to pursue and a toxic situation to be in. Instead of going backwards, start going forwards by telling yourself you deserve much more than this. I know you wrote many comments for me which are extremely helpful and Ill have to admit that they are very true. I am aware of the reality too.. I have been deceived to believe that things will change and now I still have the slightest hope that maybe this time willl be different....which probably wont be..sigh.
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