mavislwf Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Please help. My spouse and I went through something similar about 6 yrs ago and almost divorced as a result. We worked it out and now it is starting all over again and I am literally sick over it. Husband thinks he was "called" by God to be a pastor. I think not, b/c I know him deep down and he is very gullible (sounds mean I know but is TRUE). The pastor of our VERY small church asks my spouse to preach when he is away. Fine. But when spouse does, it takes up all of his spare time and he ignores me more so than he normally does (I get that the latter is also an issue, BTW). Also the sermon sounds "canned" if that makes sense (listen to any sermon online with lots of blaring music and folks "falling out" for the Lord at the same time and you may see what I am getting at). Since the last "episode" of our near divorce, we have had 2 children. This makes it even harder for me to leave. I am so sick and tired of talking to him. If I vent about ANYTHING, instead of getting the usual "I know, I am mad/frustrated/sad/mad too response, he asks me to open my bible and read scripture with him. It's worse than it was before. I just want my HUSBAND to talk to me like I am his wife, and not preach to me. I have had other people in his family tell me (without telling them any of this info, BTW) the same thing. They feel like they are getting preached at when all they need is an understanding ear. I am Christian. However I am not as "dogmatic." The sermon he gave today really upset me, demanding that everyone needs to sing loudly at church when the praise and worship part of the service comes about, and that if you don't you aren't right with God. I do try to sing when I know the songs but come on, just because someone doesn't convulse on the floor during the singing doesn't mean you are not a Christian. I have told him all of my feelings in a very assertive manner over and over, without arguing with him. I don't expect him to change because of how I feel. However, he just clams up and gets more absorbed in the "Word of God" instead of dealing with me/our issues. When we almost divorced based on the last instance of too much church, he agreed with me that he was spending too much time there (no joke, worked 8-5, then went to church after work unitl 10 or 11, six days a week). Now he is talking about starting all this other stuff within the church that will keep him busy at least 4-5 days a week. Sorry so long. I am so depressed about this. I can't even get into Christianity anymore because it is gotten to be too much.
Barrsitter Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 You're not the one who is lost. Your husband is. He is a church-nut...wanting to be there when the doors open until they close. Sorry...he's got his priorities screwed up. Here they are.... God Family (wife first, then children) Church Work In that order. I'm a born-again Believer but would never put up with this crap from any man. Either he participates in your marriage and learns how to love you and care for you and your feelings, or you walk. 1
Author mavislwf Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Thank you for your input, I needed that!!
Recommended Posts