Doefat04 Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 So I have not contacted her in over 3 months. About 3 weeks ago I texted her saying I would like to talk to you see how you are doing. She text me back short answers and I let it go. Yesterday I texted her saying are you doing anything tonight. She replied saying I don't think meeting is a good idea(because I used to go nuts) but that she's willing to hear me out. ...... right now I feel ok. My emotions are in check and I'm not going in with the expectation of being in a relationship again. I really want to apologize and tell her to her face that I understand why she broke up with me. I want to tell in detail all the things I hve noticed about me and why. You see I don't want to be the ex that is cliche and says baby I've changed I'm a new man. In essence its my last shot that I'm going to take. I realize that its more than likley not going to change anything but I'm going down fighting for this woman. Any opinions ? Or suggestions?
Exit Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Many people on the forums would tell you to just let it go, but the choice is yours, if you want to see what happens, go for it. Choose your words carefully, try not to be cliche like you said. I've been in contact with my ex for 3 months now, and I've said many things to her, but what appears to be one of the most effective things I've done recently was to give her a letter where I told her I wanted to give her "acknowledgement", letting her know that I understand why the relationship ended, and just because I've tried to change her mind or make her see things in a different light, I don't want her to interpret that as "you're stupid, nothing was wrong with our relationship, you're silly for ending it". Agreeing with the breakup is an important thing to do, if you really mean it, because your partner has a heart and a brain too, and they did care about you, and if they came to the tough decision to end what they had with you, you have to understand that it must have been very serious to them. So it comes across kind of insulting if you try to convince the person that they were wrong, or that the things they saw wrong in the relationship weren't really happening. Instead, take a path that says you agree with them and you respect what their heart and mind was telling them, but that your heart and mind still feels that there is a way to repair things. It can easily backfire though, if the ex is really determined that things are over, they'll just think "oh good, you agree with me leaving and you understand what our problems were, I'm happy you've realized it". This tactic can only really work with someone who still cares for you and is still questioning their decision. You just have to ask yourself if you can truly handle the rejection again. Don't lie to yourself and say "well I have nothing to lose, and if it doesn't work I'll be fine", and then find yourself trapped in your bed crying for the next two weeks. Don't do it if you aren't prepared for the consequences. At the very least, you did give this a lot of time and space, saying these things to someone after three months means a lot more than saying it 2 weeks after the breakup.
Author Doefat04 Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Wow thanks fo that reply. To answer your last remark, I do feel that I truly understand. I have also come to realize things are over. I'm not holding on to this meeting with my hopes up at all. In a way I feel as if it will either open up the oportunity to work my way back in or it will provide a final closure. I will be able to talk to her without the emotions, worrys and tears and maybe she will see this as my last straw. I can't be friends, its not possible. I can honestly say from the depths of my heart that this woman is everything to me. One thing I won't do is put her on a pedestal either that day. The conversation will be more about me than us.
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