Untouchable_Fire Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I'm a succesful general surgeon.. If that is the case, why have you not surgically implanted some morals? You have an unfair view of marriage. My husband and I relish making sweaty love to each other. After being a "bad girl" when I was single, I am done chasing men, because I found my prince. Not all women are the same. Ugh... And not all women are different . The proof is that they all do the same damn things and then say "I'm different". Marriage is not a good thing for men... it's a horrible institution and need to either be overhauled or completely trashed.
serial muse Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Telling him about physical cheating will ruin my image in front of my family and children. Im sticking to ' not in love anymore' line. Hate me.. Why are you assuming that if you tell your husband the truth it will affect your image in front of the rest of your family and your children? That doesn't really make sense. It sounds like the coward's way out. You're using your husband because you're afraid of people viewing you negatively - for your own choices. None of that is his fault, so cut it out and tell him the whole truth so that he can decide what's right for him, too. Why doesn't he get to make a decision based on all the relevant information? How is that fair? Don't coddle people by protecting them from things that they ought to know. So disrespectful and condescending.
nyrias Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Why are you assuming that if you tell your husband the truth it will affect your image in front of the rest of your family and your children? That doesn't really make sense. It sounds like the coward's way out. It makes perfect sense. Of course telling will change things. You don't think exposing the poster as a cheater will change how his family members view her? Not that i am saying that is not the right thing to do. It is a necessarily change. However, it is totally illogical to think that exposure will not change her image.
confusedinkansas Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I'll come back and post an update when I grow" balls " to choose my path to hell / heaven. Thanks again everyone! No advice but just an opinion. To me you seem like you already have balls. You're standing up to this crowd & not backing down on what it is you're after. What I get from this is that it's kinda sad that your husband won't let you go - but it also sounds like if he did, you wouldn't necessarily GO. I hope you find a happy medium in your life - soon. Living like this could really screw up a sista!!
rafallus Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 It makes perfect sense. Of course telling will change things. You don't think exposing the poster as a cheater will change how his family members view her? Not that i am saying that is not the right thing to do. It is a necessarily change. However, it is totally illogical to think that exposure will not change her image. And not telling has even crazier consequences. You can make an argument, that husband loves image of hers, which doesn't comply with reality. Is loving a person even possible, when you don't actually know her, or miss some information that potentially alters the image in a drastic way?
serial muse Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) It makes perfect sense. Of course telling will change things. You don't think exposing the poster as a cheater will change how his family members view her? Not that i am saying that is not the right thing to do. It is a necessarily change. However, it is totally illogical to think that exposure will not change her image. I am asking why telling her HUSBAND the truth would mean that the REST of the family and the CHILDREN have to know. That is a big assumptive leap. Her husband is the one who is entitled to that information, so that he can make an informed decision about divorce. Regardless, I agree that telling is necessary, whether it happens in private or whether the entire family, including third cousins, gets to sit down and be debriefed about the nefarious doings a la Hercule Poirot. It doesn't follow, however, that everyone absolutely needs to know. Only the husband. If what the OP fears is that her husband will reveal her affair to everyone else, then she'll have to deal with that if it arises. But let's not just assume that's what would happen. Edited July 13, 2011 by serial muse
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I started a thread under marriage and relationships but I think this is more appropriate . I made a list of things I like and dislike about my M and OM.. M 1)loves me 2) rich and successful 3)forgiving 4) gets along with my family, respectful 5) best dad 6) caring 7) honest 8) loyal 9) patient 10) puts family first Now things I don't like or are a problem now 1)overweight, bald and un attractive 2) doesn't turn me on at all( I compare him to OM otherwise he's fine) well its clear you stay with your H for purely selfish reasons that have nothing to do with respecting him. divorce him and let him find someone that doesn't use him. and you are in the infidelity section. I hope you aren't looking for understanding that you are in an affair. that would be the OW/OM section. oh you can post here if you like, but don't complain at the responses you get. i especially like the "overweight bald and unattractive". let me guess, you are just a goddess:rolleyes:
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Things that bother me 1) average income( my H makes 10 times more) so we can add gold digger to your list of wonderful traits 2) secretive ( keeps his phone locked and hides it when I want to look) and you of course are a completely open book with your husband right? 3) has a history of cheating on all his prior gfs uh, but you, ahem, are a cheater yourself. you don't get to complain about this. you and your OM are made for each other. look up the definition of the word "hypocrite" so spare your husband, divorce him and hook up with the OM.
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Telling him about physical cheating will ruin my image in front of my family and children. oh you've got to be kidding.
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I am selfish and I know he's a good guy. then divorce him. he doesn't know you are screwing another man, thats why he is holding on. leave him, file for divorce and do not take him to the cleaners. you've done enough to the poor guy.
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I'm a succesful general surgeon.. I highly doubt that
Memphis Raines Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 No advice but just an opinion. To me you seem like you already have balls. You're standing up to this crowd & not backing down on what it is you're after. ya, thats why she won't tell the truth because she doesn't want people to see her for what she really is. shes worried about her image. an image that is fake. but hey, here comes the Cheaters' Champion to the rescue!!!
dreamingoftigers Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 If that is the case, why have you not surgically implanted some morals? Or at least spell check. It is "successful." that kind of puts a little incision in your story. Ugh... And not all women are different . The proof is that they all do the same damn things and then say "I'm different". The day I share any of the same perspectives about marriage and family with the OP, just put me out of my misery. People like that, gender notwithstanding, cause far more damage to other people then they make up for, even if they are a "surgeon." Marriage is not a good thing for men... it's a horrible institution and need to either be overhauled or completely trashed. I think most people today, again gender notwithstanding, are so focused on themselves, how they alone feel, and what they can get, that they have less regard for any joint institution or venture. You just haven't married any men lately
OldOnTheInside Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Ugh... And not all women are different . The proof is that they all do the same damn things and then say "I'm different".Haha, while I don't exactly agree with everything you've said, I've heard that line a lot of times. I think most people today, again gender notwithstanding, are so focused on themselves, how they alone feel, and what they can get, that they have less regard for any joint institution or venture. You just haven't married any men lately We've always lived in a pretty me, me, me world. This isn't news. It just comes down to choosing your friends very carefully. Surround yourself with a**holes and you'll get covered in sh*t. And even though I try to keep the blind accusations to a minimum...this thread is perfect troll-bait. Edited July 14, 2011 by OldOnTheInside
confusedinkansas Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 ya, thats why she won't tell the truth because she doesn't want people to see her for what she really is. shes worried about her image. an image that is fake. but hey, here comes the Cheaters' Champion to the rescue!!! Aww......thanks Memphis. I have a title now. I'm honored! Even though I didn't come to her rescue. Just congratulating her for takin' on yall'....
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Really? I am cheating on my husband? :laugh: Thanks for telling me. I don't think a gold digger would stay with her husband while he was unemployed, but thank you for your sad attempt at lumping me in with the OP. It made me laugh. Did I say YOU were cheating? You read WAY too much into that. I simply said you are wrong in asserting that all women are completely unique. I would say there are major categories of personality/behavior types and some minor to insignificant variations within each category. The same is true of men. I think most people today, again gender notwithstanding, are so focused on themselves, how they alone feel, and what they can get, that they have less regard for any joint institution or venture. You just haven't married any men lately DOT.... I admire your perspective a lot. You are literally a better human being than I am. Your combination of compassion and strength always amazes me. I seriously hope that someday amazingly good things happen for you.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Aww......thanks Memphis. I have a title now. I'm honored! Even though I didn't come to her rescue. Just congratulating her for takin' on yall'.... Do you really enjoy being the wicked witch? I know you are thinking the enemy of my enemy is my friend.... but some friends are worse than enemies.
confusedinkansas Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Do you really enjoy being the wicked witch? Woah! Seriously? :eek:I'm hardly the Wicked Witch here. Just because I comment on someone that's had an affair with more class & tact than some of the BS's here does not make me wicked. Commenting to HELP a WS does not make me wicked. Being a FORMER.......WS does not make me wicked either. Just for the record. Memphis has always picked at me. I was just thanking him for the title.
Koekie Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 OM things I like, 1) very good looking, perfect ripped body, 2) amazing in bed 3) patient 4) never loses his temper 5)intelligent Things that bother me 1) average income( my H makes 10 times more) 2) secretive ( keeps his phone locked and hides it when I want to look) 3) has a history of cheating on all his prior gfs Alice, a beautiful man is everyone's man. If you think you are the only girl in his life, think again. A man with nothing to hide does not hide his phone. I speak from personal experience here. Resign yourself to sharing him if you pick him.
Memphis Raines Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Do you really enjoy being the wicked witch? trust me, she knows what she's doing coming into the infidelity forum and defending them. she knows she will be ruffling feathers. thats why she makes it a point to do this.
rafallus Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 (edited) Woah! Seriously? :eek:I'm hardly the Wicked Witch here. Just because I comment on someone that's had an affair with more class & tact than some of the BS's here does not make me wicked. Commenting to HELP a WS does not make me wicked. Being a FORMER.......WS does not make me wicked either. Just for the record. Memphis has always picked at me. I was just thanking him for the title.Given your avatar (and the pic of Wicked Witch from OZ in your profile, I happened to check it out), I find that quite humorous. Your attemps to paint yourself as wicked, and thinly-veiled way to repel same affirmations from other posters, are pretty amusing, I must admit. Edited July 15, 2011 by rafallus
OldOnTheInside Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Given your avatar (and the pic of Wicked Witch from OZ in your profile, I happened to check it out), I find that quite humorous. Your attemps to paint yourself as wicked, and thinly-veiled way to repel same affirmations from other posters, are pretty amusing, I must admit. Eh, I dunno raf. When it comes to avatars, you are pulling the whole trollface shtick. And what the eff does my avatar say about me I wonder?
rafallus Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Eh, I dunno raf. When it comes to avatars, you are pulling the whole trollface shtick.Actually, it kinda fits in my case. I happen to troll sometimes, especially if person just refuses to listen, even though everyone tell him/her otherwise. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=287745 (and his whole history) Basically, a defense reaction instead of getting frustrated/outraged, as I would before.
OldOnTheInside Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Actually, it kinda fits in my case. I happen to troll sometimes, especially if person just refuses to listen, even though everyone tell him/her otherwise. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=287745 (and his whole history) Basically, a defense reaction instead of getting frustrated/outraged, as I would before. OG is also a troll though. A troll within a troll?
KathyM Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Oh, for crying out loud, divorce the guy. You've been unfaithful and are no longer attracted to him. Time to throw in the towel and file the papers. There is no such thing as your husband won't let you. If one person wants out, there is nothing the other can do to prevent it.
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