Tafari Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Hey guys, I didn't really know what to do and just really needed some advice. I recently found out that my now ex-girlfriend had been hanging out regularly at some guys house when we were doing long distance. I had been at University for the year and she was at home. We were struggling with distance but I was coming home when she told me and I said just wait till we get home and we can talk about things. She kind of wanted to break it off but we both couldn't do it as we loved each other so much. She sent me a facebook message after the chat saying she loved me so much but then a few days later, a few days before i came home she phoned me up and broke it off. I said lets wait until we get home and then we can talk about it but was adiment it was over though she told me she loved me a few days earlier. Unfortuneatly she left her facebook logged on when she came to see me recently and found out she had been messaging this guy and going over his place. Another conversation to someone else and she was calling him her boyfriend!! days after she told me that was it. I really don't think that you can create a relationship in 2 days?! Anyways I was so angry at her and upset and phoned her up to explain but she just told me she hated everything we did and to leave her alone. Making her look like the victim. I ended the call just saying "You are the worst person to ever hurt me" and left it at that. But I can't stop feeling so depressed and upset, even having sleepness nights. I can't get the thought out of my head of those two together and its tearing me apart... What should I do? I've hardly anyone to talk to as I just got back from University and none of my friends are back yet so Im on my own... Please help
KathyM Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Hey guys, I didn't really know what to do and just really needed some advice. I recently found out that my now ex-girlfriend had been hanging out regularly at some guys house when we were doing long distance. I had been at University for the year and she was at home. We were struggling with distance but I was coming home when she told me and I said just wait till we get home and we can talk about things. She kind of wanted to break it off but we both couldn't do it as we loved each other so much. She sent me a facebook message after the chat saying she loved me so much but then a few days later, a few days before i came home she phoned me up and broke it off. I said lets wait until we get home and then we can talk about it but was adiment it was over though she told me she loved me a few days earlier. Unfortuneatly she left her facebook logged on when she came to see me recently and found out she had been messaging this guy and going over his place. Another conversation to someone else and she was calling him her boyfriend!! days after she told me that was it. I really don't think that you can create a relationship in 2 days?! Anyways I was so angry at her and upset and phoned her up to explain but she just told me she hated everything we did and to leave her alone. Making her look like the victim. I ended the call just saying "You are the worst person to ever hurt me" and left it at that. But I can't stop feeling so depressed and upset, even having sleepness nights. I can't get the thought out of my head of those two together and its tearing me apart... What should I do? I've hardly anyone to talk to as I just got back from University and none of my friends are back yet so Im on my own... Please help I'm very sorry you had to get hurt like that. I know it is devastating. My sister went through the same thing with her husband after they had just been married for one year. He had to be away at college the whole week, and then only see her on weekends. Needless to say, he found someone else up at the college to fool around with during the week. My sister was so grief stricken when she found out, it was heartbreaking to see her have to deal with that. Try to block those images in your mind if you can. Make a conscious effort to change the image to something good when your mind starts to dwell on the infidelity. It would also be helpful to write down a list of your goals in life and brainstorm ideas of how to fulfill those goals. It helps to refocus your time and attention on something positive so that you don't have so much time to dwell on the negative.
Author Tafari Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 I'm very sorry you had to get hurt like that. I know it is devastating. My sister went through the same thing with her husband after they had just been married for one year. He had to be away at college the whole week, and then only see her on weekends. Needless to say, he found someone else up at the college to fool around with during the week. My sister was so grief stricken when she found out, it was heartbreaking to see her have to deal with that. Try to block those images in your mind if you can. Make a conscious effort to change the image to something good when your mind starts to dwell on the infidelity. It would also be helpful to write down a list of your goals in life and brainstorm ideas of how to fulfill those goals. It helps to refocus your time and attention on something positive so that you don't have so much time to dwell on the negative. Thank you so much Kathy, it means a lot and you speak a lot of sense. I will try and keep my mind of those thoughts though if I am honest its so hard at the minute. I try and then suddenly it just pops back in to my head and sends me spinning again. She works were I do over the summer too so seeing her will just make me feel so horrible. I will try and avoid her though! I'll start occupying myself with other things and getting myself a proper job after university! Noel
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