LilThalie Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 So,yesterday night I attended the party I posted about. He was there but I only bumped into him once, said hi and just walked by. So, that was okay, I actually enjoyed the party. When I left I was waiting at the bus stop, when I saw two people walking by on the other side of the street. I took a closer look and it was him and her. He looked over, saw me, stared in my eyes, I could see how shocked he was to see me. That it was. Now I wonder if they ever actually broke up, she lives in another city, so how knows. What crap did he tell me the last four months? Our future? Being in love with me? What? And now that? He always said that she was an important person in his life but that he'd never want to get back with her. When I talked to him about our break up, I thought he was hurting too. I honestly believed him that it was hard for him because he liked me a lot. So I guess he lied straight to my face when telling me that he had to fight his feelings for me because all the thinking about our problems, the uncertain future etc. depressed him. I thought I wouldn't get worse but it did. I feel so crushed. What kind of disgusting game did he play the last months?
BrighterDaze Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 I don't know the entire story, but I got the idea, I think. It has to hurt to see them together, but maybe it was not what you think. sometimes, we fill in the blank when we don't have all of the information. Could this be true for you? Not sure why you broke up and if there is NC, but sometimes people lean on familiarity when they hurt. I don't think he lied to you. I think he made mention of the ex and seeing them hang out might hurt, but shouldn't be completely shocking. Hold on. Take a deep breath. Try to take your mind off of him. Hard, I know, but you are only gonna waste a beautiful day by speculating. Good luck.
Author LilThalie Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 Thanks for your reply. You are right I don't really know if they are actually back together. They weren't holding hands, not even talking. But his place is right around the corner from the bus stop, so I'm sure they were heading there. It was 3 AM in the morning, I just can't believe he would do this if he was really hurt. You know I woke up this morning in my bed and my first thought was how she was lying there next to him, waking up next to him. I want to call him and ask him if they are actually back together and why he couldn't just have told me. But I promised myself to not initiate any contact for a minimum of 4 weeks.
AlisaMarie Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Thanks for your reply. You are right I don't really know if they are actually back together. They weren't holding hands, not even talking. But his place is right around the corner from the bus stop, so I'm sure they were heading there. It was 3 AM in the morning, I just can't believe he would do this if he was really hurt. You know I woke up this morning in my bed and my first thought was how she was lying there next to him, waking up next to him. I want to call him and ask him if they are actually back together and why he couldn't just have told me. But I promised myself to not initiate any contact for a minimum of 4 weeks. Trust me- YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. I was already crushed over my ex of 2 years. There was a girl from work he bounced back and forth to- but it was a "fling." Guess where he went immediately after our break... yep her. I had a feeling but didn't know for sure and that was ok. But he started calling me and telling me he loves me and misses me so I asked him. Yep! With her.... now I am not only missing the **** out of him, but I get to picture them together building a future. I was better off NOT knowing. You don't want to know.
Author LilThalie Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 At least I wouldn't be left wondering, pondering THE question. But it would not make me feel better, I know. Urgh, I just want to call him and ask how the hell he can look me in the eyes and tell me that the last thing he wants is to hurt me. He must realize that he's doing just that.
Author LilThalie Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 So I packed all his stuff in a box and handed them over to his flatmate with a note saying "I don't understand why you couldn't have just told me the truth, but I don't want to know anymore. I think it's sad things had to end this way. Me." I feel so much better now that there's none of his belongings left at my place. I'm still hurt that he played me this way. I still miss him. But today I thought how much I pity him because he didn't understand the concept of honesty and truthfulness. When we talked I reflected what I did wrong in this 'relationship' in my behaviour towards him, I told him, I looked him in the eye and told him, just because of that I feel like I'm so much stronger than him. I might be alone while he is with her. But I can look in the mirror and say, this is me and I liked this guy a lot, I still do, but I eventually will get over it. I know there are still some tears to shed for me. I don't know how he can look into her eyes or in the mirror, but I know there are some little things that will remind him of me and he will feel a little bit guilty everytime he sees them. Yes, I feel stupid because I believed in him. Maybe he meant those pretty words he said to me at that time, I don't know and never will. But I don't regret. I will keep the good memories for what they are good, and the bad for what they are, bad. And, hey, I'm sure there are many great things ahead for me.
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