Dedalus Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 I barely know where to start, but here goes... Almost a year ago I took the decision to break up with my girlfriend (Emily) after a three-year relationship. Although she really was (and is) a wonderful person, I felt trapped and claustrophobic in the relationship. We were living together and basically I suppose I wasn't sure I loved her. Immediately afterwards I started seeing another girl (Laura). At the time, I took the ending of the relationship with Emily very, very badly. I was a complete emotional wreck. Every time I saw Emily I would break down crying. Laura was patient and understanding, but it made what we had quite difficult, obviously! Perhaps because of this, the relationship with Laura always stayed fairly casual - or at least that's what we said. We had a conversation once when she asked me where our relationship was going and I told her that I wanted to keep it casual as I wasn't ready for another full-on relationship. Since then she has emotionally backed away quite a lot. Even now, for example, Laura and I do not talk about the future, she never says she loves me (and vice versa). I have strong feelings for her, but we are very different people and don't really share (m)any interests. We are incredibly sexually compatible though, and she makes me laugh and we do have fun together. She is a lot less caring than Emily was, a lot more distant emotionally - but I think that is partly because of what I told her when she asked about our future. Emily and I stayed close friends. Now, she is about to be forced (due to immigration regulations) to move to the other side of the world. I've started to wonder if I made a big mistake breaking up with her; for various reasons I have seen a bit more of her than normal in the past weeks and I recall the things that attracted me to her in the first place. She is lively, full of adventure, fun, etc. We also have a lot more in common than I do with Laura, lots of mutual friends, etc. Then last night, unexpectedly, she (Emily) told me she still loved me. (I know a cynical view of this would be that she wants to help her immigration status - but I genuinely believe that's not the case). I am totally confused now and don't know what to do. I don't even know how to go about making this decision! Any help would be appreciated...
Tayla Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Person one: Laura- you've kept at bay and question that since its been sustained as casual it will take much work if you so choose to become serious. Ask yourself, do you have what it takes to move it to the next level. Person two: Emily- a person who captured your heart, lost her and now want her back knowing she will be removed thru distance. Torn between two loves....hard task to undertake. I'd suggest you ask yourself if either of them are really what you want, given you walked away from one and are only keeping the other as an "interium" til something else comes along....Sorry to be blunt yet I sense you want what you cannot have at this time...
Author Dedalus Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Person one: Laura- you've kept at bay and question that since its been sustained as casual it will take much work if you so choose to become serious. Ask yourself, do you have what it takes to move it to the next level. Person two: Emily- a person who captured your heart, lost her and now want her back knowing she will be removed thru distance. Torn between two loves....hard task to undertake. I'd suggest you ask yourself if either of them are really what you want, given you walked away from one and are only keeping the other as an "interium" til something else comes along....Sorry to be blunt yet I sense you want what you cannot have at this time... I don't know what I want, I agree. I genuinely do have strong feelings for both of them. I'm typing this on my phone, so can't write much but I'd appreciate any other points of view.
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