ozdeano Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 My fiancee of 1.5 years has told me that she now needs space now after I found out she had been talking to other guys, to figure out who she is so she can be happy in our relationship, (she told me she loves me and seeing those guys was a mistake) we have been bascially joined at the hip for this period and lived together for 1 year, but we are from different counties and she had to return home for financial resons, we have been apart for about 2 months now but we had plans to reunite later in the year. I know that I need to give her the space and am struggling with this but I will push through after reading the advise on the boards here. She wants to remain in contact however via email and the odd text/call to see how each other are going. What should I be doing in this situation as I am still in love with her very much and want to try with our relationship?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 You can either ride it out or cut ties with her. Sounds like you are on a "break" or something along the lines of one. From my experience a "break" means they aren't breaking up with you right now but will soon. my ex and I took a break sometime in april of 2010, she dumped me end of march 2011. Not trying to scare you, Just keep in mind that it may be coming.
BrighterDaze Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 I think that it is always important to see what someone does and not says to you. Actions are important and telling. Is she calling regularly? Is she happy to hear from you when you call? When is she returning to you? These are some questions that you may need to answer. She may be uncertain about the marriage. Maybe you can try talkin with her about these concerns. PRemarriage counseling is also an option, if she is interested. If there are apprehensions or issues on her side, it is best to learn of them now and save yourself more heartache later. In fact, you can consider yourself lucky that she is doing this now and not AFTER you get married to her.
SelfControl Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 (edited) ozdeano...My advice is going to be harsher than others. As tough as it is to hear, I say you need to accept that this relationship is over and you need to start dealing with that realization. When a woman says she 'needs space' the bottom line is her interest in you has dwindled to a point where she finally got the courage to break up with you. In other words, 'needing space' is code for 'I'm not interested in you anymore.' Of course, no one likes to think that their ex isn't interested in them, but it happens, especially when the man does all the wrong things, or picks a bad woman. Take this time to reflect on the signs that she was pulling away way before she finally told you she 'needed space'. Then ask yourself what you did early on in the relationship that changed towards the end of the relationship. All of this will help you learn and get through this. And then, once you are ready, you can take what you've learned and apply it to the next woman you meet. Perhaps, she will be the one you keep. And, by doing all the right things, you will hold the rejection card. Doesn't that sound better than her holding it? To learn more about what happened, let's get some details... How did you meet? How many dates did you go on before she asked to be your gf? How many months were you bf and gf before she hinted towards marriage? Who asked whom to get married? Did you ever tell her you loved her in words, rather than through your actions? How old are the two of you? How far apart do you live? Edited July 10, 2011 by SelfControl
CaliBabe Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 You should start dating others too, you might end up liking it!
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