worried about a friend who has been molested as a teen

[yes]

a friend of mine was molested as a teen. as a result (i'm assuming that's the cause!), she is very uncomfortable with sexuality. she's paranoid about being used for sex, and basically cringes when men even look at her with desire. mind you, she does date, but there're always these issues. to the point where she prefers to have no sexuality in her relationships at all (but doesn't because the men won't agree to it).

 

i'm just worried about her. i know it's up to her to deal with the issues. she's tried counselling, with no luck. any advice?

 

thanks,

-yes

[moimeme]

Doubtless there are books for folks like her. She can also try an abuse crisis line and try for a new counsellor. Sometimes it's not that counselling is useless, but that someone has ended up with a useless counsellor. Not all of them are excellent.

[wideawake]

Yeah, and even some of the really damn excellent ones simply won't 'click' with their patient.

 

Or maybe I should say that the patient doesn't click with them for whatever reason.

 

I've seen this in my own life.

[Silksatin]

I know what it's like to be in your friend's shoes...

She is so lucky to have a friend who worries about her and wants to understand her. A lot of people worry about me but none understand me, except therapist and support group people. From what I've heard, many women who've been abused like that are painfully lonely. You are doing so much for her already Just hang in there. It may take years for her to heal.... But nothing heals better than understanding and validation of her feelings