LuvHurtsme Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Hey all, I posted about a month ago about the break of me and my gf. It was rather painful but life went on and I had just started feeling okay about things. I had gotten involved in dating around and was starting to move on. About a week ago I'm driving past my EX's job and she pulls out in her car and sees me. She was suppose to have gotten off an hour prior but said she had been working a little over. We went back to her place and talked and ended up kissing and whatnot. Since then shes come over a few times and we talk enough on the phone. We're being pretty intimate but everytime I bring "us" up she says she doesn't have time yet for a relationship. (She was just promoted at her job and she works often) She says eventually she hopes we can be together, but she needs to build up trust for me (we broke up over something I did) and she just doesnt have the time for a relationship with anyone right now. I thought I was Okay with that but now I'm having doubts because we love each other and yet we arent together. It is just rather wierd. I am feeling like I want to sit her down and tell her that I want it all or nothing, but I don't want to ruin the progess we have made so far. Do I make her make a decision or wait it out? This girl is the love of my life but I just dont feel as if she's as serious as I am about making things work. Any advice would be appreciated. PS. Excuse my sloppy grammar- Im in a rush.
Becks84 Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Maybe she doesnt want to get back together right away because of what you did. Can I ask what you did? Then I could give my opinion on if it makes sense why she's not giving in to you.
Author LuvHurtsme Posted April 23, 2004 Author Posted April 23, 2004 Oh yea no problem. So anyways the girl I'm currently with, Emily, (er trying to be with) has trust issues with me because: Before I dated her I dated her friend Kelly and while I was with Kelly I cheated on her with this girl Nicole. Now Emily has always been weary of me being around this girl Nikki, so for the good of our relationship I decided to stay clear of her all together. Of course this was sort of hard because she was a part of my circle of friends. Anyways it worked pretty well for a while, then one night I saw her at a party and she said hello. Not to be rude I said hello etc. Well I wasn't going to tell Emily because I didn't want to start a fight about it, and I thought it was insignificant enough to not tell her. However she found out and she came to me and told me I had lied and tried to keep it from her. I suppose she thought that maybe we had seen each other before and I just had been hiding it. We broke up and I tried everything possible to show her how sorry I was and gave it my honest best to prove how much I loved her. In any event that was that. I just got done hanging out with her and we talked about "us" a little more and she is saying that she wants to believe that I'm being truthful about how much I love her and how I want things to be different now between us but she's just not sure if she's ready yet. So yes becks, any advice would be grand. I remember you talking about how you and your boyfriend recently had a problem and you said you always say things pertaining to that. Well yea Emily does the same thing. So
Becks84 Posted April 27, 2004 Posted April 27, 2004 Hi! Im sorry it took me so long to respond. I can understand why she has always been weary. Some things are just too hard to forget about. But for you two to have a chance, she is just going to have to believe what you say to her about how you love her and she can trust you. WIthout trust you don't have much! There's a good quote for her - "Love like you'll never get hurt." My boyfriend really hurt me, and it took me some time to get past it. I wouldnt say Im completely past it yet, but I have stopped with the constant comments about it and I am putting my trust back into him, as well as my whole self...slowly but surely. Because I love by that quote above! It's the only way to love. Maybe try telling her these things. WHat is going on with the two of you now? You said she has been saying shes not ready and things along those lines. She will only keep dragging you along for as long as you allow it...just keep that in mind. But Im willing to bet she is not doing it intentionally, and that she just really has some resentment inside...which needs to be let go of for anything good to come of you two again. Let me know the latest on you two! Good luck -becks
faux Posted April 27, 2004 Posted April 27, 2004 If you feel strongly about it, perhaps it is a good idea to explain that she cannot have intimacy with you unless she is willing to try to commit to a relationship with you. Be clear about your feelings and your concerns.
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