Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Maybe I will have to do another photo shoot. I have lost 5-10 pounds since the last pictures of me were taken, and I'm in better shape. I have already picked out which song of mine I'm going to send him, and I am very confident he's going to love that. Guys are always wowed by my music, especially musicians. And my music is definitely way better than this band's. I'm just not so sure I'm enough of a looker for him. Okay.. but he is waiting .. no pressure... Stop the looker stuff.. you're hot !!!
daphne Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 For the love of god, please just do it already. The what if's will get to you.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 I just sent them. I think I am going to vomit!!!
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I just sent them. I think I am going to vomit!!! hahaha.. exhale..inhale...relax..
Stung Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Hey, Stung. He was a "quiver match" for me, and after I looked at his profile, I added him to my "favorites" list. So silly, but kind of fun. Oh, the world of the human-machine merge. You get a question when you add a guy to your "favorites" list -- "Do you want to let him know you added him to your favorites list?" And I clicked YES. So I imagine he gets an e-mail from OK Cupid saying, "Ruby has added you to her favorites list." Right? With a link to me.. Ok, I get it. The "Quiver match" thing must be after my time, but even back then you could see who added you to their favorites, and that was obviously powerful incentive to get in touch with them. I think I am going to chicken out.. Ruby Ruby Roo, I always pictured you as being so bold. Maybe I will have to do another photo shoot. I have lost 5-10 pounds since the last pictures of me were taken, and I'm in better shape. I have already picked out which song of mine I'm going to send him, and I am very confident he's going to love that. Guys are always wowed by my music, especially musicians. And my music is definitely way better than this band's. I'm just not so sure I'm enough of a looker for him. You're way overthinking it. God knows I've had a few boyfriends and girlfriends who were prettier than me, just be bold, be charming, and have your wicked way. I just sent them. I think I am going to vomit!!! About time. Who knows what will happen, but you always regret most the paths left untaken, amirite?
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Ruby Ruby Roo, I always pictured you as being so bold. Sometimes I am. I fluctuate wildly between thinking I rule the world to thinking I suck. I have always been like this. My mojo is just beginning to rise after a period of suckage for the past few weeks. This is linked to running my startup business. The last few weeks were SLOW -- our first lull -- and it was maddening. But things are picking up again, thank the stars. Who knows what will happen, but you always regret most the paths left untaken, amirite? Yes, you're right. I'm glad I took the leap. Even if I never hear from him again, I am still giving myself some points for bravery.
Voldar Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I read this whole thing and have been reading many posts after i found this site two days ago, but I had to post to this so I made an account. I was worried I'd get to the end and find out Ruby didn't go through with it, but I'm happy you did. So good job, even if you feel sick.
ascendotum Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Man, some of y'all are CYNICAL. I might have to take a little detox break from LS. I hate to do it, but I need sunshine in my life right now, big time! As a guy, and going on the RL experiences of the women I know who date these 'great guys' and the online players I know, what you call cynical I call pragmatic. Feelsgoodman's post is the most logical here. And then I did a tarot reading to ask what would happen if I met him. haha It was fun. I pulled one card, and it was like SUCCESS, awesomeness, yes all the way. Jeeez you're such a girl. He could be rapist or killer, watch out.... Its the axe murderers that do online dating that are the worst. As they say..Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good Luck...and keep us updated.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Well, no response yet, but I did just e-mail him last night. I'm already wondering which is going to be worse: no response, or a "you're not my type" kind of e-mail. I think it would be rude not to even respond, since he asked for it. But in any case, it won't be a total wash no matter what. Last night before bed, I started writing a new song, which was inspired by this idea of a mysterious stranger and the possibilities. I'm really liking it so far. And I haven't written a new song in... months. So this is good.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 And then I did a tarot reading to ask what would happen if I met him. haha It was fun. I pulled one card, and it was like SUCCESS, awesomeness, yes all the way. Jeeez you're such a girl. As they say..Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good Luck...and keep us updated. hehe I am. And thanks. I think however this plays out, the lesson in it for me is to be brave and face the possibility of rejection -- something I totally need to do. I'm prepared for it, and I'll be fine if it happens. Men face rejection constantly, and I'm sure most of y'all get rejected dozens or hundreds of times. And you learn to let it roll off your back, which I'm sure makes you stronger. I am already leaning toward what Art Critic said: if he's not interested, it's his loss!
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 But in any case, it won't be a total wash no matter what. Last night before bed, I started writing a new song, which was inspired by this idea of a mysterious stranger and the possibilities. I'm really liking it so far. And I haven't written a new song in... months. So this is good. Good deal.. putting yourself out there was a big step and no matter how it plays out you win.. hehe I am. And thanks. I think however this plays out, the lesson in it for me is to be brave and face the possibility of rejection -- something I totally need to do. I'm prepared for it, and I'll be fine if it happens. Men face rejection constantly, and I'm sure most of y'all get rejected dozens or hundreds of times. And you learn to let it roll off your back, which I'm sure makes you stronger. I am already leaning toward what Art Critic said: if he's not interested, it's his loss! If he does reject you you then treat it like a water on a duck's back.. and try and remember that you are special...from what I know about you here on LS you're an outstanding woman and good looking to boot.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Thanks, Art! I appreciate the support. You seem like such a good guy.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Oh, and this whole experience has put me one step closer to FINALLY trying online dating. This guy is probably one of the most appealing guys on OK Cupid -- at least, it looks that way from his profile. I have to think there are many awesome guys on there who don't get as much attention for whatever reason. Something tells me that if I put some info and pictures up there, I'll suddenly have a lot of dates lined up.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Two days later, and no response. Ouch! But actually, I don't care that much. I'm not sorry I did it. I got a new song out of the deal, and it's coming along nicely. I just logged in and deleted the jerk from my "favorites". It felt great to click that little X! And I have a date tomorrow.
Stung Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 The way I look at it is, if he's such an emotionally stunted toolbag as to not even respond at that juncture, you're way better off knowing that up front before getting your hopes ramped up higher, meeting him in person, wasting time, possibly getting sucked into some shady misleading FWB arrangement or whatever. Of course there's an element of ouch. But hey, that's all part and parcel of a life lived. You get to know that you recovered your bold streak, and you dodged a tool, and you're continuing to experiment and move forward. And, as you said, you got a song out of it. Not bad. Have a great date tomorrow.
Art_Critic Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Two days later, and no response. Ouch! But actually, I don't care that much. I'm not sorry I did it. I got a new song out of the deal, and it's coming along nicely. I just logged in and deleted the jerk from my "favorites". It felt great to click that little X! And I have a date tomorrow. Whata dick.... and great...have fun on your date.. remember to wear clean panties in case you are in an accident
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 I know! How rude not to even respond. I could have handled a polite "not interested" message -- in fact, it's what I was expecting from the outset. I almost wrote him back in the beginning and told him he's too good-looking for me, but decided to be bold instead. But hey, I haven't even done onling dating yet. Maybe this will give me some advance empathy for the guys who approach me. After this, I think I would certainly respond to all reasonable, non-douchey inquiries with at least a polite "not interested" message.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 And thanks, y'all. I appreciate the positive perspective.
Star Gazer Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Here's my 2 cents, for what they're worth. You should maintain a profile that has pictures, at all times. If someone contacts you, or responds to you, you know they like what they see. You won't have to stress yourself out as you did with this guy. Also, 9 times out of 10, the guys you meet out on "dates" will disappoint you. You may like their profile, and enjoy the witty banter, but in person...it'll just be blah. I think most of us who've tried online dating can attest to this. So, in short... Worry less about whether they like you, and focus on finding someone you like and click with.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Here's my 2 cents, for what they're worth. You should maintain a profile that has pictures, at all times. If someone contacts you, or responds to you, you know they like what they see. You won't have to stress yourself out as you did with this guy. Thanks. Yeah, that definitely makes more sense. I did it the way I did because I AM intimidated by online dating, and dating in general, and I just didn't feel ready to put myself on display like that. Since my last breakup almost 3 years ago, I have been doing some major soul searching and self-improvement in every possible way. I've made big progress, too. During this time, I've been pretty self-protective, and I've only recently begun to let my guard down some. But I did want to dip my toes into the water by browsing at the kinds of guys who are on the dating sites. I've been thinking that I will throw myself into dating fully when I feel really ready. And I'm still not quite there. I'd like to get into a little bit better shape, get my finances really stable, and strengthen my sometimes shaky self-esteem. My hope is that when I'm stronger in all these ways, I will be able to attract more suitable guys and weed out unsuitable ones more easily. And really, I'd much prefer to meet guys the old-fashioned way. I know I'm not getting any younger, but I have to do things in my own time. I'm doing my best, and that's all I can do. Also, 9 times out of 10, the guys you meet out on "dates" will disappoint you. You may like their profile, and enjoy the witty banter, but in person...it'll just be blah. I think most of us who've tried online dating can attest to this. Good to know. So, in short... Worry less about whether they like you, and focus on finding someone you like and click with. And good advice. This situation was anomalous because his messages were really fun and sweet, and we seemed to have a lot in common. AND he just happened to message me on my birthday, so I thought maybe that was a sign of luck. But apparently not! Edited July 14, 2011 by Ruby Slippers
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