VELVET21 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Woke up today, feeling like crying. During the day im ok(at least better than this) Its right after i wake up that i feel like my heart dropped right into my stomach(i dont even understand myself) and i remember, hes not gonna be here anymore, right now im not even his friend hes acting like i never exist. last time i saw him everything was okay we kissed held hands he told me he loves me, we were on a train station...i hate that station now it makes me want to cry! I wish i could go right into the phase were i dont care anymore!!!! so i can stop feeeling sorry for myself and stop cheking my fone my email waiting for him to tgell me he wants me back. i also keep thinking :"how am i gonna say happy bday to him", which is stupid cuz hes birthday is not till 4 month.. i keep thinkin should i txt him? wht if he changed his number? emailed him? call him? and i know it dumb to think about it but its all i can thin about now :/ and he even missed my birthday so i should be upset about it but no.... right now im not myself ive been in other relationships being the dumper and the dumpee but never felt like this..i really really love him i really need to stop thois nightmare...and im posting this cuz it maked me feels better i know its not even a question
smudge21 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Anytime I'm not active is when my mind wanders and she enters my thoughts. Plus, with us now in July (the month we met) all those memories of how good it was, just keep on flooding my mind. I too have triggers like your train station - for me its a local coffee shop where I first met her. See it almost every day. That's just like torture. You didn't post a question and I'm not posting any answers, as there aren't any. Healing simply comes with time and we just have to ride out these bad times. I know it feels like they'll never go away, but I know from a previous relationship (where I thought she was the one) that eventually all pain goes away eventually. Sadly there's no quick fix for this, but I find posting here does really help. It's often easier to give advice than take it.
sun_moon Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I understand, I dread weekends too. I'm living testimony mornings and nights get easier. He's not the first or last thing that pops into my head anymore. I promise you, you will get to that point. Now, I just need to enjoy my weekends without missing him, another hurdle, and you know what, we are all gonna get there.
Ally-65 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Woke up today, feeling like crying. During the day im ok(at least better than this) Its right after i wake up that i feel like my heart dropped right into my stomach(i dont even understand myself) and i remember, hes not gonna be here anymore, right now im not even his friend hes acting like i never exist. last time i saw him everything was okay we kissed held hands he told me he loves me, we were on a train station...i hate that station now it makes me want to cry! I wish i could go right into the phase were i dont care anymore!!!! so i can stop feeeling sorry for myself and stop cheking my fone my email waiting for him to tgell me he wants me back. i also keep thinking :"how am i gonna say happy bday to him", which is stupid cuz hes birthday is not till 4 month.. i keep thinkin should i txt him? wht if he changed his number? emailed him? call him? and i know it dumb to think about it but its all i can thin about now :/ and he even missed my birthday so i should be upset about it but no.... right now im not myself ive been in other relationships being the dumper and the dumpee but never felt like this..i really really love him i really need to stop thois nightmare...and im posting this cuz it maked me feels better i know its not even a question I'm sorry you are feeling this way, Velvet. I totally feel the same way. The weekends are really hellish. We just HAVE to keep busy. It's my ex's birthday today. I would have fully expected me to acknowledge it. I haven't and I'm proud of myself for not giving in to the urge. Not that he hasn't been on my mind all day, though. It WILL get easier and better for us. I promise you that. There is no magic answer, other than time. Which I know is not what you want to hear.
Recommended Posts