JohnDoe1234 Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 I know I shouldn't do this, but I've been analysing the reasons for my break-up. I feel it might have been because of my lack of self confidence. We had been together for only 3 months and the break up was 5 weeks ago. She is 19 and I am 24. I know that I was not suffocating her at the start but as time passed she started to spend less time on me and more time on her friends. It came to a point where we'd go 3 weeks straight without going out or having a meal together, although as both of us stayed in hostel, we saw each other everyday. During the three weeks our contact was mainly her coming up to my room for 5-10 mins a day, Although she did sleep over on a couple of nights. And we also maintained some contact over the computer. She was busy with her projects during this time and so was I, but I felt we could have talked face-to-face a little more often to improve the relationship. One day, I merely mentioned that maybe we could go out more often, and confessed that I loved her, but then she took the confrontation badly and said that she might never have loved me at all, that it was just a crush all this while. That she felt things weren't quite right two weeks before we broke up cos she was normally more clingy to her ex-boyfriends. Was she clingy with them because they displayed more self-confidence? Was it my fault that she became more distant? Should I have kept my concerns to myself, instead of telling them to her? Should I approach my next relationships differently, and give the girl more space?
yes Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 in general, it's good to give people space. be nice, show that you like them, but wait for reciprocal signs, too. but, you really can't know if the fact that this r/s didn't work out is because of the space issue. it often happens that two people date, and one just happens to take it much more seriously than the other. such is life. you just have to stop analyzing it and move on! good luck, -yes
Author JohnDoe1234 Posted April 23, 2004 Author Posted April 23, 2004 Maybe it wasn't a real relationship. It's just that she is an affectionate person and seeing her being closer to other guys, while ignoring me completely now that we've broken up has been very hard. We're both in college although I'll be graduating in a month's time and will probably be out of her life forever. I'm really very sure she won't come back into this relationship at all. I'm puzzled cos she said it was better that we remain as friends but i think that was just her way of letting me down easy. Does she really want to remain friends? Or will she ignore me forever? I know I'm unable to see her as that, I'll probably never be able to. Should I ever contact her again? Girls are a tough nut to crack.
emeraldcity Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 I don't think lack of confidence would be the reason why a relationship would end, I think instead it is the reason why people remain in relationships that are destined to end because one party is always contributing more than the other. That has been my experience anyway.
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