elisheva Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 This might be a dumb question, but I will ask anyway: How do you gauge the progression of an online LDR? hopefully this makes sense---here are the specifics of my scenario I met a guy a few months ago and I really like him, he likes me too he says. We email each other daily and talk on skype every weekend; recently we've been talking during the week days too, one week we talk twice about three hours each time. We live 5000 miles apart in different countries and we are both young professionals with hectic schedules so we can't just take a weekend off and meet each other. Still, we both enjoy talking to one another and I am developing feelings for him as crazy as it sounds given that we've never actually met. I want to know how to approach the subject of where this is going. We've been talking non-stop for about three months right now and we are both very affectionate with one another through email and skype but i know that these forms of communication are not always telling of true emotions which is why i am a bit hesitant about all of this (not to mention FIVE THOUSAND MILES!) I would very much like to enter into a relationship with him but at the same time, we've never met yet and I don't know if it's wise to make that kind of commitment before we meet in the flesh---what type of expectations does one have from an online SO when they meet, for example? The people here who met their SO online first---were you "officially" bf/gf before you met in real life, or afterwards? I feel like in many ways we are already dating, it's just not official, and sure I can go around saying I don't need a title for this relationship, but it is confusing to me without one. Is it fair to ask someone to be exclusive with you if you haven't met them, but spend a lot of time chatting with them? Please anyone with similar experiences please help guide me through this, I really like this guy and I don't want to screw things up by moving too fast, or not fast enough. I know that he really likes me too, wants to meet me, is nervous to meet me, etc, but we haven't talked specifics yet so it's hard to truly gauge the situation for me. Any advice on LDR as it specifically relates to online dating (someone you have met online) would be great in general!! Thanks so much, and good luck to everyone here in relationships/looking for one !!
blugirl Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 We went exclusive after there was a certain situation which pushed us both in a way to confess officially to each other... cause previously we were already affectionate towards each other but we kept silent about the obvious. We haven't met yet and it's been going on for a while..... there is no possibility to meet yet (yeah, 6000 miles...) but we wait patiently cause we both feel it's too good to let go. And we don't care what others think about it.
madjac74 Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Well I'm a firm believer that you can't have a serious relationship without meeting each other. You can talk to someone for years online but until you are with them physically I dont believe you will know if you have that chemistry to take the relationship to being more than friends. Someone may seem appealing online but I feel like you have to experience someone in person, see how they react to real world situations, see how well you guys react to each other when you are face to face and cant just log off. They may have some quirks or things they do that may annoy you that you dont experience online or you may discover something about them that drives you wild. Im considerably taller than my gf... 6ft and she is maybe 5'4 in her heels...and when we are face to face she has a way of looking up at me with her big hazel eyes without entirely lifting her head. For some reason it drives me wild but the point is I could never experience that online and its things like that which set her apart from everyone else.
LittleTiger Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 I met my SO online. We hit it off straight away and met IRL two months later. With a 12,000 mile separation it wasn't easy but, where there's a will there's a way. Despite very strong feelings on both sides before we met IRL, we didn't consider ourselves a couple until we had met. We both knew the risks of things being different and of the possibility of there being no chemistry IRL. Once we had arranged the RL meeting we did agree not to actively 'pursue' other people although neither of us removed our online profiles and we both still communicated with other people we'd met online. When we met we became an exclusive couple. I really think you need to meet each other as soon as possible. Take a week off work, if you can both get the leave, and maybe meet halfway if the distance is a problem. If you get along really well online, the chances are high that you will get on IRL so, even if there is no chemistry you could still enjoy a fun holiday with a good friend. If you don't meet fairly soon, you run the risk of getting much deeper into a 'relationship' without knowing if there's any possibility of a romance in real life.
Recommended Posts