lindie Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Hey, I'm new to the board, and really need some advice. My current boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months. My ex-boyfriend that I was with for 3 years has recently moved back to town. We have remained close friends, and I really value his friendship. My current boyfriend has threatened to break up with me if I see my ex again. My ex and my relationship is completely platonic, but I understand where my current boyfriend is coming from. My current boyfriend is completely controlling sometimes, although I know this situation is different. I dont want to lose either one of them. I guess I know that I should cut the old relationship ties, but need some second opinons. thanks!
Becks84 Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Do you see you and your ex ever getting back together? Or do you see you and your current having a future? Or both. I think I can be of more help if you answer me these few things
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Who is most important to you? No one should control you or try to force you to ditch a friend, however, if you make a commitment to someone then you should want to make them happy. If my husband ever expressed concern over a male friend, then the friend would have to go. Or if he was concerned over a female friend (thought she was a bad influence, etc.) then she would have to go. But that is a marriage - you are in a budding relationship, so you need to decide who is your priority. You are still building up trust with each other and confidence. You should be able to talk to your ex and explain that you want to focus on this new relationship and as a gesture of love and a possible future with the new guy, you need to stop contact with the ex. If the ex is in a new relationship I bet the girl will not want him to be in contact with you. How would you feel if your new guy was still seeing his ex?
Author lindie Posted April 22, 2004 Author Posted April 22, 2004 No, I dont see my ex and me getting back together. I guess I would be upset if my current boyfriend was hanging out with his ex, but not the extent that he has taken it. Especially if I understood and felt comfortable that their was a platonic special friendship. Just because an intimate relationship doesnt work out shouldnt always mean that person is not meant to still be influential in your life. My current boyfriend and I could break up soon, and then I've missed out on spending time with a great friend. I dont know...
becks88 Posted April 22, 2004 Posted April 22, 2004 Keep trying to convince him he's being crazy. Girls are just generally more understanding, so if this were reversed, it wouldnt be such a big deal, and tell him that. Tell him you would hate for the relationship to end, but this is silly. I don't know if I would stay with someone like this...it might be a red flag for the future. And I think you mentioned too that he is controlling. You have explained yourself perfectly on here...there's no reason he shouldnt understand. Maybe if you two were dating longer and if things were more serious this would be different. Follow your heart. I wish I could give better advice on this...
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