sleepykitten Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 So have been on 2 dates both crap, the one tonight i actually walked out telling him to f off he was such an arrongant horrible guy....so so depressing just makes me miss my ex so much.......is this what its going to be like now..really?? i want to call him, speak to him, he knows me, loved me for all my faults, the thought of starting over with someone new is incomprehensible to me. its been 7 weeks since we broke up i last saw him a week ago, i was ok untill tonight, at least i am home safe. but i am so so sad and feel so unhappy. Please can someone just respond and tell me i am not alone.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I haven't been on a date but I have seen numerous posts about the way you are feeling after diving back into the dating pool. you're probably not ready to dive in just yet. give it some more time, go hang out with guys but don't label your time together as a date (might take away some of the disappointment you are experiencing). Just focus on you for a while. 7 weeks isn't that long so don't feel like you are alone in this.
Author sleepykitten Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Oh heart of...thank you for posting so soon, i am sitting here in tears i was doing so well too, it really means so much to just get that response from someone, i live on my own in a flat i hate, everything here reminds me of him and generally its just crap, its 2 a.m in theuk where i am and i felt so hopeless and unhappy, i thought i was ok i really really did, this guy i went out with tinight was just awful, judgemental, egotistical and not even good looking1 but its really set me back, i miss having someone i can just be with who can hold me and love me and say its all going to be ok.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 If you want to vent or just want some acknowledgement you can post here on LS. Just know that you are not alone in what you are feeling right now and also know that you will get better after everything settles within. Don't focus on dating right now, just focus on meeting other people. If you find someone who you think is real dating material while meeting new people then you can focus on the dating aspect of things. But right now I strongly believe you need more time to heal. Meeting new people really does help heal and really shows you what else is out there. You've already seen the bad but it's only a matter of time before you find the good. Who Knows? You might discover that special someone along the way who is better than your ex in every way .
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 We deserve good men Like Me lol just kidding... but lovelyg is right.
Author sleepykitten Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Thanks guys, means alot to be able to come on here and have some support it really does, woke up this morning still feeling pretty crap and tearful, at least i didnt text my ex!! Luckilly i dont have his number anymore!!!! Yes i am seriously going to stop with the dating for a while, its just making me feel awful. I know I am probably trying to replace him too quickly and validate myself through that. Yes he did finish with me so didnt really love me for all my faults at all. And treated me pretty badly the last few months of our relationship too which just tore at my self esteem. Am going to spend today being positive and NOT dwelling!! Hope you all have a good weekend too, and thank you for posting so quickly last night I appriciate it like you wouldnt believe.
stray Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 My date tonight, a handsome biochemist with a nice bmw, told me over a beer that he's satanic and also a nazi. No, I'm not joking. And then I had to sit through a movie with him. The unfortunate reality is, it's hard to find people we're compatible with. It doesn't matter how hot they are, or what they do, or how they'd make your ex jealous. If you have different values, or really different personalities, it won't work. It's hard for your ex to find people they're compatible with too. Thus, when they rebound, it's highly likely they're in fact, actually just trying to pass the time with someone they're actually not compatible with. At least you're not settling. You want someone better than your ex. Keep your standards high, keep going on dates, and you'll eventually find someone you can meet eye to eye with. Whenever I miss my ex, I think of how i felt after the break up before him, and the one before that, and one before that, etc. With each one, I thought they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. Then eventually, I met someone who treated me better. You have a new and better love just around the corner, you just haven't met him yet, you don't know who he is. Just like you never knew your last ex would come into your life. Have faith that you'll love again, and be loved back. It'll happen, in it's own time.
Author sleepykitten Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Hi Stray...oh god he sounds terrible poor you, dating sucks when its bad!! Thank you for your wise words though they brought a tear to my eyes-alot does today epecially, but youre right i felt awful after past break ups and will think of that and how i came through them and met someone else. The key is getting over this feeling of utter despondency, i have never had it before but maybe its because i'm older now and for the first time i really want to be in a functional loving comitted relationship. Am staying in tonight after my last 2 terrible dates, i have 4 movies, chocolate, pjs and the sofa and am grateful I am safely in keep wishing i had someone to give me a big hug and tell me its all going to be ok, but will have to do that myself....will look like mental patient but still, live on my own no ones watching! ,lol! You guys are brilliant, loveshack is my new relationship its official!x;)
BCCA Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 7 weeks isn't really long enough to get over a serious relationship. Until you're completely over the split, you're going to be habitually dissapointed. Nobody is going to be able to replace what you had with your ex right away. My advice is to take it easy on the dating for a while. Often times, we feel lonely after the loss of a relationship, and we seek out a new partner to fill the void. Honestly, its not fair to you or the guys you date. You aren't ready. Do things for yourself and work on being ok with doing things alone. Don't date seriously for probably at least 6 months, it'll just be a disaster otherwise. You need to get back to the way you felt before your last relationship. Just have fun and things you want to do. I started random hobbies that I'd get bored with and start other ones, anything to kill some time and do things alone. Most of all, hang in there. You'll get through this, we've all been there.
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