bluenightowl Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I read (and post) about dating drama.. but sometimes dating/love/romance is the exception to the rule. This forum seems to be all about rules. How many times have we heard about that love story.. of the guy who pursued his love... in this forum he might be called a stalker.. or the couple that broke up and got together and broke up again.. but finally became the best couple ever.. now in their 80's... and broke the never get back together with your ex rule... I talked to an older women once in her 70's who told me this story of how she met her husband when she worked at a shop in NYC. He took a liking for her and they got married almost in an instant... he proposed.. gosh here... one might say he was too anxious.. must wait at least 1.5 years... but she loved it.. she loved him.. later near his deathbed.. in the hospital they still had sex in their 70's when the nurse left.. They loved each other that much.. and she had tears in her eyes telling that story. Someone else might have said, he was a stalker, too anxious.. an AFC.. let him go.. so just be careful folk of all these rules and comments.. and be minded that love isn't get about bagging that girl or guy. it happens.. and not just in hollywood. p.s. when you read these PUA stories.. while I don't doubt the psychology.. what is the prize here.. a manipulated women.. whom you have to play games with to keep her. try to be yourself.. you might just find that confidence there.
Nexus One Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I like your post. However..you...do..use.....a..lot...of..inter-punctuation..which....makes..it....somewhat..annoying...to..read....because..it..breaks..up...the..flow....if..you...know..what....I..mean.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 I was with you until the part about having sex on a deathbed. That kinda squicked me out. Well, but that was a true story. She was from NYC, a lovely woman. i met in the Caribbean at a resort. I was amazed myself, but wow, such a love, and today she volunteers with people getting out of jail and goes on group trips all over the world and still has tears for her husband and a love for life. took out the "...." for those not interested in them.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 It might sound a bit weird having sex on a deathbed but it is a very touching story. What a way for a person to go out though.
Ms. Joolie Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I don't think I ever had to know old people have sex in hospital death beds when the nurses leave.
Nexus One Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I don't think I ever had to know old people have sex in hospital death beds when the nurses leave. I thought it was a novel and touching idea.
OldOnTheInside Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I don't think I ever had to know old people have sex in hospital death beds when the nurses leave. I've seen it happen in worse places... Seriously. Urrgh. p.s. when you read these PUA stories.. while I don't doubt the psychology.. what is the prize here.. a manipulated women.. whom you have to play games with to keep her. try to be yourself.. you might just find that confidence there. In most of the PUA stories, they aren't looking for anything serious. Still, good to brighten things up around here.
Cee Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 It reminds me that to hear a good love story is to ask someone who had a long life with a mate. I think every good love story breaks the "rules" in some way. I wish there were more threads about flouting convention rather than parroting the same tired cliches.
chuckles11 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I read (and post) about dating drama.. but sometimes dating/love/romance is the exception to the rule. This forum seems to be all about rules. How many times have we heard about that love story.. of the guy who pursued his love... in this forum he might be called a stalker.. or the couple that broke up and got together and broke up again.. but finally became the best couple ever.. now in their 80's... and broke the never get back together with your ex rule... I talked to an older women once in her 70's who told me this story of how she met her husband when she worked at a shop in NYC. He took a liking for her and they got married almost in an instant... he proposed.. gosh here... one might say he was too anxious.. must wait at least 1.5 years... but she loved it.. she loved him.. later near his deathbed.. in the hospital they still had sex in their 70's when the nurse left.. They loved each other that much.. and she had tears in her eyes telling that story. Someone else might have said, he was a stalker, too anxious.. an AFC.. let him go.. so just be careful folk of all these rules and comments.. and be minded that love isn't get about bagging that girl or guy. it happens.. and not just in hollywood. p.s. when you read these PUA stories.. while I don't doubt the psychology.. what is the prize here.. a manipulated women.. whom you have to play games with to keep her. try to be yourself.. you might just find that confidence there. While following a set of hard and fast dating rules has pitfalls, I still think it's smart for people to learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others and to establish a general dating philosiphy. Although I see your point, and the story you told was nice, all of the people I know who rushed into marriages are either divorced or miserable. On a larger scale, I'd be willing to bet that most people who marry someone they barely know live to regret it. What you just did was the equivalent of someone coming on here and telling us about his friend who won a bunch of money playing the Lottery. The fact that someone wins every few weeks doesn't mean that we should all go down to the gas station and spend our paychecks on tickets.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 I guess what bothers me is the idea of someone laying there struggling to live, and having the physical demands of sex to contend with also. Seems a bit much and potentially lethal - not loving at all. perhaps part of that story isn't clear. He initiated (according to her) and she obliged.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 While following a set of hard and fast dating rules has pitfalls, I still think it's smart for people to learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others and to establish a general dating philosiphy. Although I see your point, and the story you told was nice, all of the people I know who rushed into marriages are either divorced or miserable. On a larger scale, I'd be willing to bet that most people who marry someone they barely know live to regret it. What you just did was the equivalent of someone coming on here and telling us about his friend who won a bunch of money playing the Lottery. The fact that someone wins every few weeks doesn't mean that we should all go down to the gas station and spend our paychecks on tickets. I understand your point also and that's why I came here. It is likely we live in a different time from that generation, but just to say don't get too hung up on rules or else you might just miss out on that great guy/gal. ie.. don't get too serious about this stuff you read here. Life is fun too.. and often we all find those exceptions.. I do think some people these days treat relationships in a very disposable way, but not everyone does and there are those gems out there, so don't miss them.
Ms. Joolie Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 Are we being too romantic? Must be. And I still don't want to hear about hospital death bed horny-ness. There are too many real elements in this story for me to deem it romantic. The story was more about a man's rationality than romanticism.
Ms. Joolie Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 ...so just be careful folk of all these rules and comments.. and be minded that love isn't get about bagging that girl or guy. But that's exactly what your story told me that love was!
iris219 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I'm completely irrational when it comes to dating and it hasn't worked for me at all.
welikeincrowds Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 People do actually win the lottery. Someone has to, right? But I'm not about to suggest that anyone base a lifestyle around it.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) But that's exactly what your story told me that love was! ha.. the point was really they broke a lot of dating rules we talk about here and had a happy loving relationship.. and that there are many exceptions. when I said bagging that guy or girl, I meant just sex, and only used for sex. ie. no relationship. PUA's (pick up arists) at least to my knowledge have little interest in marriage after one or two dates.. did I miss something? Are PUA's now reforming and getting married after a few dates. Edited July 9, 2011 by bluenightowl
Disillusioned Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 This forum seems to be all about rules. Judging from what I've read in this forum, breaking those rules is neither forgotten nor forgiven.
NoReallyThatHappened Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I think most of the rules people follow on this forum are ridiculous and do nothing but stress people out. a lot of posters seem to try to fit people and relationships into boxes. My user name indicates that I haven't been on here long but I've had a few user names since 2009. It's the same ole thing. Now I just enjoy reading for the sake of reading. My grandparents got married after knowing each other for three months and were happily in love and married for 68 years. I think anything is possible.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 I think most of the rules people follow on this forum are ridiculous and do nothing but stress people out. a lot of posters seem to try to fit people and relationships into boxes. My user name indicates that I haven't been on here long but I've had a few user names since 2009. It's the same ole thing. Now I just enjoy reading for the sake of reading. My grandparents got married after knowing each other for three months and were happily in love and married for 68 years. I think anything is possible. ha! yes indeed. It makes me wonder who then is on here. Those looking for experience perhaps and those who have been in some way hurt. So the heartbroken teaching the heartbroken, not necessarily bad. Any chance someone's happily married parents or grandparents might want to join?
rafallus Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) This forum seems to be all about rules. How many times have we heard about that love story.. of the guy who pursued his love... in this forum he might be called a stalker.. It takes two. If she continuously lets him know "I'm not interested", yet, he still keeps pursuing, he's a stalker. Sometimes you just have to give up to save last bits of dignity you have at the moment. or the couple that broke up and got together and broke up again.. but finally became the best couple ever.. now in their 80's... and broke the never get back together with your ex rule...There are also people who survived falls from the height of several kms or limb loss. Does that mean that saying that fall from great height of losing a limb is not life-threatening? Probably not. Also "best couple ever" part is relative - what you consider as the best, others needn't. I talked to an older women once in her 70's who told me this story of how she met her husband when she worked at a shop in NYC. He took a liking for her and they got married almost in an instant... he proposed.. gosh here... one might say he was too anxious.. must wait at least 1.5 years... but she loved it.. she loved him.. later near his deathbed.. in the hospital they still had sex in their 70's when the nurse left.. They loved each other that much.. and she had tears in her eyes telling that story.It clearly denies your "stalker" point, because I'd very highly doubt that stalked woman would accept his proposal. p.s. when you read these PUA stories.. while I don't doubt the psychology.. what is the prize here.. a manipulated women.. whom you have to play games with to keep her. try to be yourself.. you might just find that confidence there. that's not PUA at all actually. It's just newbies getting confused in their acts. Ergo: There are no rules other than common sense, which should tell you, when you are changing into a doormat/stalker or insufferable *******. Edited July 9, 2011 by rafallus
robdrm32 Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I think we live in an entirely different time so the prospect of meeting someone and falling in love for life is alot different. Nowadays everyone is brought up in a society that stresses individualism, that we don't need other people to make us happy. We should be happy single and not let anyone tell us what to do. Not only that but like it was mentioned, relationships are disposable to alot of people. Rather than work on a relationship and put effort into it people just jump ship because there are so many fish in the sea. I agree with the premise of what you are saying. To me if two people genuinely care for one another everything should fall into place. But what i notice is that people just stop caring at some point, they become selfish. And frankly alot of people are spoiled growing up in our society so when they get told no or have to compromise its like the end of the world.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Quote: p.s. when you read these PUA stories.. while I don't doubt the psychology.. what is the prize here.. a manipulated women.. whom you have to play games with to keep her. try to be yourself.. you might just find that confidence there. "that's not PUA at all actually. It's just newbies getting confused in their acts." I think its people looking for healthy and committed long term relationships not games. If I recall it was the book 'the game' where the PUA at the end of the book ends up alone after all his sexual adventures.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Nowadays everyone is brought up in a society that stresses individualism, that we don't need other people to make us happy. We should be happy single and not let anyone tell us what to do. I've noticed this as well. I think the idea of being strong and believing in yourself is a good one. Anyone who has taken Yoga will hear this a lot, and I'm sure it has merit, but I think a healthy committed long term relationship is a wonderful thing. I really think this online dating world we have now created will make things even more disposable... and even more about the instant gratification.. (note I think online dating has a lot of value as well.. just perhaps a side effect of it)
rafallus Posted July 9, 2011 Posted July 9, 2011 I think its people looking for healthy and committed long term relationships not games. If I recall it was the book 'the game' where the PUA at the end of the book ends up alone after all his sexual adventures.Except that wasn't a textbook, it was a novel, meant to be entertaining I find it funny, how people consider "The game" to have educational value - it's about on par with chick flicks for that matter.
Author bluenightowl Posted July 9, 2011 Author Posted July 9, 2011 Except that wasn't a textbook, it was a novel, meant to be entertaining I find it funny, how people consider "The game" to have educational value - it's about on par with chick flicks for that matter. From what I understand it was based on real life adventures of a new york times reporter and is regarded by the PUA community as a defining work. I wasn't trying to suggest it had educational value. In fact I'm arguing just the opposite, at least for those looking for a healthy long term relationship.
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