shortee143 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Ok this might sound like a no brainer, but input would be great! It hasn't happened just yet, but it is inevitable in the next few weeks. I have to be around my ex and his new girl, quite often I am sure (same social circle, blah blah blah, so going NC isnt what I am choosing...been around him the last few months and I'm getting by, but new girl..ahh that's a diff obstacle). How do I best act around this?? I am a lady, and handed this all like a lady, and I know this girl doesn't deserve to be treated badly as she didn't do anything. However, she is with the person I "want" (he is a jerkoff, so I prob shouldn't want him hah) But it is best, despite that it will kill inside, to show nothing?? (like I said, might sounds like a no brainer, like duh act like you dont care) Deep down, he knows it will hurt me. And to show no emotion or expression, well that's going to def require some effort, but I have no choice to get used to this if I want to continue spending time and having fun with my crew! She 'replaced' me, she is the one he goes to bed with, cares for, talks to, etc, and I will be there to see her in my old role as his gf. I was clearly the dumpee, and never got reasons why. Any others ever been in this situation? I hate that he knows I still care and want him, but hey, I am only human. thanks!!
smudge21 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 If you can't avoid being around them then in my opinion the best thing is to just be yourself. Whether that be the chatty person, the one who listens, the giggler, whatever. Don't show that it's affecting you in any way. I know that's easier said than done, but it's better than the alternative - looking all down and depressed. I used to get along with my ex's guy (it's a long story, but I'd met him same time as her when they were no longer an item), so whenever we'd meet up I'd put on that brave face. But it was a bit easier as we were still all friends. If you think your ex and his new girl would be the types the gloat in seeing you hurt and upset, then don't give them the satisfaction. Why not just go all out to be the best you can, just so you can send a nice little reminder to your ex of what he's lost...
Author shortee143 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 If you can't avoid being around them then in my opinion the best thing is to just be yourself. Whether that be the chatty person, the one who listens, the giggler, whatever. Don't show that it's affecting you in any way. I know that's easier said than done, but it's better than the alternative - looking all down and depressed. I used to get along with my ex's guy (it's a long story, but I'd met him same time as her when they were no longer an item), so whenever we'd meet up I'd put on that brave face. But it was a bit easier as we were still all friends. If you think your ex and his new girl would be the types the gloat in seeing you hurt and upset, then don't give them the satisfaction. Why not just go all out to be the best you can, just so you can send a nice little reminder to your ex of what he's lost... Thanks smudge! I just know that hanging w the ex and their new partner isnt always the norm or chosen situation, so wanted some advice! I tend to be a graceful person with things..I feel like acting out only shows immaturity. It is hard- bc how he handled things and his behavior post breakup has been pretty unacceptable, so to say I am not angry with him would be a lie. Plus to see someone as the role of gf, well that is just hurtful all in itself, but going NC, as good as itd be, just wasnt really the option I wanted. But yes, I sooo dont want to look down and depressed, bc where does that get me? But boy it can be hard to be the bigger person.
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