victoriaaa Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 NC is definitely the way to go. Split up with my bf of 5.5 years 2 months ago him dumping me. I stopped contacting him and gave up, and now he is wanting to meet with me all the time and make things work. We have met up a few times and are taking it slow. I'm not sure if it is what I want any more but will just see how it goes. Even if this does not happen, as I had accepted we had broken up, it will help you get over them and move on. And it may help them realise what they are missing. I am making sure I don't do any of the running, as it is their job.
BrighterDaze Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Just curious: What was your intention with the NC? Was it to get him back? I am going through a rough patch and am probably going to leave my relationship, but I don't think I understand NC. What broke you apart? Did he dump you? Although you seem to have the upper hand now, I would be very leary and protect my heart, if I were you.
TearyEyedPride Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah it really does help. It's like a period of much needed rest and reflection. Just be true to your own needs and make sure you keep yourself in mind at all times.
amethyste Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 NC is not a magic trick to bring your ex back. It is true that in some cases, if you go for NC, your ex will come back. Some dumpers realize after a while what they lost, but in most of the cases it doesn't happen this way. I think NC is more about yourself, it gives you the opportunity to heal. Your ex is doing fine without you, probably they have already moved on - you don't need to see this with your own eyes, especially because you want more from them, you want your old relationship back, while they don't want such thing. So, instead of torturing yourself, you go for NC.
sun_moon Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Dont you think your post is a bit premature? Also, you should be careful what you say on here because people are fragile and hopeful and will want to try it for themselves. I understand every case is different, but NC is not a manipulation tactic, it is a permanent solution for self healing. People, especially new members, do not I repeat DO NOT think that a power play or manipulation tactic will get your ex back. It may work in the beginning, and you might get the result you want initially, but I promise you, more often than not, IT WILL BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE. Victoria, be careful, keep your guard up and good luck.
Author victoriaaa Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 possibly im being too premature. he kicked me to the curb quite cruelly after one argument so I wouldnt put it past him to do it again. but things had been bad for a while. also i feel he may want to be just friends at times. I'm sorry if i gave any new members false hope. A break up means broken tbh. i think he may be contacting me as he is lonely too. people want what they cant have and once theyve got it it doesnt look too appealing
Author victoriaaa Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 I am also worried he will find out I slept with someone else 2 weeks back. I know I am single but I'd rather he didnt know. Silly mistake but I was vulnerable ad my self esteem was rock bottom. I am totally on my guard now. It seems more hassle than its worth now
Author victoriaaa Posted July 10, 2011 Author Posted July 10, 2011 ok so NC should be followed. met up with him a few times and he says we are just friends. Told him to go away and hopefully I will stick to it. I really didnt have the upper hand at all! I guess this is a lesson, once you break up with someone thats it.
loverboy1984 Posted July 10, 2011 Posted July 10, 2011 Ive noticed its usually the guy who comes back during NC. Ive rarely seen a girl dump a guy then come back once the guy went NC.
CaliBabe Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Either way, congrats! You are living the dream, hope I can have this success. I know NC is hard, so well done.
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