lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 My ex broke it off with me via text on July 4th and I haven't been coping well. I have not contacted her in any way since then (nor been contacted), but it has been an extremely long and painful 3 days. Here's the thing: I have a lot of my stuff at her apartment--clothes, DVDs, even a basketball. I have a slight impulse to get in touch with her about getting my stuff back, but if I'm being honest with myself its not for the right reason. The right reason would be that I want everything back to help sever ties and move on. But my motivation is basically to speak to her again, because my biggest fear right now is that she will never speak to me again... and that situation would compel her to. Still, I don't think it's a good idea... When does one typically get to the point where they can ask for their stuff back? I don't want to go to her apartment when she's not there because I think that's creepy (I do have the key). I also lent her a substantial amount of money in the past 6 months. I feel like eventually she's going to get in contact with me about repaying it, she's classy like that. I wish I could just avoid that conversation. I gave her the money because I wanted to help, and didn't really have any intention on collecting when I gave it. I still don't, I made that decision at a time when we were very close, and I don't regret it. Is this a healthy attitude or should I just want all of my ****/money back right now?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 first choose whether you actually want the stuff back or not, I told my ex to either keep all my crap or to just throw it out. If you find that you actually do want it back then do it as soon as possible. better to get it done and over with than to wait a while, go get it, and find that you are reliving the break up all over again.
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I'm sorry to hear your situation and that it happened such a short time ago. To answer you question, I would ask one of her friends or family to go and get your stuff. Avoid trying to talk to her at all costs if you can. You have a key so in getting someone to get your stuff back they can give her the key back. It's a really hard situation to go through and we are all here to help you get through it. You seem to be taking is alright right now. Been down this road before?
Author lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 I'm sorry to hear your situation and that it happened such a short time ago. To answer you question, I would ask one of her friends or family to go and get your stuff. Avoid trying to talk to her at all costs if you can. You have a key so in getting someone to get your stuff back they can give her the key back. It's a really hard situation to go through and we are all here to help you get through it. You seem to be taking is alright right now. Been down this road before? I'm not taking it well at all. I spent the entire night since I got home at 7:30 not really watching TV--couldn't focus, still staring at my phone waiting for the call that won't come. All day at work I'm taking bathroom breaks to cry in the privacy of a stall. I'm 23, have only been in 3 real relationships, but have never felt the way I feel about this girl (2 years together). This is the only place I feel comfortable expressing just how devastated I am. My friends don't really understand how I'm feeling. As for my stuff, at this point I feel like I should just buy new ****. I don't know if I want to replay the experience of going to her apartment to pick up my stuff over and over again in my head. Seems like a really ****ty thing to have to remember.
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 No dude, I hear you. Most of us feel your pain. Heck, I still sometimes wait for a call from her, knowing it wont help, and I did the same thing at work. It sucks man, and then you day dream about how you can get her back, possibly by hurting yourself or getting in a major accident, but when you come back to reality... It's almost unbearable. Waiting for death to take you and you ask GOD why me, I'm a good person right? Why did such a terrible thing happen to me then? You can't keep dwelling on it man, I know it's easy to say, but a lot of us have some fresh wounds about it. Just check my tread out, I got a TON of advice that has helped me get out of the way your feeling. It's only been a Month since we broke up, she's with someone else and It's only been a Week since i last talked to her... I feel as if I'm waiting for a dead person to come back to life. Check out my tread bro, it will help with the advice that is on there. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t285713/ WE.. and I mean LS is here to help you through every grueling moment you may go through.
69ways Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Reminds me my problems. 5 months ago she said she will send them, my clothes, she has kept them and the engagement ring, i told her to give everything to her new bf
Author lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Don't be such a pushover. She isn't classy first of all. If classy means texting you on a holiday and breaking up with you because she had no respect or any regard for you being the goddamn boyfriend, then I never wanna be referred to as classy ever again in my life. Don't be a pushover. She didn't have enough respect for you to break up with U with decency then don't have respect for her. Take back what is rightfully yours. Get your stuff back at the house, and if she calls (you shouldn't pick up though) and it is about the money, take that back **** too. Dk why you would wanna be with someone like that anyway, have some self-respect. I guess I just haven't even had enough time to process everything and let my reaction turn to anger at the way I was discarded from her life. It's not easy because all the good memories from our relationship are tormenting me all day, knowing what I'll miss forever. I don't want to be disrespectful, I mean what's the point? It's not going to make me feel better. This will probably all change in the next few days. I feel like I have cause to be very angry at some of what went down. Sooner or later the anger will really hit me.
sd89 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 It sucks man, and then you day dream about how you can get her back, possibly by hurting yourself or getting in a major accident, but when you come back to reality... It's almost unbearable. Thought I was crazy for thinking that!
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