nkerenia Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 (edited) I was visting family in a small town on the west coast and due to lack of other things to do, we visted the same casino several times while I was there. On our first visit, I noticed an employee staring at me and smiling at me every time he walked by. On the second visit, he did the same and recognized me from before. There was even an instance where I had my cousin look at my eye because it was irritated and I said "is it all red" and he was passing by and overheard me, and winked and said "no you look good". On our last trip there, two days before I went home, I worked up the nerve to talk to him. He was surprised to learn I was from another state, and he asked me about where I was from and how long I was in town. He told me he wished I had talked to him a few days ago and he said I have beautiful eyes. When I left, I gave him my number and told him to call me before I left Tuesday night. He smiled and he said he was off work on Tuesday. I checked my phone all night that night, the next night and all day Tuesday but never heard from him Now, I'm looking for opinions on why he never contacted me... of course there are many potential reasons - maybe he wasn't attracted to me anymore after talking to me, he got busy, lost the number, didn't want to get involved with someone on the opposite coast. I would think if he didn't intend on calling me and didn't want to hang out with me, he wouldn't have bothered complimenting me, saying he wished I talked to him sooner, and telling me he was off work the last day I was free. He also thought I was a local until I told him where I was from, so he talked and flirted thinking I lived in the area. The reason I am sweating this is because I am actually going to be moving there in the fall to attend grad school and it would be nice to know someone else when I get there. I did not get his last name so I have no way to find him on facebook. I really have no way to contact him unless I call the casino and ask for him which I don't want to do - it would be awkward and probably weird. Plus I don't want to get him in trouble. My friend half joking half serious suggested I hire an investigator or even just some person to go into the casino and find out his last name so I can look for him online and on social networking sites. Sounds crazy, especially if he found out I did that, but it makes sense. I also don't want to go to extremes to contact him if he has no interest in me, seeing as how he didn't call. What would you do in my situation??? Edited July 8, 2011 by nkerenia
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 This sounds like a situation where you wait until "fall", when you move, and then return to the casino and look for him. Having a 'muse' there in place just might prove helpful to your morale early in the school year. I suspect that he didn't call because there seemed a finite "limit" on what he could pursue with you, and you might not hold that against him if/when you see him again. Should you be interested in contacting him... by all means, write a letter to the casino, with his name clearly in the address, and as much DETAIL as you can offer to make SURE your letter gets to the right person. If his name is Joe, then add a lot more detail than you would if his name is Carson, etc. In the letter, don't go into a giant story. Instead, just make it clear who the letter is from (in HIS mind, not necessarily that of anybody else at the casino)... and maybe include your e-mail address (even if you need to make up a new e-mail account to give him, which you will check a couple of times after the letter gets there). It would be a good idea to let him know that you're moving nearby for school in the fall. If that doesn't pique his interest, nothing probably will. Hope this inspires you.
Author nkerenia Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 This sounds like a situation where you wait until "fall", when you move, and then return to the casino and look for him. Having a 'muse' there in place just might prove helpful to your morale early in the school year. I suspect that he didn't call because there seemed a finite "limit" on what he could pursue with you, and you might not hold that against him if/when you see him again. Should you be interested in contacting him... by all means, write a letter to the casino, with his name clearly in the address, and as much DETAIL as you can offer to make SURE your letter gets to the right person. If his name is Joe, then add a lot more detail than you would if his name is Carson, etc. In the letter, don't go into a giant story. Instead, just make it clear who the letter is from (in HIS mind, not necessarily that of anybody else at the casino)... and maybe include your e-mail address (even if you need to make up a new e-mail account to give him, which you will check a couple of times after the letter gets there). It would be a good idea to let him know that you're moving nearby for school in the fall. If that doesn't pique his interest, nothing probably will. Hope this inspires you. This is great advice, thanks for the reply. My biggest fear is looking like a "loser" or someone desperate. I considered writing a letter... if you were in his position, would you be flattered by this or creeped out? Since I only spoke to him that one time briefly, I don't want to come off as crazy or overbearing. Hearing someone else suggest this idea though gives me more confidence. I'll be considering it. Thanks again!
Tayla Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 in the gaming industry its frowned upon to date the patrons. They can be hospitable and friendly without the 'add on" of chumminess. He may have considered that when deciding to refrain from calling. Be pleased that you have the knack to intrigue someone and move on. I personally think going the length of tracking him down is a wee bit much given that you barely know him or if he's in a committed relations. He is by all means a stranger for the most part.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 This is great advice, thanks for the reply. My biggest fear is looking like a "loser" or someone desperate. I considered writing a letter... if you were in his position, would you be flattered by this or creeped out? Since I only spoke to him that one time briefly, I don't want to come off as crazy or overbearing. Hearing someone else suggest this idea though gives me more confidence. I'll be considering it. Thanks again! He said you "looked good"... and later wished that you'd have talked to him days earlier. You clearly have the green light to interact with him again. He would be flattered and sort of excited by any effort you made to contact him. I don't think it was any accident that he happened to choose the words: "You look good" when your cousin was examining your eye. Creating a secondary e-mail address for this purpose is perhaps as important in terms of screening him on the chance he isn't all he is cracked up to be, as it is for merely separating your main e-mail from this other interest. As for "the gaming industry"... what Tayla says is perhaps more applicable to women wearing next to nothing while waitressing at casinos than it is to the fully-dressed males on staff. Furthermore, as you are probably not going to be a steady gambler at his casino, it doesn't matter too much that you might have met there initially. Don't be dissuaded by that.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I'm guessing he didn't want to get into an LDR, or maybe he's just someone who has an eye for the women and chats up women a lot, some people are charming and flattering. I'm guessing you didn't say to him you'll be moving there? I wouldn't contact the casino, it sounds OTT, I'd wait until I move there and then go back and see if he's still there and then see how things go. I was visting family in a small town on the west coast and due to lack of other things to do, we visted the same casino several times while I was there. On our first visit, I noticed an employee staring at me and smiling at me every time he walked by. On the second visit, he did the same and recognized me from before. There was even an instance where I had my cousin look at my eye because it was irritated and I said "is it all red" and he was passing by and overheard me, and winked and said "no you look good". On our last trip there, two days before I went home, I worked up the nerve to talk to him. He was surprised to learn I was from another state, and he asked me about where I was from and how long I was in town. He told me he wished I had talked to him a few days ago and he said I have beautiful eyes. When I left, I gave him my number and told him to call me before I left Tuesday night. He smiled and he said he was off work on Tuesday. I checked my phone all night that night, the next night and all day Tuesday but never heard from him Now, I'm looking for opinions on why he never contacted me... of course there are many potential reasons - maybe he wasn't attracted to me anymore after talking to me, he got busy, lost the number, didn't want to get involved with someone on the opposite coast. I would think if he didn't intend on calling me and didn't want to hang out with me, he wouldn't have bothered complimenting me, saying he wished I talked to him sooner, and telling me he was off work the last day I was free. He also thought I was a local until I told him where I was from, so he talked and flirted thinking I lived in the area. The reason I am sweating this is because I am actually going to be moving there in the fall to attend grad school and it would be nice to know someone else when I get there. I did not get his last name so I have no way to find him on facebook. I really have no way to contact him unless I call the casino and ask for him which I don't want to do - it would be awkward and probably weird. Plus I don't want to get him in trouble. My friend half joking half serious suggested I hire an investigator or even just some person to go into the casino and find out his last name so I can look for him online and on social networking sites. Sounds crazy, especially if he found out I did that, but it makes sense. I also don't want to go to extremes to contact him if he has no interest in me, seeing as how he didn't call. What would you do in my situation???
HeavenOrHell Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Just realised this is from July, it was bumped thanks to a spammer, so it's probably irrelevant now! What happened in the end?
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