Geya Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I've been feeling really down lately, after realizing how much time and brain energy spent on that relationship, when I see all of my friends having a good time and not stressing about anything, not hurting or anything It just really depresses me (I was in that ****ty relationship for almost 2 years)
TheHurtProcess Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I've been feeling really down lately, after realizing how much time and brain energy spent on that relationship, when I see all of my friends having a good time and not stressing about anything, not hurting or anything It just really depresses me (I was in that ****ty relationship for almost 2 years) I'm in the same boat. It can be quite annoying at times. I just wish I could just be me, the person I was before the relationship and not have a worry in the world all over again. One day it will happen. It's just not coming fast enough.
Stupid Girl Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I'm with both you guys my entire 20s was spent in my last relationship.
RodG Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I've been feeling really down lately, after realizing how much time and brain energy spent on that relationship, when I see all of my friends having a good time and not stressing about anything, not hurting or anything It just really depresses me (I was in that ****ty relationship for almost 2 years) C'est la vie. Can you take any of it as a learning experience? Sure it is over now, but it couldn't have been all that bad, all the time. The hurt and stress will pass surely.
FinOuch Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 My entire 20s were spent on a marriage that I was the only real participant in. After some time off for recovery, the first year and some odd months of my 30s were spent on a surprisingly functional relationship with a d*uchebag who would ultimately dump me for a girl he had met two weeks prior. I feel old as h*ll. I probably wouldn't care if I didn't want kids and a family. Oh well. Not much I can do about it now. But it's soooooo true that youth is wasted on the young! Man, if I only knew what I know now!
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I know right, I was in my prime when I met my girl. I was 18 about to go to college, had game, bright future. Then what happens you ask? Yea I meet her, 2 1/2 younger than me, I funk out of one college cause I spent all my time with her almost do the same at the second college. Then when she enters college, I get put on the back burner, even her work comes before me. I mean I put her first and she puts me third behind college and work. BALLS! What's that about? So much for 50/50, and now I'm 23 and she's 20 and I'm stuck in an apartment by myself on LS (which I really don't mind) instead of living in a house cause I have an awesome paying job from graduating supposidly 2 years ago! No I have 1 1/2 years left now and I'm alone. WASTED YOUTH!
lonelynyc Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I know right, I was in my prime when I met my girl. I was 18 about to go to college, had game, bright future. Then what happens you ask? Yea I meet her, 2 1/2 younger than me, I funk out of one college cause I spent all my time with her almost do the same at the second college. Then when she enters college, I get put on the back burner, even her work comes before me. I mean I put her first and she puts me third behind college and work. BALLS! What's that about? So much for 50/50, and now I'm 23 and she's 20 and I'm stuck in an apartment by myself on LS (which I really don't mind) instead of living in a house cause I have an awesome paying job from graduating supposidly 2 years ago! No I have 1 1/2 years left now and I'm alone. WASTED YOUTH! You're still only 23! You have so much time to live the type of life you want to live. I see immigrants everyday who came here in their late 20s/30s knowing little English and were able to get all sorts of advanced business degrees. Making bad decisions in your teens and early 20s doesn't screw your whole life up--unless you are a felon. You just have to start living more for yourself, and kind of be more selfish. You made a young girl your whole life. She probably wasn't ready to be that for anyone. I made a similar mistake, I put all my eggs in one basket so to speak. Instead of exploring new social opportunities, I spent all of my free time with my ex. I let her become my social life. I loved it while it lasted, but I became too dependent. And I'm living with the consequences right now--it really sucks. I think a lot of women our age (ladies, I'm sure you feel the way about men in this age group) are just not ready to stand by their man. They want to live their lives free of restraint. It sucks when you develop a bond, but you simply can't make someone your life. If you do, you have no insurance once they leave--you just get played.
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I hear you lonely, it is all to clear now. Right where you stand, I am next to you. It's terrible and were both retarded to let this happen to us knowing it would happen. I know she wasn't ready for me, just cause she was so young. I even tried to keep her from doing things (aka growing) so that she would be like " Oh what's the world like" but that made is soooooo much worse, cause then the workload became 95/5 and I was wearing myself out. LOL. Love is blind, but when you come to terms that they have to go sometime, it's easier to cope with. G.I.G.S... I hate it so much, I could punch everyone with it in the face, but won't cause I don't like to fight LOL. Other people get hurt while I wonder what happened lol.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah, I was going to say... I'm 28 (going on 29) and my ex is going on 22. I wish I was still 23. I knew what I was getting myself into. It seems as if I was in denial to believe her BS about wanting to settle down with me, get married, have kids, etc. Then she pulls the same crap your ex does. Goes to school, gets a job, starts partying all the time with her friends and then she puts me dead last on the priorities list. Oh well, she'll eventually realize what she had. It'll be much too late by then.
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Yes sir hurt I agree also. I do believe in second chances though, and if cards are played right and everything is exactly precise then I would consider taking her back. If it was all out of her system and she was ready to settle down, but like you said, by then we will be so done with them that I actually might forget her name lol. I'm really bad with names.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Yes sir hurt I agree also. I do believe in second chances though, and if cards are played right and everything is exactly precise then I would consider taking her back. If it was all out of her system and she was ready to settle down, but like you said, by then we will be so done with them that I actually might forget her name lol. I'm really bad with names. I've given my ex so many chances... I believe this would be about her tenth chance now. A second chance happened years ago, towards the beginning of our relationship. She's finally run out. You also have to realize that second chances aren't always the best idea. Because the other person might just try to take advantage of your forgiveness and next you'll be giving her a third chance, then a fourth and so on. I'm done with second chances. I've noticed that people only take them for granted anyway. It's the brutal truth. If it happens once, it's only going to happen again and again. Remember, history repeats itself. There's no changing what already is. Don't for a second think otherwise.
Crisis Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Understand completely hurt, but you see this second chance would come after 5 years of a relationship and no other thought of break-up before. She knows that if she broke up with me it was OVER. That's probably why she hasn't tried to come back. She knows I'm not stupid and will take her back right away. Like I said, I believe in second chances (with her anyways), and I only say that because she would have to seriously swallow her pride and ego just to think about coming back, and if she does that then I know for sure that she wants to come back on her own account.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Understand completely hurt, but you see this second chance would come after 5 years of a relationship and no other thought of break-up before. She knows that if she broke up with me it was OVER. That's probably why she hasn't tried to come back. She knows I'm not stupid and will take her back right away. Like I said, I believe in second chances (with her anyways), and I only say that because she would have to seriously swallow her pride and ego just to think about coming back, and if she does that then I know for sure that she wants to come back on her own account. Perhaps... Some (most) people are just too damn stubborn. Even if they do feel anything whatsoever, you may not hear from them for that reason alone.
BrighterDaze Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I wouldnt worry so much about the time that passed, guys. We learn new things and the fact that you are all still young and have many, many years to find the right person, is the key. Luckily, you were not in relationships that lasted 15-25 years!!!!!! That's when you really look back and wonder, if you truly lost something. Keep your heads up. You are better and more properly prepared for future relationships now.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I wouldnt worry so much about the time that passed, guys. We learn new things and the fact that you are all still young and have many, many years to find the right person, is the key. Luckily, you were not in relationships that lasted 15-25 years!!!!!! That's when you really look back and wonder, if you truly lost something. Keep your heads up. You are better and more properly prepared for future relationships now. Exactly. Great choice of words. I couldn't have said it better my friend.
BeavisMom62 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Wow! You are so lucky that you ARE so young. What about a wasted life? Here I am, almost 50! (cringe) and have nothing to show for my life, but a good job. which I guess isn't "nothing". I married my first husband at 20, wasted 10 years with him (well, we did have a son, so not a total waste). He was extremely abusive, drug addict, alcoholic. I was basically single for five years, but did have a boyfriend for almost three of those years. Man, being single was the BEST time of my life. Got married again in 2001, after living with him for 2 years. Another TEN years goes by. Here I am again, with another loser. STBX is an unemployed, drug addict, alcoholic. I am leaving at the end of the month though, hurray!!!!! I've wasted all of these years and TONS of money on these guys. Nothing in the bank for retirement, losing the home that we paid for with my GI loan, filing bankruptcy.... But at least I can look forward to being single again. I can't wait.
Author Geya Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 ^ I'm glad you feel that way yay for being single I want to be single for as long as possible, I'm 19 and wasted around 2 years with a complete loser (okay maybe not . or maybe he was, what I DO know he's not relationship material, the relationship with him was the sh*ttiest relationship ever, just after going out of it that I look back and think WTH was I thinking, so much thoughts, so much pain, so much hurt and brain energy was spent on him and that cr@ppy relationship lol) But yes we have the rest of our lives now and we learned major life lessons early that will help us through life, I thought I could never get over him I literally believed that but look at me now, I'm almost there and 100% positive that it'll happen! So if I can do THAT, I wonder what else I can do and go through
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