nicky22 Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 My first boyfriend of 2 years is moving in about a month now. He does not want a LDR and neither do I because I can not trust him (he has lied a couple of times and cheated). However, we have reconciled and originally I was looking forward to him moving but now I can't help but look at a calendar and get upset. The thing is he wants us to be together until he moves and wants me to be there when he leaves. He wants to stay in contact and plans we stay together until things fizzle on their own. Even after he wants us to talk and eventually become friends and always tells me I could always come to him for advice or if i need to talk. My major concern is watching him leave, I'm sick of looking at his moving date as the end of everything. It's even hard now to enjoy the time we have now because I see him and just get upset. I was planning to end it early to ween myself off him but I do want to enjoy the time we have left. He has invited me to come down and see him and he will come up but idk if i could watch him leave again knowing it might be the last time I see him. Any advice will help, I've talked to him many times and he wants to do anything to help me cope with him leaving.
Cee Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 I had a relationship end when I moved away. He was a soul mate, but long distance wasn't in the cards. I was a basket case for a long time and even got into the most horrible rebound relationship ever. But somehow, I rebuilt my life and now wouldn't trade it for the world. The clock ticking is horrible. I know it well. I still can remember the final moments with my boyfriend before I got on the plane. I said crazy stuff to him and made up a fantasy that someday we would be together. He was kind and let me talk crazy. He must have been dying inside when I talked, since I was the one who chose to leave. All I can tell you is that once he's gone, you will be incredibly sad, but will feel a small sense of relief. The finality of a relationship ending because of distance brings some safety. You can't run into him at the store or get drunk and beg him to come to your bed. That fading away thing probably won't work for you. It's probably best to tell him to go NC. Tell him if he misses you, he can mail you a letter. That's pretty old school, but it reminds him to be careful when contacting you.
Author nicky22 Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Thanks for your help I'm getting hit with this all at once since my friend is also going off to college so it's like I'm dealing with 2 separations. And I'm 19 so I know I'm still young and I'm not thinking about settling down any time soon so losing him isn't like im losing my soul mate.
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