Teknoe Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 In today's age where texting, IM'ing on GChat or FaceBook messaging is so prevailing, ladies, isn't it nice when a man still picks up his phone, gives you a ring and asks you out? Even if you reject him, don't you respect him a little bit for doing something that is quickly becoming a lost art? Guys -- I think too many of us are hiding behind the texting and emails. Quit asking girls out through written word. Call her, and verbally ask her out! I had a conversation over the 4th of July weekend with four ladies in their mid 20's. They all said even if they reject a guy, if he asks her in person or over the phone, they can at least respect him. Too many guys nowadays are taking the easy way out by texting or emailing. Ladies of LoveShack I would love your 2 cents. And to all the guys here, next time you ask out a girl or your crush, do it in person or over the phone! Let's take back our manhood and big boy pants Even if we get rejected, we go down swinging like a man. Then we respectfully bow out and part ways with the lass. Simple, right? No more text/email date invites! C-A-L-L her!
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Yes - the guy that calls gets a bit more respect but ultimately - my yes/no answer will depend on other factors.
Bullet Proof Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I am a bit shy on the phone (and my phone's reception sucks and is hard to hear the other person) - so I don't mind texting one bit at all. Is a phone call a step above and will they get more respect? Yes, but overall my answer is not dependent on what form of communication they use to ask me.
LittleTiger Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I'm older than the average lady on here but if a guy asked me out by text or messaging, the answer would be a flat 'no'. If he doesn't have the guts to pick up the phone or ask me in person then he's not the guy for me.
Star Gazer Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 It's nice to be called for a date rather than emailed, FB'd or texted, but I don't require it. And I've found that those who call are honestly no less chivalrous on and after the date than those that ask via other means.
vsmini Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I'm older than the average lady on here but if a guy asked me out by text or messaging, the answer would be a flat 'no'. If he doesn't have the guts to pick up the phone or ask me in person then he's not the guy for me. Same - I'm 28 so I'm not out of the text/email generation. I see so many of my friends getting all worked up over texts and I think it's the stupidest thing on earth. Well he treats me like crap but he sends me a goodnight text every night. Texting is the loophole of good communication. People can use it (and often do) to con others into thinking it's a true substitute but it's not. Guy has to call me. I don't engage in any of the listed behavior via text: -serious conversations -serious conversation starters -passive aggressive comments to start arguments -fights -initiating first or second dates I've seen my friends in their 40's engage in this. Pathetic.
iris219 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I agree that it's nice when a guy calls, IF I want to go out with him. If I don't want to go out with him, I'd prefer he text, so I can text back a quick, "no, sorry"--but of course he wouldn't know I didn't want to go. While I'd prefer a phone call, I wouldn't say no if someone I liked texted. I would, however, be disappointed.
Eeyore79 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 If he doesn't have the guts to pick up the phone or ask me in person then he's not the guy for me. ^^This. Plus being put on the spot makes it much harder to say no, so a guy might at least get one date and have a chance to win my affections. It's much easier to reject someone via Facebook or text etc. Also the whole flirting / asking out process creates a lot of attraction, so I'm more likely to say yes to a face-to-face approach.
sm1tten Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I don't care what format the invitation comes in, so long as it is not ambiguous.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I agree with you that asking someone out by text or e-mail is wimpy and off-putting. I don't think I'd ever say yes to an invitation extended in those ways.
elastica Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I am with the minority on this one. In fact, texting or calling - I don't see any difference, as both methods involve a phone. Of course talking is a little more personal, but you can get very personal in a message as well. Main point: if someone wants to ask me out or discuss important issue, they will have to do it in person.
Cee Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 My 24-year old boyfriend called me on the phone for a first date and that got my attention. I don't remember the last time I gave a cute guy my number and have him actually call me. At best, I get asked out on a date via text. And more often than not, the guy gets my number and disappears. A phone call isn't going to make or break anything, but it's definitely a positive for me.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I'm older than the average lady on here but if a guy asked me out by text or messaging, the answer would be a flat 'no'. If he doesn't have the guts to pick up the phone or ask me in person then he's not the guy for me. This is idiotic. Texting is not about having "no guts". Sometimes it's just more convenient to text, especially for people who have busy lives are not always available to chat on the phone.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Guy has to call me. I don't engage in any of the listed behavior via text: -serious conversations -serious conversation starters -passive aggressive comments to start arguments -fights -initiating first or second dates I agree that texting is not a good medium for serious conversations, but what's wrong with asking someone out on a date via text? You are just being silly.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Sometimes it's just more convenient to text, especially for people who have busy lives are not always available to chat on the phone. If a guy can't find 5 minutes to call and ask me out... well, that's a bad sign from the start.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Texting is OK down the road for relationships that have already been established but no way good to ask someone out for the first time (or early on in the relationship where it's still about finding out if you like each other's style and demeanor). There are lots of little thins that matter during that "get to know" phase and texting would cut those out at some peril. It's also some cheezy chicken stool to ask someome out by text if you ask me.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 If a guy can't find 5 minutes to call and ask me out... well, that's a bad sign from the start. It's not about finding 5 minutes to call, it's about both being available to talk at the same time. Let's say he works long hours and by the time he leaves work you may be having dinner or doing yoga or whatever. He calls you and you are not available and when you call him back he can't pick up the phone because he's at the gym or maybe he had to go to bed early or something. Texting is easier because you are pretty much guaranteed to get a response (if not an instantaneous one) even if the other person is busy at the moment. Texting, calling, emailing, etc. are just means of communication. The ultimate goal is to meet in person, so who the hell cares which method is used to arrange that meeting.
Imajerk17 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Yeah, it's a dilemma. And we guys think harder about the call/text thing when we suspect that the woman's interest is thin. If I knew the girl is definitely going to pick up, I would call. But very often she will not. Then you have to leave a voicemail. I'd much rather send a text than leave a voicemail, as a text is so much easier for her to return than a phone call. Perhaps a solution is to dial her number, and then if she doesn't pick up, send a text...
somedude81 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I prefer to call when trying to make plans. Usually it's a lot faster than a lot of back and forth texts.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 It's not about finding 5 minutes to call, it's about both being available to talk at the same time. It is very unusual that people's schedules are in such conflict that they can't talk on the phone for 5 minutes. I work for myself and am my own boss, so I'm reachable most of the time. And the vast majority of people are not that difficult to reach. Even a phone message is far more personal and communicates much stronger interest than a text message.
PhillyDude Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 If a woman likes you it don't matter if the guy askes her out on text or the phone. She asked me out over text-lol
Feelsgoodman Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 It is very unusual that people's schedules are in such conflict that they can't talk on the phone for 5 minutes. I work for myself and am my own boss, so I'm reachable most of the time. And the vast majority of people are not that difficult to reach. Even a phone message is far more personal and communicates much stronger interest than a text message. Playing phone tag can present a problem when trying to arrange a first date. In any event, if a woman is interested in a guy, she will meet him even if the date is arranged via text. If she doesn't, it means she wasn't all that interested to begin with.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Playing phone tag can present a problem when trying to arrange a first date. In any event, if a woman is interested in a guy, she will meet him even if the date is arranged via text. If she doesn't, it means she wasn't all that interested to begin with. If I were really interested in a guy and he asked me out via text, I would text back and tell him to give me a call.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 If I were really interested in a guy and he asked me out via text, I would text back and tell him to give me a call. Seems like an unnecessary step...why not give him a call yourself if speaking on the phone is so important to you?
alethean Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 Actually, I don't prefer a phone call. I hate talking on the phone. So by default I like text better. If at all possible, I'd like them to ask me in person. If not, then text is fine. However, although I don't like talking on the phone, it's not as though I would ignore someone I am interested in were they to ask me on the phone. Email is a bit weird, but whatever.
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