Ho Hum Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Bare with me, I'll try not to ramble. 14 months ago I told my husband I wanted to separate. I don't need to go in to the whys etc. It's not the first time we've separated. We've known each other for 24 years, been together for 20 years, have 4 kids. He didn't say much, he was sad and upset, but he moved out and left me at home with the kids. I was happier and fine, and so were the kids who at that point he saw regularly. I started to date someone in December and the ex went off the rails. Ultimately he contributed to that little fling ending after only 3 months, and it was certainly not a big love affair! He also didn't see the kids for the 3 months during this period. After that we bizarrely got on ok and hung out together with the inevitable boundaries getting crossed once or twice. He declared his undying love for me in April and I backed off saying "Nooooo, it's not going back there!" Once again he went non contact with me or the kids! This week I bit the bullet as I was sick of all the crap. I knew he had a new girlfriend and was ok with it, I just wanted to clear the air with him seeing the kids. It was ok until until he told me that he has been going out with her for 6 weeks and is in love with her. As I said at the beginning we had a couple of years as best mates before we got together and it sure as Hell took a damn slight longer than 6 weeks for the "L" word to be bandied around! Try 5 years and the birth of our eldest!! I've never aid it to anyone else since being with him and I am devestated. I feel it's made a mockery of the last 20 years of my life. Our entire relationship and our children are nothing if he can fall in love so quickly. It's so hard to explain. It's not that I want him, I don't think, it's not that I don't want anyone else to have him. It's just I now feel bereft and utterly unloved. I guess my question is, is this normal?
robf1971 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 I feel it's made a mockery of the last 20 years of my life. Our entire relationship and our children are nothing if he can fall in love so quickly Do you think there is any chance that you wanting to leave your husband might have made him feel that YOU were making a mockery of 20 years of marriage from HIS point of view? You reap what you sow, so maybe you should just be happy for him.
PegNosePete Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 Why haven't you divorced him? And after being separated for 14 months why do you give a cr@p what he tells other women - especially since you've been dating other guys??
Clubman35 Posted July 7, 2011 Posted July 7, 2011 You were the one who wanted the separation, were you not? You went out and started a relationship. Was he just suppose to sit around and wait for you to call him back home? Be careful what you wish for.....
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