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how to get over when someone break up with u in a cold cowardly way :(

VELVET21

By VELVET21
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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VELVET21 Member

VELVET21

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i know theres no good way to break up with someone..but what does breaking up over texts,emailed says about the person? I mean i know it depends on the relationship but for real!!! dumping someone this way just seems so immature,heartless and cold...how can you recover from the feeling of anger and hurt knowing that someone who said loved u cared about you didnt care enought for at least a fone call

RodG Established Member

RodG

Posted
Posted

Use it to get over them. It's what I am doing. Dump me over text because you're too selfish, and it'd probably be too hard for you to hear me as you do it? Wow, I really messed up thinking you were the one for me.

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VELVET21 Member

VELVET21

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Use it to get over them. It's what I am doing. Dump me over text because you're too selfish, and it'd probably be too hard for you to hear me as you do it? Wow, I really messed up thinking you were the one for me.

 

Im trying to think of it that way, I know that if someone does that its probably not worth it and I start NC today..but its not getting any better..what i feel right now is that it was all a game for him and even tho i tried to make things better he wont even meet me halfway so he just got tired/bored of me and dumped me like that :/

Forever Learning Established Member

Forever Learning

Posted
Posted (edited)

Try to keep in mind it is not a reflection of you it is a reflection of his character that he dumped you this way. It is cowardly, selfish, and lacking integrity.

 

Mostly, it is truly cowardly.

 

It also has a very 'dishonest' feel to it.

 

And the coldness is shocking, stunning and frightening. Mind boggling. Bizarre. Makes you question the entire relationship from start to finish. Yes I know, I've been there. It's sick.

 

Once the fog lifts from your mind, you will see this more clearly. You will question who he was as a person more and more. In the future, when you meet new guys, you will listen to their words and watch their actions, and envision if they are capable of dumping someone in this manner. You will watch how they treat other people, and you will pick up clues as to who they are. You will be more 'aware' and therefore, not as likely to fall for another coward lacking integrity, like your ex.

 

You are not alone. Many others (myself included) have been dumped in a similar manner and it is very hurtful and disgusting. Especially when it is completely undeserved. Again, it is a reflection of him, not you.

Edited by Forever Learning
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Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

Posted
Posted
Try to keep in mind it is not a reflection of you it is a reflection of his character that he dumped you this way. It is cowardly, selfish, and lacking integrity.

 

Mostly, it is truly cowardly.

 

It also has a very 'dishonest' feel to it.

 

Once the fog lifts from your mind, you will see this more clearly. You will question who he was as a person more and more. In the future, when you meet new guys, you will listen to their words and watch their actions, and envision if they are capable of dumping someone in this manner. You will watch how they treat other people, and you will pick up clues as to who they are. You will be more 'aware' and therefore, not as likely to fall for another coward lacking integrity, like your ex.

 

You are not alone. Many others (myself included) have been dumped in a similar manner and it is very hurtful and disgusting. Especially when it is completely undeserved. Again, it is a reflection of him, not you.

 

Spot on. They are cowards -> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t281186/

Ally-65 Member

Ally-65

Posted
Posted

I agree with Mack. It really says so much about the person. We think we know them. But do we?

It is a cowards way out. They are not dealing with emotions and they can't see ours either. They know that what they are doing sucks.

We are and will be always better than them. They dont deserve us, not one bit.

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kellyisme New Member

kellyisme

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I just went thru the exact same thing...and not even 1 week earlier he took me took me to NYC, shows, had a great time, told me he loved me, blah blah blah. After we had a disagreement he broke up with me via text. No explanation, no phone call, no email, not even a brief explanation via text. Nothing.

This was June 25th. The following Weds or Thurs I txted him asking for an explanation, got some sad sap story that he couldn't handle the emotions. whatever. He told me he loved me now, always will, but he still would not talk to me. it was a nice convo with no fighting. He wanted to stay friends.

 

I txted him day before yestdy. Keep in mind that I had been so hurt, like knife in heart, contemplated suicide, could not understand how he could throw me away like ystdy's garbage. I asked him again how could he treat me like that. by this point I was angry. We txtd back & forth, he was being nice; I told him he should have "manned up" and not taken the cowardly route, told him at least I didn't have to fake any more orgasms, and then told him to drop dead. I got last digs and I feel sssooo much better today. I have not cried in 2 days!

 

I am sure there are those here that may pass judgement but that's OK. I tried NC but it did not work for ME. this worked for ME, I feel so much better. Two wrongs don't make a right but I was desperate to do what I had to do!

 

Good luck to you. "If a man is stupid enough to walk away then be smart enough to let him go". HTH!

kellyisme New Member

kellyisme

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Posted

...and I totally agree with Mack05 and Ally.

 

we will be so much better off without these shallow people.

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VELVET21 Member

VELVET21

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I just went thru the exact same thing...and not even 1 week earlier he took me took me to NYC, shows, had a great time, told me he loved me, blah blah blah. After we had a disagreement he broke up with me via text. No explanation, no phone call, no email, not even a brief explanation via text. Nothing.

This was June 25th. The following Weds or Thurs I txted him asking for an explanation, got some sad sap story that he couldn't handle the emotions. whatever. He told me he loved me now, always will, but he still would not talk to me. it was a nice convo with no fighting. He wanted to stay friends.

 

I txted him day before yestdy. Keep in mind that I had been so hurt, like knife in heart, contemplated suicide, could not understand how he could throw me away like ystdy's garbage. I asked him again how could he treat me like that. by this point I was angry. We txtd back & forth, he was being nice; I told him he should have "manned up" and not taken the cowardly route, told him at least I didn't have to fake any more orgasms, and then told him to drop dead. I got last digs and I feel sssooo much better today. I have not cried in 2 days!

 

I am sure there are those here that may pass judgement but that's OK. I tried NC but it did not work for ME. this worked for ME, I feel so much better. Two wrongs don't make a right but I was desperate to do what I had to do!

 

Good luck to you. "If a man is stupid enough to walk away then be smart enough to let him go". HTH!

 

thats exactly what i want...to be able to talk to him get angry at him but he just wont do it he didnt answer my emails texts fone calls hes just pretending i never exist, he never met me..and thats the worst feeling.. knowing maybe he never really cared about me at all...thats why u can never trust anyone

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VELVET21 Member

VELVET21

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So then you'd know that no matter how he broke up with you, he did it because he was just plain selfish. So you know what you need to do in order to heal.

 

I know he was selfish and its probably not worth how i feel now, but still no matter how many times i repeat it to myself i cant stop thinking about wanting to talk to him and checking my email like crazy waiting for an answer that will never come.

guess i have to take it day by day

Geya Established Member

Geya

Posted
Posted

Ahh yes, it's like adding oil to fire, if you're guna breakup man up and say it, I had the worst breakup ever he just stopped replying to anything and acted as if I didn't exist.... can you believe that? I can't. I can't now, I don't know how I handled it but I'm still inshock, not about him he's a loser anyway but I'm inshock of why was I with such a... cold hearted coward?! I don't get it, wth I saw in him? He hurt me in many ways why was I with someone who does that? It disgust me and replulses me, but I'm a little over that I'm healing and healing properly... But still, sometimes I look back and wonder, WHAT THE HELL

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quankanne Established Member

quankanne

Posted
Posted

thats why u can never trust anyone sweetheart, it's the chickenshxts like your ex that you can't trust ... not everyone is a gutless, spineless wonder. I encountered something from a MANAGER at a former job, and it did a number on my self-esteem. It wasn't until I got another job, with a wonderful, wonderful boss, that I realized the problem wasn't me, it was the other guy ...

 

I think you'll find the same thing will happen when you open your heart to some who is going to respect you enough to be upfront when it comes to communicating, so never say never.

 

meanwhile, let all those negative feelings spend themselves and tell yourself that you deserve much more than your ex could have given you, that HE is the problem, not you. Because he's a chickenshxt for making that kind of decision on such a serious issue ...

 

hugs,

q

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