I am stupid... & an update.

[J0N]

I am stupid. I guess my curiosity got the best of me. I unblocked my ex and took a look at her profile, there really isn't anything new on there. I knew that she had moved away but now it is confirmed. Ughhh, it makes me sad. It has been soooo long since we broke up, I do not even know why I care anymore. Today was 255 days of NC, I am somewhat tempted to send her a message to see how she is doing but I know that would be a really bad idea. It appears that she is still single, apparently the guy I thought she left me for has been in a serious relationship for over a year too, so that theory is out. There were no new pictures on her profile that I had not seen before (we broke up 8.5 months ago). It looks like she has removed all of the pictures of me from her profile, so clearly she has expelled me from her life. Time to re-block and hit myself in the head for doing this.

 

So it looks like she left on her own free will and accord. I guess that is comforting, but I still miss her. It is official though, we live on opposite sides of the US. I know that I will never find out the true reason why she went so stone cold on me at the end of our relationship/friendship. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock, I honestly miss her in my life. But there is nothing I can do about it, and I know that I have to just let this sleeping dog lie. The sad thing is that I know there is ABSOLUTELY no way that we will ever see each other again or even be friends, let alone reconcile.

 

I know deep down that I need to move on, and I think I am making considerable progress (minus this mistake). I remember the last time I checked her profile, right before I de-friended her in December. It took me several days to get over it, this time though after a few minutes I don't really feel a whole lot. I guess the true test will be to see if I can fall asleep tonight, last time I peeked I didn't sleep through the night for several days. I also joined LS at that time, so that I could vent about it...

 

There is still a part of me that wishes that she was a part of my life. I am somewhat lonely, but I will not just f*** any girl to feel better about myself. I am not going to go there until it is somebody that I really care about, after all to me sex is only great when it has meaning. That is why my roster isn't getting any longer unless I find the right girl. I will not settle for just anyone. Believe me, especially since I have moved that I have had PLENTY of opportunities to take home girls, but as I said I do not do one nighters. I also am taking a little hiatus from dating, to focus on myself.

 

At this point, I wish her well. The thought of her with someone else does not feel as horrible as it used to, I *almost* don't even care. Ultimately if she had the courage to leave me because she wasn't happy (or because she got a once in a lifetime job opportunity) then good for her. I accepted it when she dumped me, I did not beg or plead, I simply respected her request, and walked away. I did this because I loved her and cared about her so much, that I wanted her to be happy even if I wasn't in the picture. As I have said in my previous posts, I do feel that I was blinded to a lot of red flags. I guess our physical relationship was so good that I turned a blind eye to real problems. We had personalities that tended to clash, she was type "A" and I am a pretty laid back guy. I know that this is the best outcome for the both of us, especially since we are starting our careers on the opposite sides of the country. So our moves away from where we met are not temporary, cementing the fact that we are never going to be a part of each other's lives.

 

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

 

I cannot change the outcome of our relationship, it is over. I must accept it. Looks like 255 steps forward, and 5 steps back.

[california15]

I enjoyed reading this... because I saw an inner strength resonating (sp?) from it which encourages me and probably some other readers as well.

 

And while you did 'technically' break NC by looking at her profile, in a way you didn't break NC. You didn't reach out to her or attempt to initiate communication with her. You didn't respond to a breadcrump text/call. You're strong for making it this far and don't stop now! (not that you sounded like you were)

 

I can sympathize with having a part of you still miss them/want them in your lives. I think its only natural since they were an important part of our lives at some point. you seem to have reached a 'healthy' missing them point - one where you're not going crazy or letting life pass you by.

 

Even reading your post again you sound like a genuine respectable guy and I think you've come to terms with alot of things and have accepted it well.

 

Great post.

 

Great prayer.

[thelovingkind]

I agree with california, seeing the title to this thread I expected another (understandable) sob story, but this is a story of strength and resilience, not stupidity. It is really quite inspiring.

 

I am somewhat lonely, but I will not just f*** any girl to feel better about myself.

 

This needs to be saved for posterity. Belongs on a tombstone or something.

[J0N]

Hopefully its not on my tombstone anytime soon... haha

 

I guess what has made this whole experience so difficult for me to grasp, and what is likely the reason that I have been hung up on this breakup for so long is that this is the first time I have ever been treated this way, by someone who I thought loved me. It is similar to a best friend robbing you. There will be a period of time where you are just stunned at the very thought of it even happening. I have no prior experience with these matters.

 

I am in a better place now though, I am living in a new city where finally nothing reminds me of our relationship. I have a great job and a whole life ahead of me. Hopefully I will find the right girl for me someday...

 

I wish I could revisit the past, but I know that that is not possible. It is time for me to expel her out of my heart and mind for good. She is a good person, but we did not work together. That is that...

[J0N]

Just for fun I google mapped the distance between where I live and the city that she moved to... 2,790.6 miles (for all of you that don't live in America that is 4,491.04 kilometers). So the odds of us casually running into each other on the street are not exactly very high. Especially considering the fact that she said that she told me she hated the city where I now live while we were together.

 

There is no choice but to leave her in the past, it was fun while it lasted but she is gone for good.

[bdoggle]

I'm glad you had this type thing happen to you at this time in your life. It sounds like you are relatively young and did not lose much more than your heart. Consider it wisdom for the future. I had the same thing happen to me at a much later time in my life, by what I thought was a more mature woman. We both had so much to lose by falling for one another and went for it. Or so I thought. She eventually vanished like a magic trick taking with her much more than my heart and soul. I have no closure on it, but working on finding that on my own. I think these relationships would not work anyway, but it is so unsatisfying to not know why they ended in such a cruel way. I believe the ones that dump like that have substantial issues that you are not aware of and absolutely no integrity. I periodically get weird text messages from my ex gf telling me of her continued love for me and it is hard for me to maintain NC until I realize the behavior doesn't match. You will eventually value this tough lesson though and find someone who will make your ex seem like the trash she probably is.

[D-Lish]

I can tell you one thing I've learned from experience- don't reach out to them for a friendly "hello, how are you doing" until you are completely over the person!

 

Having a quick, friendly exchange might seem nice- but you're going to get hit with a whole host of emotions afterward, and it will probably be a set back that you just don't need to deal with.

 

I just found out that my ex's Aunt died. As much as I'd like to let him know I'm thinking about him during a time like this, I just couldn't handle the set back were I to make contact.

 

Maybe someday it will be the right time to say "hey, how are you"... But if you are still pining for her, it's probably not a good idea.

[smudge21]

I do wonder how you would feel if you had read something on her profile a little different; a new guy, an engagement, wedding. I know from experience that reading an ex's profile and not seeing anything happening kind of makes us feel okay and has a calming affect. It's almost the opposite of when you see pictures of them having a great time and you feel terrible.

 

Try not to do it anymore as I fear that, like me, you could stumble onto something that sets you back once again. Although your post is about strength, it's clear you still have feelings for her and therefore could easily be set back. I looked at my ex's twitter to see a simply update about her being so happy with her new guy - right up until I read that I was where you are now, but now I've been set back again.

 

You're doing well and your post is very uplifting in a lot of ways to many of us. Keep going.

[melenkurion]

JON, this was just a small slipup. They are more or less inevitable along the way. I've done worse than that.

 

I am in a better place now though, I am living in a new city where finally nothing reminds me of our relationship. I have a great job and a whole life ahead of me. Hopefully I will find the right girl for me someday...

 

This is what counts. It really sounds like you are getting there. From you opening post, it sounds like you are very, very close. You've done everything right, you have never lost your dignity. You can be proud.

[radiodarcy]

I can tell you one thing I've learned from experience- don't reach out to them for a friendly "hello, how are you doing" until you are completely over the person!

 

Having a quick, friendly exchange might seem nice- but you're going to get hit with a whole host of emotions afterward, and it will probably be a set back that you just don't need to deal with.

 

I just found out that my ex's Aunt died. As much as I'd like to let him know I'm thinking about him during a time like this, I just couldn't handle the set back were I to make contact.

 

Maybe someday it will be the right time to say "hey, how are you"... But if you are still pining for her, it's probably not a good idea.

 

thank you. i needed to see this, the ex's birthday is coming up at the end of this month. and even though i won't be contacting him on that day. my friends think i'm being too harsh - - saying "it's just happy birthday". but for me -- it's not. whether he responds or not, those two words would be enough to set me back for months. it would be much too hard for me. and i put my feelings aside for him enough as it is.

 

JON -- i know what you mean about feeling a little let down about your ex moving on of her own accord and not because of anyone else. i snuck onto the yahoo account the ex and i used to chat on and saw that he was signed in on the screen name we use chat on. he has two screen names he signs in on -- the second one he had stopped signing in on for a few months. but started signing back in on it because for some reason he couldn't see me on the first one. for a second i thought "aw he still misses me" but then in that same moment i reminded myself, "if he really missed me he would have made more of an effort to reach out. oh and don't forget -- the second screen name is also the one he uses to chat with women he meets online :rolleyes:". needless to say that was enough to bring me back to reality! i signed right back out after that without bothering to contact himn

 

but -- it still stings that it's been four months and i haven't heard a peep out of him, in some ways it's helped me heal but it would be nice for some sign that he misses me. but then - - that would only bring about more false hope and i'd be right back where i started. *sigh*

[thelovingkind]

but -- it still stings that it's been four months and i haven't heard a peep out of him, in some ways it's helped me heal but it would be nice for some sign that he misses me. but then - - that would only bring about more false hope and i'd be right back where i started. *sigh*

 

Right there with you when it comes to this contradictory set of feelings.

 

Without my asking (his last message was wanting to "keep in touch" and I said okay, knowing full well I would be going into no initiated contact) my ex has not contacted me once since the break up.

 

This, of course, is the best thing he could have done for me. It's helped me immeasurably when it comes to moving on and I am not remotely envious of the people here dealing in agony with dumpers who still call and send mixed messages.

 

And yet, I know he hasn't with-held contact because he wanted to give me space and time to move on. He hasn't contacted because he's had no desire to talk to me at all, not even to share a funny link or in a moment of intense boredom.

 

That hurts, because it drives home the extent to which I went from centre of his existence, partner by his side, to the absolute periphery of his social life.

 

And yet the solution to that pain - him contacting - would open a whole new bottle of hurt. There's really no way to win, except to keep moving on...

[J0N]

Quoting above... (cant figure out how to do it)

That hurts, because it drives home the extent to which I went from centre of his existence, partner by his side, to the absolute periphery of his social life.

 

And yet the solution to that pain - him contacting - would open a whole new bottle of hurt. There's really no way to win, except to keep moving on...

 

Except for the fact that my ex was a woman (I am a guy, lol) this is exactly how I feel...

[jeff2321]

... but I couldn't find her in face book. She has such a common name that I couldn't find her at all and I'm so lucky I didn't. I also used firefox and turned off display images so I didn't have to see pictures of her, because I actually had the foresight not take the knife and stab myself *all the way*.

 

I have been in complete NC where I got rid of all pictures, facebook, email, everything. I did actually find her on linkedin and it looks like she might of changed jobs but she still does live close to me unfortunately.

 

I don't know why I looked because I have been completely clear with myself about not looking, but I guess I just got curious. I can see why curiosity killed the cat.

 

NO MORE curiosity. I noticed when I was searching for her, my heart started beating fast, I started sweating, and my anxiety levels starting going through the roof. After about 10 minutes of search, I stopped myself and realized I was being stupid and self destructing.

 

I am lucky I didn't find anything out. I don't want to know at this point. It's better if I just go on without knowing anything. What I know already has taken me 11 months to get over and I'm still not fully over it -- I still have ****ty days.

 

J0N, you mentioned you live in a new city and have a new job. Did you move right after your break with your ex? I live probably 20 miles from my ex and I often drive by places we used to go to together. it kills me everytime I see it, even now.

 

I wonder if it's time I just started looking for another place to live. Maybe a change is what I need.

 

Jeff

Edited July 9, 2011 by jeff2321

[D-Lish]

thank you. i needed to see this, the ex's birthday is coming up at the end of this month. and even though i won't be contacting him on that day. my friends think i'm being too harsh - - saying "it's just happy birthday". but for me -- it's not. whether he responds or not, those two words would be enough to set me back for months. it would be much too hard for me. and i put my feelings aside for him enough as it is.

 

JON -- i know what you mean about feeling a little let down about your ex moving on of her own accord and not because of anyone else. i snuck onto the yahoo account the ex and i used to chat on and saw that he was signed in on the screen name we use chat on. he has two screen names he signs in on -- the second one he had stopped signing in on for a few months. but started signing back in on it because for some reason he couldn't see me on the first one. for a second i thought "aw he still misses me" but then in that same moment i reminded myself, "if he really missed me he would have made more of an effort to reach out. oh and don't forget -- the second screen name is also the one he uses to chat with women he meets online :rolleyes:". needless to say that was enough to bring me back to reality! i signed right back out after that without bothering to contact himn

 

but -- it still stings that it's been four months and i haven't heard a peep out of him, in some ways it's helped me heal but it would be nice for some sign that he misses me. but then - - that would only bring about more false hope and i'd be right back where i started. *sigh*

 

Almost 4 months for me as well, and I'm getting a little better- still missing him like crazy though.

 

Whenever I have an urge to reach out to him I think of the following outcomes:

 

1) no reply (rejection all over again)

2) polite reply with no invitation to communicate further (brush of/rejection)

3) He'll tell me he's seeing someone (back to square one)

4) Short friendly exchange of well wishes that ends in him saying "all the best" (brush off/rejection)

 

All of the above will send me back to where I was 3 1/2 months ago and negate all the progress I've made.

 

5) He'll respond with a loving "I miss you so much, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I'd love to get together and talk".... (Incredibly unlikey).

 

I think a lot of us think we can handle responses 1-4, but we're really still looking for #5 because we haven't healed yet.

 

If you haven't healed 100%, re-initiating contact will only set you back.

[J0N]

... but I couldn't find her in face book. She has such a common name that I couldn't find her at all and I'm so lucky I didn't. I also used firefox and turned off display images so I didn't have to see pictures of her, because I actually had the foresight not take the knife and stab myself *all the way*.

 

I have been in complete NC where I got rid of all pictures, facebook, email, everything. I did actually find her on linkedin and it looks like she might of changed jobs but she still does live close to me unfortunately.

 

I don't know why I looked because I have been completely clear with myself about not looking, but I guess I just got curious. I can see why curiosity killed the cat.

 

NO MORE curiosity. I noticed when I was searching for her, my heart started beating fast, I started sweating, and my anxiety levels starting going through the roof. After about 10 minutes of search, I stopped myself and realized I was being stupid and self destructing.

 

I am lucky I didn't find anything out. I don't want to know at this point. It's better if I just go on without knowing anything. What I know already has taken me 11 months to get over and I'm still not fully over it -- I still have ****ty days.

 

J0N, you mentioned you live in a new city and have a new job. Did you move right after your break with your ex? I live probably 20 miles from my ex and I often drive by places we used to go to together. it kills me everytime I see it, even now.

 

I wonder if it's time I just started looking for another place to live. Maybe a change is what I need.

 

Jeff

 

Honestly I didn't really figure out anything from peeking the other day, since we still weren't friends there were only a few pictures that I had already seen. The only thing new was where she lived, I sort of knew she moved out there, I just guessed that it was another city. Not really a big deal. I have re-blocked her, and I realized that the next time I do something stupid like that I might just find something. So not doing that again.

 

I am sad that she is not a part of my life anymore but I am ready to take the next real steps forward.

 

I can honestly say that I DIDN'T move solely because of my ex. I moved because I got the job I always wanted, which I would never have even sought out if we were together. So I guess our break up was ultimately the best possible outcome for the both of us. At least career wise...

 

We both lived in the same city for about 6 months after we broke up, she graduated from grad school and left. I got my job offer and left. She never said good bye. That was that...

[J0N]

Almost 4 months for me as well, and I'm getting a little better- still missing him like crazy though.

 

Whenever I have an urge to reach out to him I think of the following outcomes:

 

1) no reply (rejection all over again)

2) polite reply with no invitation to communicate further (brush of/rejection)

3) He'll tell me he's seeing someone (back to square one)

4) Short friendly exchange of well wishes that ends in him saying "all the best" (brush off/rejection)

 

All of the above will send me back to where I was 3 1/2 months ago and negate all the progress I've made.

 

5) He'll respond with a loving "I miss you so much, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I'd love to get together and talk".... (Incredibly unlikey).

 

I think a lot of us think we can handle responses 1-4, but we're really still looking for #5 because we haven't healed yet.

 

If you haven't healed 100%, re-initiating contact will only set you back.

 

Me and my ex broke up in a very peaceful manner, there was no yelling, no screaming, no crying (at least around each other), and no retaliation after the breakup. It was actually really weird, I told her that I would always be there for her if she ever needed anything, and that she would always have a special place in my heart. I know its cheesy, but I am very honest with people. Thats how I felt, and *ughhh* how I still feel.

 

I believe now that if I did reach out to her, she would be friendly and probably ask me why I hadn't contacted her sooner, and maybe even said she missed me. She even said when we broke up "but I don't want you to be out of my life for good, your a great guy... blah blah."

 

Thats the problem with these things, you can go from being good friends to lovers, but never back unless you both have totally moved on and there are ABSOLUTELY NO. I have no problem reaching out to her in a few years, as I did with my ex ex. You have to be totally TOTALLY moved on, otherwise this will be painful for both parties. I even spent some time with my ex ex, who previously despised me for leaving her. Now we are good friends, and there is an understanding between us that WE ARE JUST FRIENDS, and it will always be that way.

 

I still feel like something is missing in my life.

[GreenPolicy]

JON I have an update of my own. I set up a profile on OK Cupid a few months after my ex dumped me. I've done some casual dating, but haven't yet met anybody that I desired being in a relationship with. I think a big part of that is that I have been working on healing and getting over the ex and it is hard to make a connection when you are not completely emotionally available. I hadn't deleted my account, but I hadn't been active on the site recently. I was not initiating any messaging with women. I had resolved to work on myself more, try to indulge more hobbies and interests, make new friends and strengthen existing friendships, and make more of an effort to date in a few months.

 

I wake up today and get an email alerting me somebody has sent me a message on OKC. I do log in out of curiosity and read a short generic getting to know you kind of message. I browse to the girl's profile to read it and look at her pictures. Guess who appears in two of this girl's pictures? Yep, my ex.

 

I think the whole thing is just a big coincidence. I don't think this person knows who I am. I don't recognize her at all though. If I had to guess, she appears to be somebody my ex became friends with after we split. We spent almost every single weekend together when we were a couple and I'm confident I met pretty much all of her friends at the time.

 

I'm not going to write this person back obviously, but it is upsetting. I avoid looking at my ex's facebook because I regard that as breaking NC, because you are getting a glimpse of their world. I guess I can deduce that she took down all of our pictures together, because I'm sure this person is fb friends with her and otherwise would recognize me as her ex. But nevertheless, I have gotten a glimpse of my ex's world after me. She appears in two pictures. In one, she and the girl who wrote me are posing together smiling. They appear to be on the outdoor patio of a bar. My ex is wearing a blouse I don't recognize, so I assume this is recent. In the other, they are smiling and posing together, apparently at some sort of outdoor concert on the green where you take lawn chairs and blankets.

 

It brings back all the feelings I've been working on trying to process - the lack of closure, not understanding it, the hurt of losing her, feeling like I have struggled to enjoy my life fully while healing whereas she appears to have moved on to a carefree existence. Who knows what is really going on in her life, almost all of us smile while posing for pictures.

 

I feel like NC was broken and it wasn't my fault.

[J0N]

JON I have an update of my own. I set up a profile on OK Cupid a few months after my ex dumped me. I've done some casual dating, but haven't yet met anybody that I desired being in a relationship with. I think a big part of that is that I have been working on healing and getting over the ex and it is hard to make a connection when you are not completely emotionally available. I hadn't deleted my account, but I hadn't been active on the site recently. I was not initiating any messaging with women. I had resolved to work on myself more, try to indulge more hobbies and interests, make new friends and strengthen existing friendships, and make more of an effort to date in a few months.

 

I wake up today and get an email alerting me somebody has sent me a message on OKC. I do log in out of curiosity and read a short generic getting to know you kind of message. I browse to the girl's profile to read it and look at her pictures. Guess who appears in two of this girl's pictures? Yep, my ex.

 

I think the whole thing is just a big coincidence. I don't think this person knows who I am. I don't recognize her at all though. If I had to guess, she appears to be somebody my ex became friends with after we split. We spent almost every single weekend together when we were a couple and I'm confident I met pretty much all of her friends at the time.

 

I'm not going to write this person back obviously, but it is upsetting. I avoid looking at my ex's facebook because I regard that as breaking NC, because you are getting a glimpse of their world. I guess I can deduce that she took down all of our pictures together, because I'm sure this person is fb friends with her and otherwise would recognize me as her ex. But nevertheless, I have gotten a glimpse of my ex's world after me. She appears in two pictures. In one, she and the girl who wrote me are posing together smiling. They appear to be on the outdoor patio of a bar. My ex is wearing a blouse I don't recognize, so I assume this is recent. In the other, they are smiling and posing together, apparently at some sort of outdoor concert on the green where you take lawn chairs and blankets.

 

It brings back all the feelings I've been working on trying to process - the lack of closure, not understanding it, the hurt of losing her, feeling like I have struggled to enjoy my life fully while healing whereas she appears to have moved on to a carefree existence. Who knows what is really going on in her life, almost all of us smile while posing for pictures.

 

I feel like NC was broken and it wasn't my fault.

 

I wouldn't consider that to be breaking NC. You had absolutely no intention of doing it and seeing a couple pictures is no big deal. It is so weird that even looking at my Facebook photos, of me and my ex I get the same feelings. I get taken back to those days and it does bother me. I am not going to delete them though because I do not want to erase her from my life.

 

When I looked at my ex's Facebook, we still aren't friends so I really only saw about 5 pictures, all of which I had seen before. The only update was the city she moved to. I knew she moved to that state, so its not a big deal.

 

On a more positive note, I have been making a lot of new friends in the city and I am enjoying it. There is even a girl that I kind of like, and I am getting a positive vibe from her as well. We will see, I am still not sure that I am ready to hop back into another relationship though.

[bdoggle]

Almost 4 months for me as well, and I'm getting a little better- still missing him like crazy though.

 

Whenever I have an urge to reach out to him I think of the following outcomes:

 

1) no reply (rejection all over again)

2) polite reply with no invitation to communicate further (brush of/rejection)

3) He'll tell me he's seeing someone (back to square one)

4) Short friendly exchange of well wishes that ends in him saying "all the best" (brush off/rejection)

 

All of the above will send me back to where I was 3 1/2 months ago and negate all the progress I've made.

 

5) He'll respond with a loving "I miss you so much, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I'd love to get together and talk".... (Incredibly unlikey).

 

I think a lot of us think we can handle responses 1-4, but we're really still looking for #5 because we haven't healed yet.

 

If you haven't healed 100%, re-initiating contact will only set you back.

 

It's interesting that I get #5 maybe once every 3 weeks or so by text message, but then when I respond to it, I usually get #1 in return. My replys to #5's are usually just asking what happened and why did you make the choice you did. The #5 usually occure late at night where I suppose drinking has occured, so maybe its just the alcohol talking. None the less, even when drunk, people have filters don't they. I don't like these games and cannot understand to motives of those who do. I guess it is just naivety...what do you think?

[J0N]

I just got an invite from a friend for Google +. I was bored and decided to set it up, and what do you know? My ex is in his "circles," I didn't see anything that I hadn't previously seen, except that she is still single and has been since we split up. However, I am a little iffy on weather I should block her or not. Part of me wants to reach out and say that I have moved on and I have forgiven her hopefully leaving the door open to some kind of distant friendship. The other half of me says F her and just block her. I don't want to be a jerk, after all we live on opposite sides of the country. I am sad that she isn't AT ALL a part of my life any more. I guess I am also a little lonely...

 

What do you guys think? I am approaching a year since the breakup. I am not sure that I am healed enough to be friends though. I just don't want to be a jerk to her. I am still blocked on Facebook and everything else, even Linkedin.

 

I decided a while ago that if she did reach out, that I would be receptive and friendly to her. I feel that I have slammed the door shut, and she wouldn't risk the rejection by reaching out to me. I have no reason to be a jerk, I am not going to proactively reach out to her though...

 

What to do???

[J0N]

Or maybe I am just looking for some encouraging words to make the decisions I know I have to make. Must stay the course and put her behind me, even though I don't want to sometimes...

[dng]

Or maybe I am just looking for some encouraging words to make the decisions I know I have to make. Must stay the course and put her behind me, even though I don't want to sometimes...

 

F her and block her or ignore her or don't add her. She will NEVER give you what you crave, you'll always find yourself wanting more.

 

Even at the hint of a possible contact you're already getting all jumpy and ready to forsake your own rules.

 

Keep going forward.

[GreenPolicy]

F her and block her or ignore her or don't add her. She will NEVER give you what you crave, you'll always find yourself wanting more.

 

Even at the hint of a possible contact you're already getting all jumpy and ready to forsake your own rules.

 

Keep going forward.

 

Exactly what dng says. I just had a very weird indirect encounter with my ex through her friend messaging me on OKC. I replied back and indirectly broke NC. I know what I said probably got back to my ex. It was a setback, even though I didn't initiate the correspondence and I didn't reply directly to my ex.

 

If your ex wants to talk to you about the relationship, she knows how to get ahold of you. She dumped you out of the blue. You deserve better than that.

[amethyste]

F her and block her or ignore her or don't add her. She will NEVER give you what you crave, you'll always find yourself wanting more.

 

Even at the hint of a possible contact you're already getting all jumpy and ready to forsake your own rules.

 

Keep going forward.

 

THIS.

I want a Google+ invitation too... woah

[J0N]

Ok, I must admit. From time to time, I noticed that she was on people search websites. I thought that was pretty strange. I even searched myself on these same websites and found nothing. My friend who I actually got her number from when we first went out, was the one who invited me to Google +. I was bored so I did it, I noticed that within a day she also had a Google +, profile, and she put exactly what she was doing on it and where she now lives, and that she is still single. I feel like she did it to reach out to me (in a indirect, breadcrummy way), her friend (who I think is the one who convinced her to break up with me) is now her roommate where she lives now. I feel like she wouldn't add me to her 'circles' because she knew that I would immediately block her. I know she knows how much I loved her, and that I didn't want to break up with her (planned to propose to her on her birthday, I had the $$ saved to buy it, and even the ring picked out). I think she feels bad about how she treated me, but is too scared to reach out to me. In fear of rejection on my part, I have stated though that I would be receptive if she did.

 

I feel like she was dying to find out what I had done with my life since we broke up. I am going to be completely honest, I still have some feelings for her. They are fading though, I may just be rationalizing all of this. Who knows she may have just been bored when she made the profile like I was. Maybe she is realizing what she threw away... either way it is TOO LATE.

 

I blocked her and her roommate on Facebook, Google +, and even LinkedIn. I know that in order for me to be able to heal and move on, I need to focus on MYSELF (at least for now) so that when the time comes and I meet somebody new, I can love them the way that they deserve to be treated. It is time to leave my ex in the past. I have gotten in touch & even become pretty good friends with past ex's so hopefully someday me and my current ex can reconcile as friends. This process usually takes several (5+) years to get to.

 

My siblings have recently expressed to me their doubts about my ex, and how they noticed that her and I may not have clicked as well as I thought we did. I am so grateful to have my sisters & brother, they have been so helpful in providing me advice to help me get over my ex. I have to credit them with handling the break up in such a 'mature' fashion.

 

I really appreciate the encouraging words guys.

 

Everyone knows that TIME & NC are the only things that will help you get over an ex. Sometimes it just takes a little encouragement, and wise words from someone who has been there to help you stay the course.