Sometimes I wish she was out of my head completely

[confused1989]

She's still in my head from time to time and it sucks although the memories of her are so faded now. It sucks though because I really think I need to go through all the seasons of the year before I can be fully over her. I mean, it's summer now and some things that I've been doing I end up getting flashbacks to last summer when she was with me. It's funny because I don't even want her back anymore and haven't for quite a while now, but she still won't get out of my head.

 

Maybe I need to be with someone else for this to happen and for me to forget her completely although I still don't feel ready. Other than her popping up in my head more than I'd like my life is pretty darn good for the time being and I'm pretty satisfied with it and satisfied with standing on my own two feet. Nice not having to get criticized for every move I make and be criticized for not being perfect. I guess after all this time though I still haven't reached any kind of "forgiveness" stage with her and I don't think I ever will be or atleast not anytime soon. I still don't understand how she could jump into this serious relationship not long after stuff ended with us. She found her knight in shining armor and unfortunately it sucks sometimes because she's in love now and has another guy to give her attention to and although I'm 99% satisfied with my life I haven't had another girl to direct my attention to so I guess that's maybe why she's still on my mind, I don't know.

 

I guess sometimes I'm a little bummed that she foudn someone so soon after we ended. I know now she had him lined up but it was jsut a shocker becaues she would always go on and on about how good our relationship was and how good I treated her yet she always criticized me at the same time too.

 

I have a pretty big decision to make in the fall..... either I go back to school where I've been for the past 4 years which is also her school (i'd bump into her a lot, would be inc lasses with her and this makes me kind of anxious) or I move 10 hours away to another school (it'd only be one semester) where more of my friends are. It sucks because I love the school I've been at for the past 4 years and I'd love to go back and the only reason I don't want to is because of my ex and it's a small place so I think it could cause problems being in the same classes as her and seeing her new man. Or maybe after I see it it won't bother me at all. I can't really tell how it'd go. I still feel anger toward her after all this time (we had a long drawn out breakup that went from January to March where I tried to "fix" things) and when she texts me I still feel like telling her where to go sometimes.

Edited July 7, 2011 by confused1989

[RodG]

I'm with you man. I came here just now because I was laying down and some good times with her popped in my head.

 

Just trying to focus that energy I put into her, on myself. They ditched us and moved on so fast. You know what they say? Good things come to those who wait. Their 'knight in shining armor' won't last and right about that time, someone might just come around for all of us who have been cast aside like garbage.

[TheHurtProcess]

I'm with you man. I came here just now because I was laying down and some good times with her popped in my head.

 

Just trying to focus that energy I put into her, on myself. They ditched us and moved on so fast. You know what they say? Good things come to those who wait. Their 'knight in shining armor' won't last and right about that time, someone might just come around for all of us who have been cast aside like garbage.

 

I agree. I'm right here with both of you. There are times I tend to say to myself "Get the F**K out of my head". I know it sounds crazy, but it tends to help quite often. Just don't say it when you're out in public or anything, hahaha. I'm personally sick of it. I feel as though I shouldn't be the one sitting here feeling like s**t.

[RodG]

I agree. I'm right here with both of you. There are times I tend to say to myself "Get the F**K out of my head". I know it sounds crazy, but it tends to help quite often. Just don't say it when you're out in public or anything, hahaha. I'm personally sick of it. I feel as though I shouldn't be the one sitting here feeling like s**t.

 

They aren't sitting around feeling like s**t, why should we? Maybe they will come around and it will hit them at some point. I can only hope.

 

Right now she's in my head, and I'm wondering what she is doing. Who she's with. How things are going... I'll try telling her to "Get the F**K out of my head". Haven't tried that one yet. My mind doesn't deserve to be polluted with her garbage.

 

Seems there are a lot of us in the same boat. Keep up the good fight boys. Them jumping into a relationship right away will be their downfall, no matter how in love they think they are.

[just_scott]

THE emotions/feelings WILL hit them the dumpers like a ton of bricks one day IF you guys spent good quality time together for x amount of time AND they've just jumpped into another relationship without grieveing the past one and healing the new ones gonna be doomed somewhere along the way RIGHT now their new relationships are in the ''honey moon stage'' like when we first hooked up with the ex's SOON enough they'll be reminded of us by seeing something , or hearing a song etc THEN those feelings their attempting to hide will hit them .

 

WHEN u think of them think of them making asses out of them selves n smile and laugh

[vsmini]

I think a key step in getting her out of your head is to not get upset when she pops in for a visit. so to speak.

 

I used to really get upset when I would think about my ex. I would think about how pathetic I was for still thinking about him and how I "should" be over him after so much time had passed. It wasn't until I promised myself to stop getting upset every time I thought of him that I made any progress.

 

Now - if/when he pops in my head - I let the thought stay there and float out naturally. I think about him a lot less and don't dwell on it.

[just_scott]

NOW if you wanna run a little game on them just text ,e-mail ,even call for no reason at all just dumb stuff AND you'll put YOU on their minds

 

TELL friends your doing GREAT them leaving me was a blessing in disguise LET that go through the grape vine to them then they may just start questioning themselves about you

 

AND if they contact you BE STRONG and say nah can't meet up , can't talk i got things going on etc

 

ALL is fair in LOVE n WAR

 

HERE'S what a bud of mine recently did to his dumpper

SHE gave him the i don't love u no more speach CRUSHED him .

ABOUT month later he just wanted her to feel like crap SOO he had a friend of his call her and say he was so and so from the health clinic AND his blood test results had just came in AND he suggestead my friendd contact all the people he was sexually active with in like the last 7 months BUT he was a bit embarrased to call so i am calling cause your one of the names on the list and strongly suggest you go to your physician for a check up MADE her freak out , take a day off work AND pay for a clinic visit lol he felt vindicated .... he's twisted

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

HERE'S what a bud of mine recently did to his dumpper

SHE gave him the i don't love u no more speach CRUSHED him .

ABOUT month later he just wanted her to feel like crap SOO he had a friend of his call her and say he was so and so from the health clinic AND his blood test results had just came in AND he suggestead my friendd contact all the people he was sexually active with in like the last 7 months BUT he was a bit embarrased to call so i am calling cause your one of the names on the list and strongly suggest you go to your physician for a check up MADE her freak out , take a day off work AND pay for a clinic visit lol he felt vindicated .... he's twisted

 

 

:lmao:.... that's the best.

[just_scott]

WELL it did work , he called the clinc the next day and asked if she had an appointment [told them he was driving her ] and they said YES she does she's scheduled for 11:00 am YA know she's having restless nights until her lab results come back OH well

[TheHurtProcess]

They aren't sitting around feeling like s**t, why should we? Maybe they will come around and it will hit them at some point. I can only hope.

 

Right now she's in my head, and I'm wondering what she is doing. Who she's with. How things are going... I'll try telling her to "Get the F**K out of my head". Haven't tried that one yet. My mind doesn't deserve to be polluted with her garbage.

 

Seems there are a lot of us in the same boat. Keep up the good fight boys. Them jumping into a relationship right away will be their downfall, no matter how in love they think they are.

 

Perhaps it just might hit them at some point. I think it will. It may not be a anytime soon or to get back together even, but perhaps they do have a conscience after all and maybe the guilt might actually begin to weigh on that conscience.

 

Anyways, I usually add something to the "Get the F**K out of my head" speech for added effect. Perhaps something along the lines of what you said afterward would also work as well... "My mind doesn't deserve to be polluted with your garbage" or something similar.

 

Just enjoy it when you do

[confused1989]

It might hit them at some point.. I don't know. I think more often than not it does but I really feel like it'll never hit my ex and I have come to accept that. I feel like the second we broke up she had a switch that she just flicked and forgot about me and was over me in that instant. I took a lot of badmouthing from her and took the most extreme insults I've ever been told yet I tried not to be that way toward her and it still didn't make her think any differently of me but it did make me feel better about myself for being able to control it. I saw a relationship between her and another guy developing before we broke up and I watched it play out and as of recently they're now facebook official (heard from a cousin, didn't shock me too much because like I said I saw this coming). So, to me, although I didn't have closure and although my ex blamed me for virtually everything and didn't give me straight answers, the answer has been more clear as time goes on and she left me for a guy who lives 8 hours away. That suits her better anyway because she needs someone to leech on to (I don't know if she was ever single) but she wants a ton of space too so maybe the LDR will work for her.

 

It's funny though how a lot of people here bank on NC to bring people back. Well in my situation I can say NC indeed did NOT bring my ex back and I can say it put me in a better place so that now I'm HAPPY she didn't come back. It's taking me a long time to get over her and it's a little bit of a downer that she has a new man while I still think about her, but I know I'm in a better place now and I know she's not someone I want a future with.

 

Sometimes I wish she saw some kind of value in me but there's no way to physically get in her head and make her regret anything, she's not the type to regret much anyway so it makes it easier to not look back when you know you're dealing with an ex who has too much pride and is on another planet.

 

 

and just_scott I just about died laughing when I read that post :lmao:

 

and vsmini I agree with you too. I get random thoughts but it's just of "her" if that makes any sense. I don't really think about what she's doing or how she's been or anything like that, it's just a generic thought of her. Kinda hard to explain I guess. Like I have absolutely no desire to contact her or bump into her or anything like that.

 

I've been doing good for myself lately though and am actualyl enjoying life a lot more now than I was and it seems to keep getting a little better each day. Most of my family/friends/etc. think she's crazy for the way she's acted and have gave me a lot of support and I've gotten a lot of support here too. I don't put all the blame on her though and I knwo sometimes people will just say things to make you feel better but I think I see the situation a lot better as time goes on. That includes my faults and hers.

[Geya]

confused1989 you should know that you can't control what you think, thoughts will come and go and you have no control on what thoughts come and what thoughts go, however YOU choose how you will respond to them, when a thought of your ex pops up don't judge it, don't judge yourself blame yourself, that'll only cause you to obsess and it'll only give that thought more power, let the thoughts come and go however they like, don't try to hold on to one and obsess about it.. And don't get upset if they still came to your mind, you have no control of that, think of it as intruders or visitors that comes every now and then..

With time trust me the obsession and thinking will lessen, it'll start diminishing if you stopped giving those thoughts so much power.. they'll come wether u like it or not but it's up to you wether to hold on to that thought make it the biggest deal, blame yourself for why it came, wonder about it, let it lead to another similar thought and just obsess about it or just laugh it off and continue to do what ur doing..

 

Goodluck & we're always here for any help or support