I feel so stupid and ashamed for still having feelings for him..

[FlyMoon]

flymoon

 

borderline personality disorder?

 

not a personal attack, if you think so then seek councel

 

 

I dont think so. (I had to google it as I don't know what the disorder really is) but I dont think any of it applies to me.

I never had insecurities and ppl around me are all reallly faithful and awesome.

I have quite a strong personality and for now I think I'm struggling between what I SHOULD want and what I WOULD want..

If I am to really forget everythiing and move on fully, I want this to be at my full choice not a bit due to circumstance or the moment's emotion...

I just dont want to get hurt anymore v. stupid enough i still have feelings for him despite disrespectiful things hes done to me.. is the larget part of the dilemma

[FlyMoon]

I.. I.. I .. ME... ME.. ME.... MY MY MY YOU sound a bit selfish and over the top, maybe thats why he bailed ?

 

again not attacking you just an oberservation

 

 

I do feel like I am being attacked.

 

First, I am here to post what happened to me and how I feel - get advices from people who could relate to me or have gone through similar things.

Second, I can only speak for myself and not for someone else.

Hence I use "I" or "Me".

 

And I do not think the repeated usage of those first-person point of view means anything selfish or an indication of a disorder.

 

I doubt you have even read my story and even you did, the story is limited due to both in writing and in anonymity. With things he has done to me and after BU, I need to sort things out for myself and not for anybody else.

 

Again, why is everyone here? They are all here to talk about themselves and to work on themselves.

[CaliBabe]

Stay strong, know you are worth more than what he is offering you. Continue NC until you feel indifferent.

[FlyMoon]

Stay strong, know you are worth more than what he is offering you. Continue NC until you feel indifferent.

 

Thanks. I'm now so cynical about the R itself...Lost all the hope and enjoyment for the future R as well. seems all kinda purposeless. All it brings is a lousy sense of futileness and a broken heart afterall.

 

But I will definitely NC all the way.. I will forget about him eventually but I probably cant forgive him for a very long time.

 

we train people how to treat us - go back only if you expect him to treat you poorly... because that's what your asking for by going back.

 

You are right. I should not have opened up so easily and quickly like that....