jms2638 Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 So me and my ex were together about 3 years and some change, first 2 years were excellent some things did happen, but we overcame them and kept it moving. The last year it started getting rocky, after our first year she was basically in her career (hairdresser) and i was just getting out of school to try and start mine, ( hvac ) but no one was hiring for apprenticeships, so i got odd jobs here and there nothing that was career type, we're young 22 years old. She got an apartment for a lease of 1 year, that was our second year together, a little more fights started to occur some serious some not, but we still kept it moving, 3rd year she got another apartment closer to where i live, ( I still live with my parents ) she got a better hairdressing gig making more money, im still working but not even making half of what she does, about halfway into the second year we broke up for like 4-5 days, she got in touch we a guy she used to mess with when she was 16, never dated him just friends with benefits, they hung out when we were broke up those 4-5 days but i know for a fact nothing happened. She's definitley more mature than to step out on me like that, after that we got back together [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] seemed to be going fine but then more fights busted out and we broke up again after the third year, that guy messaged her a few times she responded it was all flirty [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] but it was just texts, no phone calls no facebook chat no emails, we got back together for about 2 weeks, that was a great two weeks, but on july 4th weekend she was with her parents and family at a cottage, she didnt text me at all but called me a few times, it was weird on monday i was playing football with my buddies and i just had a thought that she was going to break up with me and i knew the reasons, welp i was right i called her monday night she picked up with a tone i heard before, she was upset, not really a girlfriend voice, and i asked her bay whats wrong, she said nothing, i asked her again, she said nothing im fine, im like i heard this voice before please just tell me, didnt raise my voice or anything just a concern voice, she said "we shouldn't date anymore, you're not in your career yet, i know your going to the army but that's in a few months, and i feel i just need to be alone to figure out who i am, lose my weight, and just do me, im not trying to date, just do me, because you know your not the only one in the relationship with issues" i took a deep breath and said ok, my heart shattered right there. It's wednesday, havent spoke to her at all since monday, i know she loves me and misses me, and i know that she knows that i miss her and love her, i pretty sure she's going to contact that dude for a rebound, the thing is that guy is older than me and doing worse than i am, im not doing bad at all, he's not working, doesn't have a car, has an apartment but his uncle owns the complex so he's able to live there cheaply from the unemployment he gets. Now i want this girl back i know i need do me but im so afraid she might move on, it really hurts when we told each other about 100 times we're the one for each other, looked in each others eyes, she's really an adult and she could mess around with that guy but i know they're some what friends and that's not what she's looking for, there's more to this story and i'll be glad to share, i just want feedback im trying the no contact thing, hoping she'll contact me first thanks for reading
Kilty Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 i know she loves me and misses me, and i know that she knows that i miss her and love her, i pretty sure she's going to contact that dude for a rebound, Sorry to hear of your situation. I have quoted the above bit of your post to show you how your emotions are running wild at the moment. She loves you and misses you but is going to go with someone else is a contradiction - so firstly never assume anything especially how someone else feels or what they are doing. Also im afraid if she is going to go with someone else there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it - in fact you can probably hurry up the process. If this girl knows how you feel about her then there is nothing left to say anyway. Usually the best advice is one time only to accept most of the blame, apologise, leave her in no doubt how you feel without pleading or begging and then say nothing after that. People usually think that with engaging no contact it gives the other person time and space to forget about them when in actual fact the opposite happens. You'll just need to do what you are doing and go total no contact and if you are in doubt have a look at some of the posts on here where the posters have broken no contact etc in an attempt to get their ex's back. If she is going to come back she has to come to that decision on her own and if she doesnt then she wasnt worth it bud. And if she is going to jump into a rebound then you wont want her back either. But as i said - you can do nothing to stop that. Hopefully she will be in touch but its now up to her to initiate it
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