Lilmisus Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 I've been spending the past however long not focusing or really even thinking about my ex, as I've been dating and getting to know the new guy I've been talking to, and as I've been trying to better myself and focus on making me happy. Today, I had lunch with a great friend of mine and her daughter from my old job where my ex and his girlfriend work at. We talked for about 2 hours over lunch about everything under the sun. I told her how happy I've been, and she said that it's really easy to tell, that I seem like a completely different people, especially since the last time she saw me, she said that she could tell I was really depressed. Of course though, we talked a good bit about my ex and what went down there. We talked about why we broke up, and she confessed that the day that she first met him at our job (a few days after we broke up), he told her that the reason he broke up with me was because I was never up to do anything (basketball, hang out with his friends, etc..). She said that as she got to know me, she found it harder and harder to believe that since I'm a very outgoing and friendly person who likes to do pretty much anything. From my POV, that had nothing to do with the reason we broke up, but it did shine new light onto what he was thinking at the time. But the reason I'm starting this thread, is because she told me somethings about him that have me pretty worried. For one, he's starting to drink a lot, like..everyday according to her. He always goes out every night or every other night and gets completely wasted now, and he's told her more than a few times that he was quitting drinking, but then he just goes out again. His father and step father are both alcoholics, and I know that he used to drink a lot when he was younger and in high school, but while we were together, he didn't do that nearly as much. Said those days were behind him and that he was ready to just calm down with life and be a better person. Which..he seemed to try to do for a majority of our relationship. He drank some, and went out with his friends a lot, but not to the point where he is at now. Especially since he needs to save his money, and he swore to me earlier this year that he was going to spend the summer saving money so he could get his life on the right track (which I tried to help him do while we were together). Another thing, is that apparently he's just using his girlfriend now, and has at the very least tried to cheat on her a few times already. One girl he tried to cheat on her with (last Thursday), was my friend's daughter (who I was with today), but my friend was right there and told him "No, you're not doing that, you're dating ****" and he accused her of trying to run his life. I can't say how true it is that he's just using his girlfriend, but apparently it's very obvious that he just tells her what to do (a few people told me this), and it doesn't matter what it is...she'll do it for him. Plus, that everyone knows that at least at the beginning, she was just a piece of meat to him, and a rebound. I wasn't like that to that extreme while with him...but I honestly really really hoped that he'd start treating girls decently after me, but from the looks of it, he's only gotten to treating her way worse. Third thing, he doesn't have a car anymore (transmission blew?), and doesn't have any real plans to get one it seems. Making me wonder if he's lost all of the little ambition he had left. Especially since he's spending all his money where he shouldn't be spending it. I know it's silly to be worried over him like this...but I do still love and care about him, though I would never go back to him, no matter what, and even though I'm starting to get feelings for my new guy. The longing for his happiness never went away, even after he stomped all over my heart and tore my feelings into a dozen little pieces. I know there's nothing I can do about it, and nothing I can do for him, but posting this thread is kind of just my way to vent about things.
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