SwampDonkey Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Been seeing a girl for 2-years. She lived 50-miles away and neither of us can move so this is how it is for at least the next 10-years. When it's good, it's totally out of this world, but when it's bad it's terrible. We keep splitting when she is stressed out with life then getting back together. Each time I feel like a few years have gone off my life. I'm not sure why we end up back together all of the time; maybe I'm scared of being lonely, maybe I'm scared I won't find anyone else as nice at this late stage (I'm 47) and maybe I subconsciously like the fact that I can't live with someone again. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, but I know it will never work. So how do I let it go for good? When the text arrives in two-weeks time saying she loves me, how do I let that go?
Forever Learning Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 i feel your pain entirely because I am in the exact same situation. he was 47. we underwent the same scenario for 2 years along with a similar 10 year barrier item you mentioned. my heart is shattered from the experience. i am trying my best to pick up the pieces, cope, learn, move on, find peace and meaning in life. it is interesting that you mentioned not knowing if you would want to live with someone again, I face that problem too. I have trust issues that I wonder if I will ever resolve to reach real happiness. at the moment it seems overwhelming in trying to sort out the trust issues. anyways I will be interested to read any other feedback you receive on your post here.
Author SwampDonkey Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 Because of her commitment phobia I had trust issues too. Maybe they were an underlying problem, one of many. The thing is, I am insecure, mostly because she lied to me about contact with her ex on three occasions and she openly admits to me that she thinks it's OK to cherry pick what she tells me. I am into absolute honesty and she knows it, so she is secure and I'm not. There's no way I can pop over for a coffee and a chat. She has all the power and I'm the one making things happen. I'm the one that sets time aside to make myself available in case she has free time only to find she's planned something else. I'm the one that does all the travelling, leaving at 6:00 am to get home in time to start work. I'm the one planning to give us quality time together. I give her attention, plenty of love, compliments, I do her ironing while she is at work, cut the lawns, clean the house, cook for her, you name it I've done it, yet I'm the one that's been dumped. She says it's because she has too many people pulling her in too many directions (3-children) and that I'm the only thing that can give. I just don't think she copes well with stress, hence the text that I will no doubt receive in two-weeks time.
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