2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Hi RL ended new year's, we were getting on great, went out for about 8 Months - not long I know - but we seemed perfect (both in 30s). Long story short I the following things happened: We were both inexperienced in RLs so did not really know how to handle things and work them out, I tried talking but she hated that and at some point she had been really hurt before so started putting up early defences towards my efforts trying to iron out a few issues we had - they were just silly misunderstanding and nothing too bad. Very quickly she started acting with anger and extreme defence towards me and everything I said was twisted and turned to make me look bad and her the innocent one. I am not for one minute saying I was blameless but we both had problems that needed to be talked out and for each other to understand one and other. In a bout of frustration and anger I offered up that we should call it a day but I think she had pushed me into this, she couldn't say it but was wanting to and hated conflict (as she called it). She did say we should be friends and we needed some space. In short I walked away and did NC as I knew there was no going back and I had to heal, she had tarred me as the enemy and just another guy who hurt her. We did speak online a few times since then but nothing other than boring **** and her still expressing anger and hostility towards me. So a few weeks ago I sent an email saying I understand that she did not want to speak for the last 6 months but I did not think it should have turned out like that, and I think you did not want that either but if you still feel the same I respect that. Of course I was not expecting any reply, and was not bothered if she did or not, the email was more me trying to get my closure. but now I am thinking that I did not say what i REALLY wanted to say and that I am now thinking I want to send another for my satisfaction, yes my satisfaction, because this girl hid away and absolved any responsibility she should have had as a mutual partner in a RL to at least explain or try and tell me she did not want to continue, or give me reasons why, but instead manipulated me to do all the dirty work and then shoot me down in flames any time I tried to further get proper closure. This is the thing that annoys me, the way she just slinked off into the sunset with all her pride in check while I lay there with a knife in my back. In short I really want to send another email spelling out what I thought of her, the way she handled things, the way I handled things and to actually thank her for the lessons I learned etc. Should I? I mean should I really? I just feel like laying it all out to her I don't care anymore apart from being able to say what I always wanted to say to her. Tbh I think she needs to hear it as she is a very obstinate, selfish and self-centred person with no care but her own selfish desires. 2011
Author 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 Actually we are talking about my EX EX here. My most recent ex and me weren't really compatible and she had the foresight to actually call me and state it wasn't working out, I agreed and I thanked her for her up front attitude about it and then left it at that. No bad blood or frustration I was over it in about 10 minutes, we weren't compatible so I was relieved anyway. So being still angry about this situation 6 months ago is testament to the nature of this girl and the way she handled the BU - I am not saying I shouldn't be angry because I am and I want my payback. 2011
stray Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 The reality of the situation is that your ex doesn't want to give you closure. She doesn't want you to "win" by responding with a simple, "thanks for the letter". She's too selfish. She'll do anything, hurt anyone, to get in 'the last word". Realize you're not dealing with someone like yourself. You're dealing with a bi*ch. There's only one way to deal with bi*ches. Let them marinate in their own misery, and just walk away. I'm a female, trust my words here. Ask yourself this: why do you get attached to an emotionally unavailable woman? Maybe you are emotionally unavailable yourself, and you seek someone who will reinforce your feelings about yourself. What would happen if you met a woman who was perfect and gave you the attention you wanted? Could you handle that? Why/why not? Think about it.
Author 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 Stray Yes I did think about the emotionally unavailable side of things and yes I probably would be in a state of shock if I actually met the one and they actually put in the effort and reflected the effort I put in to make it work, as yet I have not met that person and if I did yes it probably would be scary. It was strange how me and my ex ex went from being so close, so connected to this but yes I will say she was a complete mind-game bitch about the whole thing and al I hold now for her is complete anger and mistrust. For the most part I did let her stew, I was wanting to contact - like proper contact for months - but never, as I said only the occasional bumping into her online. I have now deleted everything so that is no longer possible. She used to post all these kind of low-level aggressive comments on FB, on mine too just as we were in BU stage and continued to do so afterwards. She could never say these things to people's faces but hid behind a digital cloak to do it. I really really pity the next guy she meets or has met, he will soon experience what I did and if I could find him I would warn him. 2011
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