rayray52 Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 (edited) I am 25, she is 42. Met her at my internship. Felt that we had a connection and clicked-- anyway to maintain 'professional boundaries' I waited until the internship ended (last June) and then added her on Facebook, and it was right after that time she asked me out. We hung out 2 days in a row and had a great time. A lot in common (both Psychology backgrounds), great conversation, strong connection, at the end of each date we spent decent amount of time kissing and holding hands, etc, -- really felt things were headed in right direction. It was great! Since then over the last few weeks I haven't seen her-- Both been pretty busy as she visited her parents for a week, and then for a few days a girlfriend of hers was visiting from out of state. During this time I've also been very busy with school working towards my Master's degree, and would text maybe every other day just to say hey and talk about how things have been. The conversations were kept pretty casual and not much more than that. Anyway I called her on Monday to say hi and made plans knowing she was finally gonna be back in town. She was receptive and engaging on the phone-- said she wanted to hang so we made plans that we would see each other that same evening. I told her to call me when she got back, and she said she would. Well, that evening came and passed with no phone call. I was surprised, checked her Facebook page and saw she posted one of those updates from Iphone where you check in from different locations, example: "Sarah was at Azteca II restaurant. 5:40PM" ... Thing is she posted it twice, the 2nd one being just 15 minutes later with added detail, example: "Sarah was at Azteca II restaurant with Brian Johnson" , and the name linked to this other dudes Facebook page. Wow. I really found it disrespectful and slap in the face that not only did she stand me up-- not even having the courtesy for a text or call to cancel, but the audacity of openly displaying that she was out with another guy on a date only about an hour before she said she would call me. And I have a very hard time believing it didn't cross her mind that I would probably notice that. I wanted to call/text her but knew to maintain my dignity it would be best to put it on ice and wait for her to contact me. I was confident she would at least text me today, and was hoping for an apology... Nope, nothing.... I'm confident she will text me soon-- and I plan on asking her what the deal is, and going to try to do it in a way where she doesn't feel attacked and get all defensive.. But until then I'm sitting here pondering what the hell is going on?! My only possible explanations: -She is just a flaky person in general and this is just her true character showing. She is very pretty, and been single for a long time which kind of raises an eyebrow. So maybe this is just standard behavior....? -This is her way of keeping her emotional distance from me, maybe sensing I was liking her too much....? -Last week on my birthday a few girls posted on my wall comments like, "Happy birthday sweetie! miss you! xoxo" -- and that possibly bothered her. Standing me up and shoving in my face she was with another guy was her way of reacting to that or trying to prove her own worth/value... ? All advice is appreciated. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read. Edited July 6, 2011 by rayray52
oaks Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Don't bother trying to read a motive in to her actions. She flaked, which is unacceptable, so you can either move on and forget about her or call her up and ask for an explanation (but call her out immediately on anything that's obviously a lie, since you know she went to a restaurant with Brian). Generally, women who are really interested in you will make sure you know it, so I'm guessing that she's just not that into you.
Cee Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 If your "conversation" over the last few weeks have been only through text, maybe the romantic connection faded. It doesn't seem to cool to go several weeks between dates in the early phase. Neither of you made much of an effort to see each other. I don't care how busy people are- they make time if interested. You could let it all go or call her on the telephone and catch up with her. During the convo, maybe you can assess or interest. Or simply say straight out that you'd like to go on a date and is she up for that. As for reading her motives via Facebook, it's not worth it. Facebook accounts for 5% of my real life and even though people think they know what I'm up to, they don't.
buster2209 Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Kudos for not contacting her. Shows you respect yourself. Chalk this one up to experience and remember, just because a woman is in her 40s, doesn't mean she is mature.
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