MindyJJ Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) This is what my mother and 3 brothers said. I'm about to turn 18 years old on September and already finished high school. Honestly this is the first time ever, he put his hands on me. We were arguing over my curfew rule that I can't came after 10PM. It was only one hour later (11 PM). I hate being reprimanded about it and when he tried that (he wouldn't leave me alone and kept on going on), I just gave him an attitude and called him stupid. It was not until I spat on him that all of the sudden he grabbed me by my arms, shook me (not too hard but I still felt the pressure) and said I will not disrespect him like that ever again unless I wanna get thrown out and how that's enough. Well see, I have 3 brothers while I'm the only girl. One of my brother did that once and my father immediately smacked him across the face. With me it was different and so sometimes I would say things when he was irritating me. I guess I knew he would never hit me or lay his hands on me but damn, I was shocked this time. It's also the only time he ever yelled at me. I didn't cried out (though I felt like) but I'm currently not speaking to him till. My mother and brothers saw this but they all say they don't blame him at all. I just told him in the end that I would call the cops on him if he ever lay a hand on me again. Edited July 5, 2011 by MindyJJ
Author MindyJJ Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 I'm mad at my brothers... can't believe they didn't get him to let go of me. They kept saying things ''Well that's what you got for putting an act and trying to be all tough''. Argggggggg
anne1707 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Fine, call the police and he can tell them that you spat in his face as this can be classed as assault.
Dust Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I don’t think you should call the police on your family in this situation as you described it. Why not go talk to your mother about this?
Author MindyJJ Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 Fine, call the police and he can tell them that you spat in his face as this can be classed as assault.I don't think it's anywhere coming to what he did to me.
anne1707 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I don't think it's anywhere coming to what he did to me. I think spitting at someone is disgusting and offensive. It shows a total lack of respect, is abusive and can be classed as assault. I would have far greater issue with that than with someone shaking me (but not too hard). You were baiting your father into reacting.
Citizen Erased Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 You spat in his face and you're pissed he grabbed your arms and yelled at you? My father would have kicked me out of his house if I ever spat in his face, the only thing your father should be ashamed about is he didn't raise you to respect your parents.
Author MindyJJ Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 I don’t think you should call the police on your family in this situation as you described it. Why not go talk to your mother about this?I did and she said it was deserved and how she would have slapped if she was him. I'm still shocked.... I didn't think he would do, coming from someone who would overly teach my brothers about not ever hitting us (according my mother he was taught this from an early age too).
Dust Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I did and she said it was deserved and how she would have slapped if she was him. I'm still shocked.... I didn't think he would do, coming from someone who would overly teach my brothers about not ever hitting us (according my mother he was taught this from an early age too). You’re 18 why don’t you just move out? If he really is dangerous calling the cops won’t do anything but make him really mad. I mean I guess maybe you could get him arrested if he left marks on you but then what a restraining order? It’s your parents house and the rest of the family seems on his side so you’d be the one who’d probably end up having to leave. It’s really best not to use the legal system unless you’re scared for your life. This sounds more like revenge, I mean what next are you going to try to sue him for money over this? Just move out if its that bad, the legal system probably can’t fix this for you, would probably make all this worse. Talk to a policeman if you want and just ask them questions. Better yet talk to a lawyer about the situation. Even better just move out if its that bad and try to distance yourself.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I know you dont want to hear this, but you deserved it, because youre being a brat. If youre still living in your dads house, you have to go by his rules. You really should have been slapped across the face, especially after spitting on him. Bottom line is he doesnt want you going out late and getting pregnant. If you want to go out late and do what you want, as a new adult, then you need to get a job and move out.
Dust Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I know you dont want to hear this, but you deserved it, because youre being a brat. If youre still living in your dads house, you have to go by his rules. You really should have been slapped across the face, especially after spitting on him. Bottom line is he doesnt want you going out late and getting pregnant. If you want to go out late and do what you want, as a new adult, then you need to get a job and move out. What if you slapped a woman and she fell to the ground holding herself screaming "my baby, oh I hope my baby is ok!"
Citizen Erased Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 What if you slapped a woman and she fell to the ground holding herself screaming "my baby, oh I hope my baby is ok!" None of that happened so how is that relevant to the OP?
Dust Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 None of that happened so how is that relevant to the OP? It’s relevant because it’s one of the reasons you aren’t supposed to get physical with women. You can’t really tell if they are pregnant. Eddie Edirol said she should have been slapped in the face. Not a great idea to just slap a woman in the face as some kind of revenge/retaliation for being spit on.
LuckyLady13 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 MindyJJ, if you were my daughter, you'd have 7 days to pack your bags and get out of my house. No apologies, no whining about how you have nowhere to go or no job or whatever. That would've crossed such a line with me I wouldn't have slapped you, I'd inform you that you're no longer living in my house. You posted this in the abuse section of the forum but the abuse was coming from you. Consider yourself very lucky you're still living under your fathers roof.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Fine, call the police and he can tell them that you spat in his face as this can be classed as assault. I don't think it's anywhere coming to what he did to me. Lost on this thread is that, as the parent, the father probably has every legal right to do as he did. The child, by contrast, does NOT have the right to assault her parent or anyone else by spitting in their face. Mindy, you need tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime to let this blow over, AND you need to have learned something from it once it does. This really isn't about your curfew, or anything like that, it's about the amount of respect you should evolve to show toward others. (I'm sure it stings to hear that... but if you read this over upon your 30th birthday, I'm confident you will agree)
Author MindyJJ Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 Bottom line is he doesnt want you going out late and getting pregnant.I had a BF in 9th grade and wasn't dumb enough to get pregnant. I know about protection and all. No it didn't lasted and we broke up long ago and I'm now single. Till this day neither one of my parents knows anything about this. I know what they probably expect me to be, the innocent one who is a saint and has never had a boyfriend nor even taste wine before. Maybe some girls my age are like this but this is really an unrealistic expectation. Regarding work, I already filled out the application and send my resume. I'm just waiting to be called anytime this week.
Author MindyJJ Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 (edited) Lost on this thread is that, as the parent, the father probably has every legal right to do as he did. The child, by contrast, does NOT have the right to assault her parent or anyone else by spitting in their face.I meant to say what he did was nothing in comparing to what I did because he was annoying the hell out of me. Now I can't even call my friends on my cell phone, it's been taken away after refusing to apologize when my mother demanded. What now?? This isn't fair that all the blame is on me. Maybe I would apologize if he does first. Edited July 6, 2011 by MindyJJ
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